


Undertow

by suffolkgirl



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Helo runs a hotel, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kara is a PI, Lee has a complicated life, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Set in the Twelve Colonies, Terrorism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 65,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26880577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suffolkgirl/pseuds/suffolkgirl
Summary: Private investigator Kara Thrace is having a dull day until her old friend Karl Agathon asks for a simple favour - looking for a missing guest from his hotel - that spirals into something much more complicated and dangerous.Ten years earlier, student Lee Adama goes to a lecture that changes his life.This is set in the Twelve Colonies, but a complete AU, all the action is planetside, very loosely related to canon.
Relationships: Lee "Apollo" Adama/Gianne (BSG 2003), Lee "Apollo" Adama/Kara "Starbuck" Thrace
Comments: 95
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...I appear to be writing another BSG story. I didn't mean to, but three plot ideas came together and amused me so much I started writing them. I'm having trouble summarizing this story without giving too much away of where it's going, so I hope you'll bear with me. It's a light-hearted (well mostly) mystery/suspense story...and it's a Lee-centric story although a lot of the present storyline is from Kara's POV.
> 
> It has also developed into having two storylines, one in the 'present' and one in the 'past'. I'm going to alternate chapters between past and present and post two chapters in every update. I hope to update roughly every 7-10 days - I've written half of this story and got the rest planned out. I'm struggling with another story I'm writing so this is a bit of fun in between that.

_ Virgon, ten years ago. _

The lecture hall is packed, much to Lee’s surprise. He only came here tonight because his tutor recommended it. He was expecting a dull evening and a half empty room, not the hum of anticipation. 

Lee thinks he will have to stand at the back, but then he spots a solitary empty chair in the middle of a row. He picks his way carefully towards it, murmuring polite apologies, only to be defeated at the last hurdle; the girl next to the empty seat hasn’t moved her bag, and he’s so busy trying not to step on her toes that he tumbles over the strap and almost falls into the chair.

The girl sends him a look of amused derision that makes Lee flush to the roots of his hair. He’s about to apologise when the politics professor hosting the event begins to introduce the first speaker.

Lee straightens in his seat, pretending to listen attentively while sneaking glances at the girl next to him. Her hair, neatly plaited down the back of her head, is fair, but the eyes that mocked his clumsiness are dark brown, so dark they are almost black. It’s an arresting combination. Her clothes are in the same vein as most of the other female students - loose flowery top, jeans, lace-up boots, a colourful woollen scarf - but on her it looks stylish, rather than thrown together. Something about the graceful way she perches on the chair, the confident tilt of her head.

The first speaker moves to the microphone. Lee checks the programme someone shoved into his hand at the door, and sees that he’s going to speak on the political balance of the twelve colonies. He sighs, hoping he doesn’t fall asleep. He was up until the early hours last night, studying for a test on contract law.

He’s not sure why his tutor suggested he come here anyway. Something about needing to see law in the context of the whole of society to truly understand its purpose. 

The room is getting uncomfortably warm. Lee undoes the buttons on his coat, and sneaks another glance at the girl.

She’s looking back at him, with that same mocking curve to her mouth. She leans towards him, until she’s so close that Lee can feel her breath on his cheek. He freezes, his mouth suddenly dry.

She whispers in his ear. “Pay attention. It’ll be worth it.”

It takes Lee’s flustered brain a moment to process the words. She draws back, still looking amused, as he nods, desperately hoping that he’s not blushing again.

He does as she says, and pays attention, and she’s right. It is worth it.

This isn’t a dry explanation of the Colonial government system, it’s an impassioned dissection of that system. Of how the wealthier planets exploit the poorer ones, raiding their resources and taking the profits for themselves, leaving their people impoverished and disadvantaged. He’s followed by two more speakers, a man from Sagittaron and a woman from Aerilon, telling the story of how their lives have been shaped by struggling against those disadvantages. Then the first speaker takes the stage again, speaking of reforms that can be made, and how they can all do their part to fight for those changes.

Lee’s completely engrossed. He’s so caught up in the power of the words, of the new thoughts and ideas propagating in his brain, that he almost forgets the girl until it’s all over, and they’re on their feet applauding the speakers.

She whispers in his ear again, but this time he’s prepared for it.

“You obviously come from one of the rich planets. Scorpia? Picon? Caprica?” Something must show in his face, because she chuckles. “Bingo. Caprica.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you were listening to all that as if it was new information.”

“It wasn’t new. Of course I know that the wealthier colonies have always taken advantage of the poorer ones.” Lee doesn’t want her thinking he’s some idiot who can’t see beyond his privileged Caprican bubble. “But the media on Caprica, the teachers at school, always portray it as if it’s the poorer colonies’ fault. That if they got their act together and started running their planets properly, they could easily improve their situation and be as wealthy as Caprica is. But tonight...to hear from people who grew up on those planets...it’s a very different perspective.”

“It is.” For the first time, there’s no amusement in her face as she looks at him. “I grew up on Sagittaron.”

“Thanks for telling me to listen.” 

Around them people are putting on coats, collecting bags, folding up their chairs and carrying them to stack against the wall, but Lee stands still, gazing into the girl’s impossibly dark eyes.

She smiles at him. “Would you like to get a coffee? If you’re interested in all this, there are some books I can recommend to you.”

Tripped up by old habits, Lee opens his mouth to say that he can’t, that he has to get home. Then he remembers that Zak and his mother, all the duties and obligations that bound him for so long, are millions of miles away. There’s nothing waiting for him on Virgon but revision notes and laundry and his roommate’s snoring.

“I’d love to,” he says, and smiles back at her. She blinks, a flash of surprise cracking her smooth face.

“I haven’t introduced myself,” he says, buttoning up his coat. “I’m Lee.” 

She loops her long scarf around her neck. “I’m Gianne.”


	2. Chapter 2

_ Caprica, Present Day _

Kara Thrace scanned through her emails, sighing.

_ Bail jumper. Cheating husband. Insurance fraud. Cheating wife. Bail jumper. _

Kara hadn’t gone into private investigation with any illusions that it would be as glamorous and exciting as TV shows would have you believe, but the sheer mundanity of most of her cases often depressed her. Especially when she compared it to her old life as a police detective. 

Maybe she should have gone into a different sphere of work altogether, become an artist or a firefighter or a pyramid player or...or something. But she hadn’t been quite able to let go of criminal investigation entirely. So here she was, in a square box of an office in a square box of a building in a slightly run-down area of Caprica City, getting ready to pursue another bail jumper.

Her phone rang. Kara smiled as she saw the caller’s ID, and picked up.

“Karl! Getting tired of all that fresh air yet?”

Her old friend’s chuckle echoed down the line. “You getting tired of choking on all those traffic fumes?”

“Never. It’s my natural habitat.” Kara pushed back her chair and kicked her feet up on the desk. “Why don’t you come down for a visit? I haven’t seen you in months.” Far too long. She had plenty of friends to hang out with in the city, but she couldn’t relax with them in quite the same way as she could with Karl Agathon.

“I wish I could, but we’re gearing up for the summer season.”

“You only just geared down from the winter season.” 

“What can I say? A hotelier’s work is never done.” Karl sounded perfectly happy about it. 

“That’s a long word. _Ho-tel-ier_. Haven’t you gone up in the world.”

“Well, I can’t pretend I don’t prefer working for myself. It might be long hours, but at least all the money goes in my pocket.” 

Karl’s grandfather had left him an unexpected legacy when he’d died a few years ago, and Karl had gone in with a friend to buy a rundown hotel up in the Thessaly mountains. It had been tough for them initially, but now it all seemed to be finally paying off.

“Maybe you should come up here,” Karl went on. “Take a break from pounding the streets, chasing wrong-doers-”

Kara rolled her eyes, although she couldn’t deny a break sounded tempting. Maybe in a month or two, when summer was at its height and Caprica City unbearably hot, she might take him up on the offer.

They chatted for a few more minutes, and then Karl said, “I actually called because I need a favour.”

“Oh, here we go. I knew there would be an ulterior motive. Let me guess, what precious possession did you leave behind with your latest old flame?”

“Haha. It’s about one of our guests. He’s...gone missing.”

Kara straightened in her chair. “Missing?”

“Well, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic. He’s a reporter, writing some travel articles for one of those weekend newspapers...ten hidden gems of the Thessaly Alps, you know the kind of thing.”

“Um-hum. How long’s he been staying with you?”

“A couple of weeks. He’s been travelling around a lot obviously, researching, out long hours and even away overnight once or twice, so I wasn’t worried at first, but...it’s been three days now.”

“Was he in a car or on foot?”

“Car. He said he was going down to Piraeus, so I went there and looked around-- it’s not a particularly big place, but no sign of him or his car.”

“Maybe he wanted to get away without paying his bill.”

“Maybe...but he’s left a lot of stuff in his room, and...I didn’t get that feel from him, you know? He seemed like a genuine guy.”

Kara knew what he meant. If they’d both taken away one thing from their time as cops, it was a good bullshit detector.

“You’re worried, aren’t you.”

“Something just feels...off about the whole thing.”

“Have you contacted the local police?”

“Not yet. Zak doesn’t think we should. He says having the cops in will upset the guests and be bad publicity. He thinks the guy’s off on a bender and will stroll in any moment.”

“Sounds like Zak. Burying his head in the sand.” Kara rolled her eyes again. She liked Karl’s business partner, but there was no denying that Zak Adama was the type who liked to ignore problems rather than actually deal with them.

“Still...he might have a point. What if the guy has just popped home, or got an urgent work call, or-”

“I get the feeling that this is where I come in.” Kara grinned. “So he’s from Caprica City, then?”

“Yes. I’ve got his home and work address. I thought maybe you could pop round, see if he’s there, or if anyone’s heard from him in the last few days. If not, then I’ll call the police-”

“-and if he is back home, I’ll make sure he pays what he owes you,” said Kara.

“So you’ll do it?”

“Why not?” It would be a change of pace. “But you owe me one.”

“So what else is new?”

Kara laughed. “Give me the details then. What’s our missing man’s name?”

“William Keikeya. But he goes by Billy.”

\---

Billy Keikeya lived in a new housing estate on the edge of Caprica City, so new that the builders still had advertising boards up around the estate, and the roads were still a mix of dirt and tarmac. Road names and house numbers were also patchy, and Kara had to call in at the showhome for directions to the house. She fended off the sales pitch easily enough, but didn’t escape without a glossy brochure.

According to the brochure, Billy Keikeya’s house was the Acorn model, a perfect starter home. _ Perfect if you want close relations with your neighbours,  _ thought Kara, looking at the shared driveways, the narrow gap of sky showing between the walls of the houses, and the overlooked gardens. Not that she didn’t hear far too much from her neighbours through the thin walls of her own inner city flat, but at least it didn’t pretend to be anything but the cheap shithole that it was.

Kara knocked on the shiny green front door, a hollow sound that made her wonder how stable the whole house was. She wasn’t really expecting anyone to answer, so was taken aback when she saw a shadow through the frosted glass of the door, and heard a key turning in the lock.

It didn’t take any great detective skills to work out that the woman who opened the door wasn’t Billy Keikeya. She was dark-haired and pretty, with a firm mouth and wide green eyes that stared at Kara with a mixture of disappointment and trepidation.

“Can I help you?”

Kara pulled out her most charming smile. “I hope so. I’m looking for Billy Keikeya. Is this the right house? This place gets a bit confusing.” She turned up her smile, and after a moment, the woman cautiously smiled back.

“It’s the right house, but Billy’s not here at the moment. Why are you looking for him?”

Kara assessed her, noting the worry in those green eyes and the tension in the woman’s shoulders, and swiftly decided that truth would be the best tactic.

“I’m a private investigator. Kara Thrace.” She pulled out her licence and let the woman inspect it. “I’m here on behalf of the owners of the Galactica Hotel, up in the Thessaly Mountains. Billy had been staying there.”

“Yes, I know. He said it was very peaceful.” The woman passed back Kara’s licence, her face relaxing a little.

“Well, they haven’t seen him for a few days, and he’s left his stuff in the room, so they were concerned. He gave them this address when he checked in, so they asked me to come and see if he was here.”

“He isn’t.” The woman’s voice trembled. “I wish he was.”

Kara seized the opening. “Are you worried about him?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to tell me about it? Maybe I can help.”

The woman gave Kara a long, searching glance, and then nodded. “Maybe you can. Why don’t you come in. I’m Anastasia Dualla. Billy’s my boyfriend.”

\---

Anastasia offered Kara a coffee, and she accepted. It gave her time to look around the living room while Anastasia was making it in the kitchen.

There were several photos of Anastasia and a man who must be the missing Billy. Looking at his clear eyes and wide smile, Kara could see what Karl had meant when he said that Billy didn’t seem the type to abscond without paying his hotel bill. With that face, he could almost be a poster boy for an honest, stand-up guy.

The furnishings were of the quality she would expect from the owners of this type of house, identikit department store or second hand, and they had the usual electronic equipment. Nothing to indicate any unusual extra income.

A quick scan of the bookshelf proved interesting. Given Billy’s job, Kara expected travel books, but instead they were mostly politics and current affairs. She wondered if they were his or Anastasia’s, and picked one out to see if a name was written inside. Instead she found something more interesting; although the cover’s title was  _ The evolution of the Colonial political system _ , the book inside was Tom Zarek’s banned treatise.

Kara heard Anastasia returning and quickly pushed the book back.

“Looks like Billy’s interested in politics,” she said, turning around.

“Yes. He took the travel job at the  _ Guardian  _ as a way in, but he’d love to cover politics.”

“The _ Caprica Guardian _ ?” Kara took the mug of coffee. “Thanks, Anastasia.”

The woman pulled a face. “Oh gods, call me Dee. Everyone does.”

“So, Billy works at the  _ Caprica Guardian _ ? Good gig.” It was one of the three most popular newspapers on Caprica.

“He was over the moon when he got the job.” A flash of sadness on Dee’s face.

“How long has he been working there?”

“About nine months. This was his first big assignment.”

“Karl said he’d been staying at the Galactica for about two weeks.”

Dee nodded, sitting down on the sofa. Kara perched on an armchair opposite her.

“And you’d been in touch while he was away?”

“Yes. Phone signal’s patchy up there, so he mostly called when he was back at the hotel, but he rang every two or three days.”

“And now?”

“It’s been four.” Every muscle in Dee’s body was suddenly rigid. “It’s not like him.”

“You’re worried.”

Dee nodded again, her eyes moist. “At first I thought he was busy, or couldn’t get a signal, but I spent all day yesterday trying to call him, and it went straight to voicemail every time. I left messages, but he hasn’t replied, and...if Billy’s one thing, it’s considerate. He wouldn’t want me to worry. If he could, he’d have found some way to get in touch with me.”

Kara believed her. Of course, she’d met plenty of loyal and completely deluded girlfriends who insisted that their men would never lie to them or let them down, but this didn’t feel like that. If Billy was off with another woman, why rouse suspicions by going silent? And why abandon the hotel room with all his possessions? It didn’t add up.

“I thought something was wrong when I last spoke to him,” said Dee.

Kara started, jolted out of her thoughts. “What was wrong?”

Dee frowned. “I’m not sure exactly. It was...like he was upset, but not...not in a bad way. Almost like he was excited.”

“Excited? About what?”

“It was something to do with work. I remember he said he’d come across a story, and it could be a big one, but when I asked him about it, he said he’d rather wait and tell me in person.”

“Interesting. Can you remember anything else? Did he say where he was going the next day?”

“Not specifically. He said he was going for a hike to take some shots of the peaks, and I reminded him to leave his route with the hotel. He forgets that kind of thing when he gets engrossed in his work.”

Well, Billy obviously hadn’t done that.

“You said you were working for the hotel owner?”

“Yes. He’s an old friend.”

“But all he asked you to do was to come here and ask for Billy? So now you’ve done that, you won’t be doing any more?”

There was urgency in Dee’s voice, and Kara suddenly understood. “Do you want to hire me?”

“Yes. I’ll call the police today and report him missing, but they won’t do much. He’s a grown man. They’ll alert mountain rescue to start a search, but not much more.”

“You’re probably right there.” Sad but true. Billy did not fall into the high priority category of missing person. “So you want me to look for him?”

“I’d like you to go to the hotel and see what you can find out.” Dee sighed. “I’d go myself, but my mother’s in hospital at the moment, and I need to be close by, in case-”

“I understand.” Kara got down to business. She quoted Dee a price for the trip to the hotel and two days’ investigation, and gave her details of referees. “Here’s my number. If you’re happy when you’ve spoken to the referees and with the price, call me this evening to confirm and I’ll head up there tomorrow.”

She felt a spark of excitement. This was the first case that had caught her interest in a long time, and getting to see Karl again was a giant cherry on top.

\---

Kara left Dee’s house, already dialling Karl’s number. She’d told Dee to confirm later, but she was sure it would be positive. Dee was too worried not to do anything. Looking down at her phone, she walked into someone outside the front gate.

“Sorry.”

“You should keep your eyes on the street, not on your phone,” said a sharp feminine voice.

Kara looked up to see a slim and stylish blonde woman, wearing a perfectly pressed peach skirt and jacket. Her smooth face was marred by a frown of annoyance.

Kara apologised again, although secretly she felt anyone that poised deserved to be ruffled at least once a day.

The blonde woman put a hand on the gate Kara had just closed. 

“You know Dee?”

“Yes.” 

Kara cut the call to Karl. “Do you know her boyfriend? Billy Keikeya?”

“I work with him.” A level stare from under those plucked eyebrows. “What’s all this about?”

“I’m a private investigator, and I’m trying to get in touch with Billy.” Kara offered her card, and the woman took it impatiently. She glanced at it, and then up at Kara with a flash of surprise.

“Have you heard from Billy recently?”

The blonde woman paused, and then seemed to come to a decision. “Not for several days. No-one at the office has, and he isn’t answering his phone. We were starting to get concerned. He should have sent in his article for the weekend by now, and it’s not like Billy to miss a deadline. So I thought I would stop in on my way home, see if he was ill or something.”

“He’s not ill,” said Kara. “Dee hasn’t heard from him for a few days, so she’s worried too. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your visit, Ms…”

“Oh, call me Gina. Has Dee hired you to look for Billy?”

Kara nodded. “Do you know anything about what he was working on?”

“No. I cover fashion. Different department.”

“Well, can you ask your colleagues? If anyone knows anything that might be helpful, you have my number.”

Gina nodded. “I hope everything’s ok. Billy’s a lovely guy.”

She opened the gate, and Kara glimpsed her at the door of the house as she got into her car and pulled away. She rang Karl as she drove.

“No joy,” she said, when Karl asked if she’d found Billy. “His girlfriend’s worried, so she’s hired me to come up and take a look at his room. You got space for a weekend guest?”

Karl chuckled. “Only if you behave yourself. No trashing the joint.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“Yeah, we’ve got room. This weekend we’ve just got a few regulars for the fishing, party of schoolteachers...oh, and Zak’s brother’s coming up. It’ll be great to see you, Kara.”

“You too.”

“But bring your own booze. I can’t afford to run dry.”

Kara laughed as she told him exactly where to get off.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

_Virgon, ten years ago_

Lee’s into the last half hour of his shift at the bar when Gianne arrives and orders her usual glass of ambrosia.

There aren’t many customers left, so he begins to tidy up, drying glasses and wiping tables. Gianne chats to him as he moves about his tasks, and gradually Lee realises that she timed her visit so she could talk to him without interruption.

He sighs. It’s been a long day of lectures and a long evening of bartending. His body aches and his head throbs and all he wants to do is go home and sleep. He does not want to rehash the discussion - it wasn’t  _ quite _ an argument - that they had at the last CPE meeting.

After three months, however, he knows Gianne well enough to recognise the cool resolve in her eyes which signals that she will not be deterred. Suddenly Lee wants to get it over with, and he thumps a tray of glasses down on the bar in front of her, and breaks through her careful small talk.

“I’m not going to join the sit-in tomorrow.”

Gianne looks relieved at his bluntness. Maybe she’s tired too. She’s probably spent all day planning tomorrow’s protest, making signs and printing leaflets and gathering supporters. Although Robert, one of the third year students, is the official chair of the university branch of the CPE, Gianne is the driving force, even though she’s only a first year like Lee.

“Why not? I thought you believed in what our group is doing.”

“I do.” Lee hasn’t missed a meeting of the Campaign for Planetary Equality since Gianne first introduced him, and he’s spent more hours than he can really afford away from his studies, handing out leaflets and gathering signatures for petitions. “Citizens in the Colonies should have equal rights and equal opportunities, no matter which planet they come from. You know I believe in that as firmly as you do.”

“Then join the sit-in tomorrow.” The plan is to occupy the courtyard outside the main administration building, where the university chancellor and vice-chancellor have their offices. “Why don’t you want to?”

“It’s a big step up from handing out leaflets.” Lee decides to turn the question around. “Why is it so important to you that I be there? I know you’ve got at least forty people involved, how does one more make any difference?”

“Because the protest is about scholarships.” About the fact that the university allocates a proportion of scholarships to students from each colony, based on how much money that colony donates to the university. “It’s important that we have scholarship students there to show that they support our cause.”

Lee polishes a glass, stows it under the counter. “You’re a scholarship student. So are Bella and Justin.”

“Yes, but the change we’re proposing is to our advantage, because we’re all from poorer colonies. You’re from Caprica, so your support means more.” Gianne’s mouth twists wryly as she sees the look on Lee’s face. “Believe me, I find that as repugnant as you do, but it’s the way the world works, Lee. That’s why we have to change it.”

Lee puts down the next glass, deciding to tell her the truth. “That scholarship is precisely why I’m hesitating. It’s conditional on maintaining certain standards of conduct. You know that.”

“Of course I know that!” Gianne’s eyes flash impatiently. “Do you think I didn’t look into it myself? Sit-ins are a permitted form of democratic protest under university regulations. They can’t throw us out for that.”

“It’s still a risk.”

“For me maybe, but not for you.” The words whip out of Gianne’s mouth with a hint of contempt. “Let’s get real, Lee. If you lose your scholarship, it’s not like your dad can’t afford to pay the fees.”

“Oh yeah, my dad can afford to pay,” Lee shoots back with bitterness. “But he won’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dad had my life all planned out for me since I was a little kid. Fleet Academy, War College, officer on a battlestar. But he never bothered to consult me about it.” Lee wishes the words didn’t sound quite so petulant, but he can’t help it.

“And you didn’t want that.” Gianne is watching his face closely.

“No. When I refused to apply to Fleet Academy, he said I could study law if I wanted, but he wasn’t giving me any of his money once I turned eighteen. And he stuck to that, so I had to get a scholarship to cover my tuition fees.”

“And your job here-”

“Pays for my living expenses. Barely.” He’s had to choose between paying his rent and eating a few times, when tips have been low.

“I didn’t realise.” For the first time Lee can remember, Gianne is looking at him without a hint of mockery in her dark eyes. Instead there’s an expression that looks almost like respect. His heart speeds up in his chest.

“Your dad sounds like a prick.”

Lee can’t help laughing.

“No offence. My dad was a prick too, but he did a shitty job for shitty pay that killed him in the end, so I felt he had some excuse.” Gianne downs the rest of her drink and answers the enquiry in Lee’s face. “Miner. Buried in a pit collapse that some simple safety procedures could have prevented, but the company cut corners to save money, and our beloved government did frak all to punish them.”

“How old were you?”

“Eleven. That’s when I decided I had to do something to change things. It’s not enough to sit and talk about how bad things are. You have to stand up and be counted.” Lee is caught by the passion in her face. “Which is why I’m joining the protest tomorrow, no matter the risk to my scholarship.”

When she puts it like that, Lee is ashamed of himself. She’s right. Of course she’s right. How can he claim to be a supporter of equal rights, a fighter for the cause, if he’s not prepared to take a personal risk?

“I’ll do it.” The words come out of his mouth without conscious thought. “I’ll join the sit-in.”

Gianne’s face lights up, and she leans forward and kisses him. It’s soft and sweet, and takes Lee completely off-guard. When she pulls back, all he can do is stare at her blankly, while she laughs at him.

“Looks like I was right not to wait for you to make the first move.”

That sting to his pride pushes Lee into action. This time he kisses her and makes it long and heated. When a whistle from his fellow bartender separates them, Lee is pleased to see that Gianne’s cheeks are flushed and her breathing unsteady. Not that he’s much better. He’s been wanting this desperately for a long time now.

“When does your shift finish?”

“Five minutes.”

Gianne smiles at him with a promise that sends a flash of heat straight down his body. “Then I’ll wait and walk you home.”


	4. Chapter 4

_ Caprica, Present Day _

Kara enjoyed the drive to the Thessaly Mountains. She loved the city, but she didn’t miss the traffic. It was a treat to be able to open up the car’s speed on the long empty roads, enjoying the speed and rush of adrenalin.

She had to slow down as the roads climbed up into the mountains and got narrower and steeper, with dizzying drops and hairpin bends, but the views compensated for that. Pine-clad slopes, rushing streams, rich green valleys, and rising above them all, the rocky snow-capped peaks. At one point she pulled over to feast her eyes on a particularly magnificent view while she crunched on a cereal bar. It didn’t do much to fill her stomach, but she’d get dinner at the hotel, and Zak’s cooking was worth waiting for.

As Kara resumed her journey, she understood why Karl had moved up here. She’d never do it herself; she loved the hustle of the city and this place, beautiful though it was, would bore her to tears in a week - but she could see the appeal.

It was mid-afternoon when she spotted the sign for the hotel, just past the village of Piraeus.

_ Hotel Galactica _ . 

Kara snorted, finding the name as ridiculous now as she had when Karl first told her. Who named a hotel after a battlestar?

“It’ll help us stand out,” Karl had claimed. “Every hotel up there is named after a god or a mythical character - it’s all Athenas and Apollos and Heracles and Ariadnes. Galactica will be different and memorable.”

It was the name of the battlestar that Zak’s father commanded. Apparently Zak thought it might sweeten the blow of his son training as a chef and sinking the compensation money from the accident that invalided him out of the fleet into buying half a rundown hotel. 

Kara had no idea if that had worked or not. It wouldn’t have worked on her mother. For her it had been the fleet or nothing. If her mother hadn’t died in her last year at school, Kara would never have been allowed to join the police force.

The rambling wooden building was built in the traditional mountain style, with a steep sloping roof and balconies across the almost triangular frontage. It was looking in better shape than the last time Kara had seen it nine months ago. The wood had been freshly stained, the signs painted, and flowers planted along each balcony.

As Kara got out of her car, the woman who was probably responsible for most of these changes appeared in the doorway of the hotel. Zak ran the kitchen, and Karl ran the bar and the reception and charmed the guests, but Meg Edmondson, Zak’s girlfriend, ran pretty much every other aspect of the hotel. Kara hoped that the guys realised how screwed they would be without her.

“Kara! Great to see you!” Meg moved forward as if to hug her, looked at Kara’s face, and restricted herself to a beaming smile. “It’s been too long.”

“Certainly has. The place looks great,” said Kara, grinning back. She really did like Meg, she just didn’t like the trend for hugging everyone you met nowadays. What was wrong with a good old fashioned handshake or a slap on the back? 

“Thanks. It’s been a good winter.” Meg tucked a few strands of straying dark hair back in her practical ponytail. “If we have a good summer too, we might even turn a profit.”

Kara laughed, and turned to get her bag out of the car. “Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that your missing guest’s girlfriend has commissioned me to settle up his account on her behalf.”

Meg sighed, her eyes darkening. “That is good news, but I just hope he turns up safely. He’s a really nice guy. If he’s out on the mountain somewhere and hurt...it’s been five days. That’s a long time to be out in the open, even if Mountain Rescue find him.”

“I’ll have a look through his room,” said Kara. “Maybe that will give a clue.”

“I hope so.” Meg shook her worries away. “Come on. Let’s go and tell the guys you’re here, and then I’ll show you to your room.”

\---

There was no avoiding a welcoming hug from Karl. Kara had resigned herself to that fact years ago. Karl was that kind of guy, and if you were his friend you had to accept being hugged. Secretly Kara didn’t mind it from him.

He proceeded to show off the lounge and dining room - which like the outside of the hotel, had been recently decorated, and was in much better shape than when Kara had last seen it - while Meg went into the kitchen to find Zak.

Zak looked pleased to see Kara, but then stood there with an abstracted frown while Karl joked about putting her in the worst room, and Meg told her that she must try Zak’s steak pie this evening, it was his newest dish and everyone loved it. Zak responded to Meg’s praise with an embarrassed smile, and then muttered that he had lots to do and retreated back to his kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” said Meg, watching him go with concern. “It’s not one of his better days.”

“Don’t worry,” said Kara. “I know what Zak’s like. I’m sure he’ll be in a good mood later.”

He would probably be the life and soul of the party. She’d known Zak long enough not to be disconcerted by his sudden switches from morose silence to talkative charm.

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” said Karl. “His brother will be here, and that always seems to end up in an argument. I wonder why they still bother to see each other sometimes.”

“Well, you should stop wondering,” snapped Meg, her eyes suddenly hard, “because you know nothing about it.” She swung round and followed Zak into the kitchen.

Kara and Karl were left staring at each other. It wasn’t like Meg to be so sharp.

“Looks like I put my foot in it.”

“No kidding,” said Kara. “Maybe you should stick it in your mouth next time.”

Karl’s returning insult was interrupted by the sound of the outside door opening. A small group of people entered reception, laden with an assortment of bags, including some that obviously held fishing gear. This must be the party of schoolteachers Karl had mentioned. 

“Mr Agathon.” A red haired woman stepped forward with a charming smile. “It’s so lovely to be back here again.”

“Lovely to have you all back here, Ms Roslin. And please, call me Karl. Now, let’s get you checked in.”

Karl moved behind the reception desk, and beckoned Kara over to give her two keys.

“Room 15 is yours, Room 11 was our reporter friend’s,” he murmured.

Kara simply nodded, aware of Ms Roslin’s keen eyes looking at her with interest, and headed upstairs.

\---

Kara’s search of Billy Keikeya’s room yielded little at first. There was no sign of a phone or a laptop; he must have taken both with him when he left. There was a notebook, but it contained only jottings for his travel articles, notes of names and dates and places. 

She noted that his toothbrush and deodorant and shaver were still in the bathroom, which implied that he hadn’t expected to be gone very long. An accident of some kind was beginning to look more likely. She must ask Karl if there had been any reports from Mountain Rescue.

Having finished her initial search of the room and found nothing, Kara began again. This time she used all the tips and tricks she had picked up in her years as a cop, sliding under the bed to see if anything had been hidden underneath, checking the cracks around the skirting boards, lifting up the carpet, unscrewing the bottom of the desk lamp...and it was in the lamp that she found something. 

A memory stick.

\---

It was password protected, of course. 

Kara knew someone who could break it for her, but he was back in Caprica City and she would no doubt be calling him for favours soon enough anyway, so first she tried calling Dee, to see if she knew what the password might be.

Dee had some suggestions, and one of them worked. Kara thanked the Lords of Kobol that Billy was not someone who used proper cyber security precautions. After a few words with Dee, telling her what she’d found so far and trying to sound reassuring, she rang off and looked through the contents of the drive.

Photos. Lots of photos.

Most of them were obviously taken as shots to accompany Billy’s articles, and they were good; he obviously knew what he was doing with a camera. Kara recognised some of the places from trips she’d taken with Karl on previous visits to the Thessaly alps, or pictures in tourist brochures.

There were a few photos of people in the hotel; Karl behind the bar, Meg watering the flowers on a balcony, even Zak sitting on the back steps outside the kitchen smoking, a relaxed smile on his face. Some of guests drinking in the lounge, but Kara didn’t recognise any of the faces. 

The photos taken out of the hotel on Billy’s travels also included a few people, mostly fellow walkers, although there was one of a striking red haired woman in a park ranger’s uniform, and another of a burly man leaning over a car engine.

The final photos in the sequence showed a short, wiry man with hair starting to grey, framed in the doorway of a wooden cabin. He wasn’t looking at the camera, but off to his left; it wasn’t entirely clear if he knew the camera was there.

The photos didn’t seem important, but something in them had to be, to make them worth hiding in the bottom of a desk lamp, which Kara felt was not the usual practice among travel journalists.

\---

Kara caught Karl before the guests started to appear for dinner, and got him to look through the photos. He knew the names of most of the hotel guests, and Kara noted them down. The park ranger was Jean Barolay, and the man fixing the car was Galen Tyrol, who ran the village garage in Piraeus. He didn’t recognise the man in the final two photos.

“I know where that cabin is, though. It’s on our property, a couple of miles farther up the mountain.”

“Do you rent it out to guests?”

“No. Zak’s brother has the use of it, actually. He has a small stake in the hotel; he chipped in with the last bit of money we needed to buy it, and he asked if he could have the cabin. He stays up there in the summer, when he needs a break from the city.”

“So he might know who this man is.” Kara frowned, remembering their conversation yesterday. “Didn’t you say he was coming up this weekend?”

“Yes. He always visits at the end of the month to do our accounts. I think he’s driving here tonight. I’ll check.” 

They were sitting at one of the tables in the dining room, near the kitchen door, so Karl simply bellowed Zak’s name.

Zak poked his head through the swing doors, red-faced and irritated. “What?”

“Your brother. When’s he arriving?”

“Leland? He sent me a text when he left the city. He’ll be here in an hour or so. Is that all?”

Karl grinned. “Yes thank you, chef.”

Zak sighed ostentatiously, but he was smiling as he disappeared back to his kitchen.

“There you are, Kara. Our accountant will be here shortly, and you can question him at your leisure.” Karl’s grin reappeared, with a mocking edge. “Or should that be at your pleasure?”

“What are you getting at, Karl?”

“Just that you seemed to enjoy Zak’s brother’s company the last time you met him.” Karl’s eyes were dancing wickedly. “As I recall, you spent most of the evening hitting on him.” 

Kara’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“To be fair, you were very drunk.”

“What are you talking about? When did I meet Zak’s brother?”

“You really don’t remember?” Karl couldn’t hide his glee at her baffled reaction. “Well, as I said, you were very drunk.”

That didn’t exactly narrow it down. Kara racked her brains, but she couldn’t remember meeting Zak’s brother.

“When was it?”

“My 25th birthday. You remember the guys threw me a party at that bar in Caprica City-”

“Joe’s Bar.” Kara forced the words out of a throat that had suddenly gone dry.

“So you  _ do _ remember.”

“It was a cop party. They’re always at Joe’s Bar,” Kara said automatically, fighting down the sick feeling gathering in her stomach. 

“We’d just bought the hotel, so I invited the two of them along.”

_ Oh gods. This cannot be going where I think it is _ . 

Kara struggled to find her voice. “What did Zak say his brother’s name was? Leland?”

Karl chuckled. “Only Zak gets away with calling him that. He goes by Lee.”

There was a buzzing noise in Kara’s ears, and she suddenly felt light-headed.

“Lee?”

“Do you remember him now? Serious face, uptight manner? He’s a nice enough guy, but a dull stick. Not really your type, but as I said…”

“I was very drunk. Yeah, I think I remember him. Hazily.”

Kara hoped she sounded casual enough to be convincing. As if the last time she had seen the guy who now turned out to be Zak’s brother had really been two years ago at Karl’s birthday party. 

Instead of three weeks ago, when she’d frakked him in a motel room.

\---

Kara had to escape outside for a smoke, while she tried to get her scrambled head together.

It shouldn’t be an issue. This thing she had with Lee...well, it wasn’t even a thing, that was the whole point. 

Which was why she’d frakked him twelve...no, thirteen times, but never bothered to find out his full name. Or what he did for a living. Or why he’d been at Karl’s birthday party in the first place. 

All Kara had been concerned with, that evening they’d first met, was making sure that Lee wasn’t a cop. Once satisfied on that point, she’d towed him out of Joe’s Bar, and they’d ended up at a motel down the street, tearing off their clothes and frakking each others’ brains out. 

It still confused her. As Karl had said, Lee wasn’t her usual type. However, as Karl had also said, she had been very drunk that night. It hadn’t been long after she’d been kicked out of the force, and being in that bar with all her ex-colleagues, knowing everyone was whispering behind her back...it surprised her that the worst she’d done was get drunk and frak a stranger.

It hadn’t been her first one night stand, by a long way. She often preferred it to anything more substantial; she liked to keep her relationships easy and casual. But this time...this time when she got dressed and walked out of the motel room afterwards, she left Lee her number. 

Two years later, Kara still wasn’t sure why. Yeah, the sex had been good...well, mindblowing...and yeah, he’d made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious either, which took a lot of pressure off...and yeah, she liked his dry line in humour...and yeah, he was really hot and had blue eyes she could drown in, but still…

Whatever the reason, she left her number, and a couple of months later he called her, and they met at another motel, and...and somehow it had developed into a thing. 

Or not a thing. Whatever. 

Every couple of months Lee would call, and they’d agree an evening to meet, and he’d book a motel room. They’d meet there early evening, have a few beers and watch TV, spend the night frakking, and then sometime in the pre-dawn hours she’d leave and go back home. 

That was it. They’d never met outside a motel room. Never talked about their lives, or families, or anything personal. It was easy and casual, just the way she liked it.

Until now. Until suddenly Lee was in the middle of her investigation, and she hadn’t even realised because she hadn’t asked him enough questions. He’d be here in an hour, and she would have to pretend she’d only met him once before, because she couldn’t bear to think of the smug look on Karl’s face if he realised what was going on between them. 

She couldn’t even call Lee and warn him to keep his mouth shut, because he always masked his caller ID, and she’d always been too stubborn to ask him for his number.

It figured. Everything she’d ever done in her life had come around to bite her on the ass at some point. Why should this be any different?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, nothing important going on between Kara and Lee. Not a thing.


	5. Chapter 5

_ Virgon, nine years ago. _

“She’s drinking again,” says Zak.

Lee doesn’t insult him by asking if he’s sure, although his heart sinks. It’s been a year and a half since he left Caprica, and everything’s been fine, and he was beginning to hope that maybe his mother’s promises were finally reliable.

He tells Zak where to look for the bottles. It’s a long list.

“Can you...will you come home? For the break?” Zak’s been doing so well sounding cool and capable, but his voice trembles on the last words, and bile rises up in Lee’s throat. Zak shouldn’t have to be dealing with this, damn it. He’s only seventeen.

“I’ll try,” he says, even though he knows there’s no way he can afford the ticket. He only made it home last summer because his mother paid half, and all her money will be going on booze now.

“Why couldn’t you go to university on Caprica?”

“Because I didn’t get a scholarship on Caprica.” The silence makes Lee feel defensive. “Zak, even if I’d done what Dad wanted, I’d be on Picon.”

_ But he would have paid for you to come home.  _

Zak doesn’t say the words, but Lee can hear them. 

When Zak hangs up, Lee makes another call. He has to look up the number, because he swore he’d never use it.

His father is obviously surprised to hear from him, but he sounds more open than Lee expects, almost approachable. Unfortunately, it soon becomes clear that’s because he thinks Lee is ringing to say he’s seen the error of his ways and does want to join the fleet after all.

Things deteriorate quickly from there. His father will not pay for him to go home.

“I meant what I said, Lee. You have to stand on your own feet. I don’t go back on my word.”

“Fine.” Lee thinks about Zak, trying to keep calm, and forces himself to try another option. “Can you go to Caprica, then? Zak needs someone.”

“I don’t think that’s the case. I spoke to him last week, and he’s fine. His grades are good, and his team are going to reach the finals this year-”

“This isn’t about school, or sport. It’s about Mom.”

“What do you mean?”

Lee can tell from the tone in which that sentence is uttered that this is doomed to failure, but he has to try.

“She’s drinking again.”

“Lee, we’ve been through this. Your mother doesn’t have a drink problem.”

“How would you know? You haven’t lived with her for years!” Lee can’t keep the venom out of his tone.

“I know, and I’m sorry for that. It’s been incredibly hard for your mother, raising you both on her own. I don’t think you really understand how much of a strain it’s been on her. I don’t think you will be able to understand, until you have children of your own. If she needs a few drinks to ease the strain...I can’t blame her for it, Lee, and you shouldn’t either.”

“It’s not a few drinks!” 

Lee hurls out the words and then falls silent, struggling for calm. This won’t help. He’s tried to tell his father all this before. How much his mother drinks, how out-of-control she gets, how she hides away when it all crashes down until the cycle starts again. It never works. His father won’t listen to anything that tarnishes the shiny image of the woman he loved.

He takes a long, steadying breath. “Look Dad, never mind. What matters is Zak. I’m worried about him. Can you go and see him?”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary. I can’t go right now anyway, we’re about to go to the Priam Nebula for training exercises. But I’ll call him before I go.”

Lee jabs the disconnect button. He nearly hurls the phone into the wall before he remembers he can’t afford to replace it, and uses his fist instead.

“Lee?”

Gianne comes into the room. She looks at his hand, frowning, and Lee realises blood is sprouting across his knuckles.

“What’s wrong?” She follows him to the sink as he runs his hand under the tap, relishing the sting of the cold water.

“Family crap. Nothing new.” He dries his hand carefully. “Not worth talking about.”

Lee can feel her eyes on him, and expects her to ask more questions, but she doesn’t. She leaves the room, and comes back a few minutes later, wearing a jacket and carrying a black hold-all.

“Come out with me.” 

Lee stares at her. “Now? It’s nearly midnight.”

“Now. Come on. It’ll do you more good than sitting here and brooding.” She tosses his shoes into his lap.

Lee wants to refuse, but he knows he won’t sleep yet, he’s too keyed up. So he puts on his shoes and follows Gianne out into the dark.

They walk for some time, twisting and turning through the city streets until they reach the main university administration building. Gianne leads him around the back, and finally stops in front of a blank wall.

“What are we doing here?” 

Gianne puts down the bag she’s carrying, unzips it and steps back. She gestures for him to look inside.

It’s full of spray paint. Lee looks up at her, and she smiles, nods across to the blank wall.

Lee’s eyes widen. “No.”

“Why not? It’ll help you wind down. Don’t worry, there aren’t any cameras here. I checked.”

Lee blinks at the implications of that reassurance, but lets it pass. He watches, frozen, as Gianne pulls two paint cans out of the bag. She tosses one to him and he catches it reflexively.

Gianne starts spraying paint on the wall in giant colourful letters. She sprays the word equality, then grabs another colour. 

“Come on, Lee, give it a try. Relax and let it all out for once.” She grins. “Pretend it’s your dad’s face.”

The mention of his father stirs up all the emotions boiling in his head, all the anger and frustration and helplessness, and Lee squirts the paint on the wall. He writes a word, then another and another, obliterating all that relentless empty space with colour and emotion. 

Time blurs. Nothing registers until Lee realises that there’s no more white space, the wall is covered, and hears Gianne laughing.

“Feel better?”

Lee stares at the wall, covered with the words and symbols of rebellion and freedom and defiance, and for the first time since he spoke to Zak, the tightness in his chest eases. He can breathe freely again.

“Yes.”

“Good. This will finish it off.”

“What?”

Gianne laughs, low and mischievous. She bends down and picks up a piece of brick from the edge of the alleyway, passes another to him. She turns to face the window at the end of the wall.

The hairs on the back of Lee’s neck rise, but it doesn’t feel entirely unpleasant.

“Gianne, no. We can’t.” 

But they can. They can, and he wants to, can already feel the satisfaction of the glass breaking.

“We’ll do it together,” Gianne says, grabbing his free hand, and squeezing it. They throw in unison, the bricks arcing through the air to crash into the glass, and the sound of it shattering is every bit as satisfying as Lee had imagined.

An alarm blares, a red light flashing above them, and they grab the bag of cans and run out of the alley, hands still locked together.

They run hard until they’re breathless, until they can’t hear the alarm any more. No-one catches them.

They stop in a doorway, laughing and gasping for breath, and Lee kisses her. The world is bright and sharp and clear. His heart is pounding and his blood is thrumming and he feels as if he can do anything, no restraints or limits to confine him, no guilt or obligations to drag him down.

“Doesn’t that feel better?” Gianne murmurs into his neck. “Letting it all out. Striking back.”

Lee has to agree.


	6. Chapter 6

_ Caprica, present day _

Lee usually looked forward to Friday evenings. Work done for the week, and he didn’t have to see any of his colleagues for two whole days. He’d either meet friends for a drink, or have a takeaway at home in front of the TV.

Except the last Friday of every month, when he travelled up to the Galactica Hotel. Weekends there were never a break from anything.

Lee sighed as he left the last of the city traffic behind and pulled onto the long straight road towards the mountains, keeping carefully to the speed limit. He looked at his phone, thinking wistfully of the woman he would really like to spend his Friday night with.

It was too soon to call Kara though, even if he hadn’t been going out of the city for the weekend. It was only three weeks since he’d seen her, and Lee had set himself a strict rule to wait at least five weeks between calls. Even then, every time he called he expected her to turn him down. A woman like her must have far better offers than the occasional night in a motel room. Amazingly, so far she’d always agreed to see him, but Lee knew it couldn’t last forever. 

His phone rang, the screen showing unknown caller. Lee tensed as he pressed the button on the steering wheel to answer the call, knowing who it would be before the familiar voice spoke.

“Grey’s not your colour,” she said.

Lee looked down at his shirt before he could stop himself. “How do you know I’m wearing grey?”

“You have to be. Accountant’s uniform.”

“Can’t resist an accountant joke, can you?”

Her laugh came rich and low over the line. “You’re the one wearing grey.”

Lee sighed. “What do you want?”

“I need you to stop and collect a package for me. It’s only a few miles out of your way.”

“At least half an hour detour, then.”

“Don’t be so cynical,” she scolded, but when she gave him the address, his estimate had been fairly accurate.

“Bring it along tomorrow.”

“Usual time?”

“Yes. I’ll let you know if it changes. And don’t wear grey.”

She cut the call abruptly, as she always did.

\---

The detour to collect the package took closer to forty minutes, and when Lee got back on the road towards Piraeus, he was not surprised when his phone rang again.

“Hey, Meg.”

“Lee. Everything okay? We were expecting you an hour ago.”

“I’m sorry. I got caught in traffic.” The lie slipped out easy as breathing. “Zak’s fuming because I’m late for dinner, isn’t he?”

“You know his food shouldn’t be kept waiting,” said Meg, with affectionate mockery. “But don’t worry, I saved you some. Just reheat it out of his sight.”

Lee laughed. “You’re too good to me, Meg.”

“What can I say? I have a soft spot for Adamas.” Lee drifted for a moment in the comfort of her voice, of the old familiar banter. He’d known Meg most of his life; they’d grown up on the same street, had been friends even before she started dating Zak. She was one of the few people with whom he allowed himself to relax.

“How is Zak?” 

“Much as usual. He’s had a good week.”

“Hope I don’t ruin it, then.”

“Lee. He’s always glad to see you, even if he doesn’t show it.”

A lie, but she meant it kindly, so Lee let it pass without comment. To be honest, he counted it a victory that Zak allowed him to visit at all. If their places had been reversed, Lee wouldn’t have.

“Have you got many people staying this weekend?”

“We’re two thirds full. A few walkers. The teachers are here, so you’ll have fishing buddies. Oh, and Kara’s here.”

Lee’s heart jumped into his mouth. “Kara?”

“Kara Thrace. Karl’s friend, they were cops together. You’ve met her, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He made it light, casual. “She’s a PI now, isn’t she?”

He knew she was. He knew where her office was, and what her biggest cases had been. Lee had made it his business to find out as much as he could about Kara Thrace after the third time they’d slept together, when he’d admitted to himself that it was more than a casual frak, that he wanted to keep seeing her for as long as she’d let him.

“That’s why she’s up here,” said Meg. “One of our guests disappeared, and she’s looking into it.”

Lee frowned. “Disappeared?”

“A journalist from the city. Went out one day and didn’t come back. Left all his stuff here. Mountain Rescue are looking for him, but his girlfriend asked Kara to look into it too. She’s got some photos she wants to ask you about.”

“Photos?”

“Some guy outside your cabin.”

Lee’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Sounds interesting. Like being in a detective novel,” he said, making sure the humour resonated in his voice.

Meg laughed. “Only the best entertainment at the Galactica.”

\---

The Galactica. Lee scowled at the sign as he parked outside the hotel. He knew Zak had chosen the name as much to annoy him as to appease their father. He knew that, and he still couldn’t stop the automatic flare of irritation, which pissed him off even more.

Music and laughter gusted out from the hotel bar as Lee closed the outer door behind him. One laugh, low and husky, rose above the rest, and Lee’s stomach tightened. The bar was crowded, a sea of closely-packed people, but as he stood in the doorway, he found his gaze locking instantly on one blonde head, like an arrow sighting its target.

“Lee!”

Meg appeared in front of him, easy grin and warm hug. She helped him stow his bag behind the reception desk and gave him the key to his usual room, then took him through the staff door into the kitchen to warm him up some food.

“I’d better get back to help Karl with the bar,” she said when he was settled. “People will start to drift upstairs soon, we can talk then.”

Lee didn’t mind. He was too hungry for talking, and he’d polished off most of his pie when the kitchen doors creaked open a few minutes later to admit his brother.

“This is your best pie yet, Zak,” he said, between mouthfuls.

Zak leaned against the scrubbed metal counter, cradling a bottle of beer. “It tasted better fresh out the oven.”

“Sorry I was late. You know how it is.”

“Oh, I know how it is. Always something more important going on in your life, isn’t there, Lee?”

Lee didn’t react to the bitter lash of his brother’s words. He’d accepted that burden years ago.

“Meg said you’ve had trouble here. A missing reporter?”

“Oh, that.” Zak laughed scornfully. “Some inexperienced fool who got himself lost on the mountain, that’s all there is to it. Karl had to turn it into some big deal though. Any excuse to play at being a cop again, and relive the old days with Kara.”

“So, nothing to worry about then?”

“Nothing at all. Kara arranged to get our bill paid, so we haven’t lost any money. I’m sure the guy will turn up fine, if a little cold and wet.”

Zak laughed again, with an edge that made Lee shift in his chair. He watched his brother closely as he lifted his beer bottle. 

“Lee. Stop it.” Zak’s eyes were focused on him with a cold precision that made Lee revise his assumptions.

He raised his hands. “Zak, I wasn’t-” 

“Yes, you were, and you can go frak yourself.”

Lee held still under his brother’s furious gaze, feeling the old familiar helplessness at the gap yawning between them and the impossibility of crossing it.

The kitchen door creaked again, as Karl entered. Lee could see in his quick glance that he sensed the tension between them, and he brushed it away with his usual skill, greeting Lee and teasing Zak, and sweeping both of them away from the barren isolation of the kitchen into the warm company of the bar.

The room was quieter now. Most of the locals had left, only a few hotel guests lingering, and Kara was sitting at a round table by the window, staring out into the darkness as she sipped her beer.

Karl led them towards her. Lee realised his hands were trembling, so he shoved them in the pockets of his suit jacket and forced himself to breathe evenly. 

“Lee, you remember Kara, don’t you?” said Karl, sliding onto the seat next to her. “She definitely remembers you.”

The comment earned him a glare from Kara. Lee wondered if Karl knew about them, but decided that his grin wasn’t obnoxious enough.

He murmured a polite hello, and took an empty chair. It put him opposite Kara, which was good because he got to look at her, and bad because the first thought that crossed his mind was that he wasn’t used to seeing her fully clothed, and godsdamnit he shouldn’t be thinking about that right now, he needed to focus…

“Lee?” 

He turned towards his brother thankfully. “Yes?”

“Kara was asking you a question.” Zak’s lips were twitching.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He looked towards Kara, and found her ripe with irritation. “What was it?”

“Nothing worth repeating a third time.” Kara rolled her eyes. “Guess Zak got all the social skills in your family.”

Her tone was just cutting enough to cross the line into insulting. Lee grinned internally, acknowledging the hit, but Karl stared at her in surprise.

“Kara-!”

“They both missed out on the sense of humour.” It was Meg, to Lee’s intense relief, and he moved his chair along so she could sit next to Zak, away from the temptation to stare at Kara.

“You can’t have a sense of humour as an accountant. It’s a contractual obligation.”

“And chefs are expected to be intense and temperamental.” Zak grinned, and his eyes met Lee’s in a rare moment of accord.

“Maybe you should come fishing with me tomorrow,” Lee dared to joke. “That might soothe your temperament.”

Zak snorted. “Standing knee deep in freezing water, waiting for hours for a fish to tug on my line...yeah, sounds incredibly soothing.”

“Enjoying the beauty of the outdoors, pitting your skills against nature-”

“And then if I catch a fish, I don’t even get to cook it, because I have to throw it straight back! I don’t get the appeal.”

“Me neither.” Lee turned to find Kara’s eyes on his face, lit with a challenging spark. “Sounds like a very...accountant hobby.” Again there was that sharp edge to her voice,

“By which you mean it requires concentration and perseverance,” Lee said, and he couldn’t keep in the surge of affection that flooded through him this time. It broke through in a smile.

Kara went completely still for a moment. A soft pink flush spread across her face, much to Lee’s surprise. Kara wasn’t usually easily disconcerted. 

“Not exactly what I meant,” she said, recovering herself with a smirk, and took a long swig from her beer bottle.

“Come on Kara, let’s leave the accountant jokes,” said Karl, elbowing her in the side. “I’m sure Lee hears enough of them.”

“Mostly from you,” Zak muttered into his glass.

Karl ignored him with lofty ostentation. “You wanted Lee to look at that photo, didn’t you, Kara?”

“Sure.” Kara picked up a small laptop that had been lying on the bench next to her, and flipped it open. “Let me find it. Did you tell Lee what it’s about?”

“Meg filled me in.” Lee couldn’t resist making a dig back at her. “A missing hotel guest sounds a little small time. I would have thought you’d have more important cases taking up your attention.”

Kara’s brows lowered, but she didn’t look up from the screen. “It’s important to his girlfriend.”

_ Well, that put me in my place _ , Lee thought ruefully, as she swung the laptop around.

“This is the guy.”

Lee looked at the photo, and it took every atom of his skill and experience not to react to the sight. 

Ever since Meg mentioned the photo, he’d been telling himself that it would turn out to be nothing, that there was no reason to worry.

Frak that.

This photo was a huge problem, and even worse were the consequent implications behind the photographer’s disappearance. Lee wished he hadn’t joked about it.

His mind raced through plans of action as he looked at the man on the screen with calm, careful attention, and then shook his head.

“Sorry, I don’t know him.”

Kara looked disappointed. “Are you sure? Karl said it’s your cabin in the photo.”

“I’m sure. And yes, I do use the cabin in the summer, but I let the Park Ranger service use it in the winter. They store supplies and equipment there and use it for training sessions. Maybe that man was with them.”

“Maybe.” Kara frowned thoughtfully. “Would you mind if I went up there tomorrow? Took a look around?”

“Not at all. You’ll have to get the key from Jean, though; I’ll let her know you’ll be coming. You can see if she recognises him.”

“Jean?”

“Our local park ranger,” said Zak. “She was in the photos too - the redhead?”

“Oh yeah. I’ll ask around other people in the village tomorrow too.”

“No rest for the wicked,” said Karl, ruffling her hair, and Kara elbowed him again.

Lee closed the lid of the laptop, his mind racing.

\---

It was well after midnight when they all went to bed. Lee swapped his suit for t-shirt and sweatpants, cleaned his teeth, waited twenty minutes for Karl to finish locking up and climb to his room on the top floor, and then slipped quietly along the darkened corridors to knock on the door of Kara’s room.

She didn’t look surprised to see him when she opened the door, but she didn’t look pleased either. Lee shrugged off any hurt he might feel. He didn’t have time for it.

“Can I come in?”

Kara glanced up and down the corridor and nodded, moving aside.

“I thought maybe we should talk,” said Lee, turning to face her. “Clear the air.”

He would have sat down, but the only chair was covered with a notebook, cast off socks and chocolate bar wrappers. 

Kara leaned back against the closed door, staring down at her feet.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“About what?”

“Mouthing off downstairs. It was just...I wasn’t expecting to see you.” She sounded angry that he’d had the temerity to show up.

“Well, you must have known it was a possibility. Coming to my brother’s hotel.” It came out sharper than Lee had meant.

“I didn’t realise Zak was your brother.”

“What? How could you not-?”

Kara finally looked up, treating him to her familiar glare. “Well, the two of you don’t look much alike! How was I supposed to know?”

“I told you! That first night.”

“Did you?”

“Yes!” But Lee’s certainty ebbed in the face of her challenge. “I’m sure I did…”

“Maybe you did.” Kara looked suddenly weary. “I may have forgotten. I’d had a lot to drink.”

“Maybe I’m remembering wrong. I was pretty drunk too.” He must have been. It's the only way Lee could explain why he threw caution to the wind that evening by following a complete stranger out of a bar and frakking her in a motel room. He’d never done anything like that before. It’s not his style.

Nor could he explain why he found himself calling her five weeks later. And five weeks after that. And after that...and on and on, caution be damned.

“Does Karl know? About us?” Lee was pretty sure he knew the answer, and Kara’s shake of the head confirmed it.

“What about Zak and Meg?” she asked in return.

“No. I assume you want to keep it that way?”

“I think it’s simpler.”

Lee indulged himself by taking a long look at her, drinking her in as he hadn’t dared to under the eyes of others in the bar. The long powerful lines of her athletic body, the soft fall of her hair, the vivid spark of her restless eyes, the jagged edge to her smile...he didn’t understand why the combination always drew him so powerfully.

“I’d better go,” he said, reluctantly tearing his eyes away. “I’ve got an early start fishing.”

He took two steps towards the door, but Kara didn’t move aside. She stood still, watching him, a smirk spreading across her face.

“Lee.” Her eyes darkened, focused on his mouth, and Lee lost his breath. “Did you really come here just to talk?”

“No,” he admitted. He closed the distance between them and backed her into the door. 

Kara laughed as his lips fastened hungrily on hers.

\---

Later, much later, when Lee had made sure she was fast asleep, he slipped carefully out of the bed, and picked up her laptop.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos or comments. You're all stars!


	7. Chapter 7

_ Virgon, nine years ago _

Lee wants to dislike Mark Leroux when he first starts coming to CPE meetings.

Lee wants to dislike Mark because he’s older than the rest of them, a graduate in the second year of his PhD. He expects Mark to swan around acting like he’s too important to do any grunt work, like some of the final year undergrads do. Instead Mark sees they’re running behind and pitches in, folding leaflets for the next day’s rally for two hours without complaint, and even shames some of the disdainful final years into helping out.

Lee wants to dislike Mark because when the committee elections come up a few months later, Mark is elected chair. The trouble is, Mark deserves the position. He was on the committee of his regional CPE back on Sagittaron, and he’s a good organiser. With him in charge, meetings take half the time and are twice as focused, and they’re taking part in a rally or debate or petition nearly every weekend.

Lee wants to dislike Mark because he’s always quick to pick up on anything Lee says that he disagrees with and challenge him on it. He doesn’t do it in an aggressive way, though; he’s polite and respectful, and he seems to genuinely want to understand why Lee is saying what he is. Lee begins to enjoy their debates despite himself. Mark is not only quick with words, but always has the facts to back up his arguments - Lee checks them afterwards, several times, and he’s always correct. Mark often makes points that Lee had never considered, and turns around his whole perspective on some issues. Violent protest, for example. Mark often listened to Tom Zarek speak, back on Sagitarron, and he lends Lee Zarek’s book. It’s a thought-provoking read, and while Lee can’t condone Zarek’s actions, or forget the people who died when he bombed that government building, he begins to understand how Zarek got to that point. And isn’t that the whole reason he came to university? To learn more about the world and other people’s perspectives?

Lee wants to dislike Mark because Gianne knew him back home, and often invites him out drinking with them. The two of them spend a lot of those evenings catching up on mutual friends and reminiscing. Even then, though, Mark is considerate. He sees when Lee is feeling left out of the conversation and draws him back in, asking about his studies, or his life back on Caprica, and Lee feels petty and ashamed of his jealousy.

Lee’s still trying to dislike Mark, although it’s a last flickering effort by now, when one evening Zak calls while they’re at the bar. When Lee gets back to the table, trying to hide how upset he is by the conversation, he finds that Gianne has told Mark all about Zak and their mother and how Lee can’t afford to go to Caprica to sort things out.

Mark offers to pay for his ticket.

\---

Lee refuses, of course. He’s so furious and embarrassed at having his private business exposed that he’s extremely rude about it.

Mark persists. It turns out his father had similar issues with alcohol. He stays calm and reasonable whatever Lee says to him, and makes the offer without showing any of the pity that Lee dreads. 

Gianne is utterly unapologetic about talking to Mark, and thinks it’s ridiculous to refuse his offer. She keeps on at Lee about it to the point of hounding, and when Lee gets a late night call from Zak where his brother is on the verge of tears and he can hear their mother screaming in the background, he gives in.

He lets Mark buy his ticket on the strict understanding that he will repay the money, although privately he knows that’s going to take months, if not years.

“Don’t worry about the money,” says Mark. “You can repay me with a favour.”

\---

It’s worth it, though, when he gets back to Caprica. Worth swallowing his pride.

Lee calls his mother’s sponsor, and they approach her together, and after a lot of talking and tears and apologies - gods, Lee is so frakking tired of this endless cycle - they get her to clear the house of booze and go back to her weekly meetings.

Lee persuades Zak to tell his girlfriend Meg about their mother’s drinking. Zak is freaked out by the idea, but when they do talk to her, it becomes obvious that Meg had a pretty clear idea what was going on anyway. How could she not? She’s been living three doors down the street for most of their lives, and their mother is not exactly subtle in her worst phases.

Meg’s supportive response makes Lee feel brave enough to talk to her parents. They look horrified and disgusted at first, and Lee thinks it was a terrible mistake until he realises that their negative emotions are directed at his parents. 

The upshot is that Zak gets an open invitation to stay at their house any time he feels he needs to, which makes Lee feel a million times better about the whole situation. Zak has a bolthole now if he needs one. Meg’s parents also promise to call Lee if they are worried about Zak, and make him promise to do the same, and...it’s weird, not to feel alone in all this for once. 

Weird, but such a relief. For once he feels as if he has solid ground beneath his feet.

\---

Despite the positive outcome, the trip is a strain, and as Lee lands on Virgon he feels as if he is finally breathing air after days spent underwater. When he arrives back at their flat, Gianne takes one look at his face and says they’ll go out once it gets dark.

They spray paint a bridge with slogans and smash every window in the municipal tax office, and by the time they get home, all the tension and rage has flooded away. Lee stretches his arms, feeling loose and relaxed for the first time since Zak called.

“Better?” asks Gianne, passing him a beer.

“Yes. I needed that.”

“I’ve got something new we can try. Next time. It’ll be even better.” She opens a cupboard, and beckons Lee to look.

He does, and all that tension returns with a vengeance. 

“No.” He slams the cupboard door closed. “I’m not...Gianne, that’s going too far.”

“It’s the logical next step.” She turns to face him, cool and determined. “A few broken windows are easily fixed, but fire...that’s permanent damage.”

“It’s also arson.”

“It will gather more attention. Get our voices heard.”

“If we get caught, we’ll be in serious trouble, and losing our scholarships will be the least of it.”

Gianne’s lip curls in a way Lee hasn’t seen in a long time, since that night at the bar when he first kissed her.

“The cause is important enough to me that I have the courage to risk it. I suppose that’s the difference between us.”

She goes to bed in silence. He sleeps on the couch. 

The following night, she goes out alone, and he stands at the window, watching the orange glare in the distance, and drinks the rest of the beer.

\---

The new Quorum of Twelve representative for Virgon is being sworn in at a grand ceremony, and the CPE are taking the opportunity to stage the largest demonstration they’ve ever organised, with members streaming in to attend from every colony.

It’s the largest protest Lee has ever attended. The sheer number of people packed into the square in front of the Virgon Quorum House, dressed in the CPE colours of green and white, arms linked and chanting, takes his breath away. The sun glints off the gilded dome of the Quorum House, and Lee feels the warmth fill him to his core. With so many people united and working together, how can they not succeed?

It’s one of the two moments that stays in his memory from that day, that sun-drenched point of possibility, of potential, of hope.

The other moment comes a few hours later, in greyness and despair, as the crowds scatter around him, as his eyes and mouth burn from tear gas. After the leaders of the CPE are arrested as they present their petition, after the crowd reacts angrily and starts smashing windows, after the army arrives and starts spraying them with the gas.

Mark keeps his head. He gathers their little group together and steers them out of the square. Away from the gas, away from the police handcuffing protestors and bundling them into vans, away from the people stampeding in panic and knocking others to the ground to be trampled.

It’s thanks to Mark that they all make it back to the university safe and unharmed, and Lee can’t deny his liking and respect for Mark any more after that.

He owes him twice over now.

\---

Four CPE members are killed that day, and dozens more injured. Hundreds arrested.

“You see,” says Mark. “They don’t hold back when dealing with us. We have to do the same.”

Lee doesn’t reply.

“Gianne understands that,” Mark continues, watching his face closely. “I was hoping you did too.”

The next time Gianne packs her black holdall and heads out at night, Lee goes with her. She shows him how to use her homemade fire bombs, and they set them alight together. They climb to the roof of their building and watch the fierce beauty of the municipal council offices burning, their linked hands trembling, giddy and high on triumph and excitement.

Lee remembers the smell of the tear gas, the panicked faces, and for the first time since that day he doesn’t feel bewildered or helpless.

Gianne’s right. Mark’s right. If someone strikes at you, the best response is to strike back. The only language bullies understand is their own.


	8. Chapter 8

_ Caprica, present day _

“Why fishing?” asked Lee at an unreasonably early hour the following morning. His head ached, his eyes were gritty, he craved a cup of coffee like the golden apple of the Hesperides, and the last place he wanted to be was standing at the edge of a slate grey lake, fitting together a fishing rod and trying not to shiver in the early morning breeze.

“I’ve always been an early riser,” said Laura Roslin, with her usual serene smile. She leaned back in her canvas chair, looking as fresh as a daisy. “And it means people think they know where I am. If they can’t see me, they just assume I’m having a quick nap in there,” she continued, gesturing to her small waterproof tent. “Besides, I used to fish with my father, so I know what I’m talking about. As I always say…”

“The best lies are based on truth,” finished Lee, snapping the rod together a little harder than he needed to.

Laura looked at him with a hint of amusement. “Did you have a busy night?”

Lee’s hands stilled as he unfolded a second chair. He looked up suspiciously, but Laura’s expression had settled back to blandness. 

“Did you find the package?” he asked, as a diversion.

“Yes. Thank you.”

Silence fell. Laura opened a thermos, and the smell of coffee banished Lee’s annoyance.

She poured two cups, and after the first mouthful Lee began to feel human again.

“Talk to me,” said Laura, staring out over the lake.

“Have you heard about the missing reporter?”

“Gossip in the bar last night. I didn’t think it was relevant. Was I wrong?”

“The last photograph he took before he disappeared was Mark Leroux in the doorway of my cabin.”

Laura’s cup halted halfway to her mouth. She turned to look at Lee. He knew that the wrinkle on her brow and her pursed lips was her equivalent of a stream of cursing.

“I was hoping,” said Lee, “that you might have picked up the reporter.”

“Unfortunately not.” Laura took a long draft of her coffee, eyes half closed in calculation. “Do you think he’s dead?”

“Maybe not. This close to the endgame? A body would draw too much attention, even made to look like an accident. He may get a reprieve, until…”

“Until the end is too close for it to matter.” Laura frowned, staring across the water. “See what you can find out.”

Lee nodded.

“How do you know about the photograph?”

“The reporter’s girlfriend hired a PI to look for him. She found a flash drive hidden in his room.”

“Ah yes, Kara Thrace. How convenient that you two have a prior...acquaintance.”

Lee gritted his teeth. He was aware that Laura kept a watching eye over him, but he preferred not to be reminded of it.

“It enabled me to take a look at her laptop.”

“How much does she know?”

“Not much. She hasn’t identified Mark yet. I thought about deleting the photos, but she’ll have taken backups. She used to be a cop, she knows what she’s doing. She’d emailed them to someone called Felix Gaeta, asking him to see if he could get a name.”

“Gaeta. Unusual name.”

“Yes, he wasn’t hard to identify. He’s police. Computer forensics.”

“What else did she ask him for? Background checks, I suppose.”

“On everyone at the hotel. Staff and guests.”

Laura sent him an amused glance. “Don’t worry about me. My background is impeccable.”

“Mine isn’t.” 

“I’ll warn her off if she gets too close.”

Lee drained his cup, his mood as grey as the water. 

For two years now, his meetings with Kara had been bright bubbles of freedom, precisely because he kept her rigidly separated from the rest of his life.

Now those barriers were cracking. He’d struck the first blow himself last night, when he had used their relationship to get into her room and go through her laptop, and once she started looking into his background, they would crumble altogether.

Lee had always known his time with Kara was finite. He thought he had resigned himself to that, but now he realised he wasn’t ready to lose her. Not yet.

Too late now. It was out of his hands.

\---

Kara woke to sunlight falling across her face and an empty bed. Early morning fishing, she remembered, and was suddenly glad that Lee was gone, avoiding any awkwardness. Last night had felt different, somehow. Seeing him outside their motel bubble, drinking with their mutual friends, answering questions about her case...it made this thing between them, whatever it was, seem more serious, more real. Kara couldn’t decide if that was good or not.

As she showered and dressed, she decided not to think about it, in the same way that she never allowed herself to think about why Lee kept calling her, why she kept agreeing to see him when he did, or why neither of them had ever made any move to take things further between them. 

Let it be what it will be, let whatever happens, happen. That philosophy seemed to have worked for her so far.

There were only a couple of guests at breakfast. Most of them had gone out early fishing or hiking, said Meg. She took a coffee break and sat with Kara while she demolished a plate of scrambled eggs and toast. Zak was in the kitchen and Karl out getting supplies.

“What are your plans for the day?” Meg asked.

“Going to head down to Piraeus. Talk to the people in the photos - the mechanic and the park ranger - and see if anyone remembers seeing Billy the day he left here. Then take a look at Lee’s cabin.” 

Kara hoped that by the evening she would have heard back from Felix Gaeta about the mysterious man in the photo, but Felix did have an official job to do, in addition to the favours he did for her. Felix had helped Kara uncover the internal corruption that had ultimately got her thrown off the force, and still felt guilty that he had kept his job where she hadn’t, so he was always ready to help her out where he could.

“Packed day,” commented Meg, and Kara shrugged. 

“Got to give Dee her money’s worth. And if something has happened to Billy...well, every hour counts.”

The last mouthful of egg was suddenly thick and glutinous in her mouth, and she choked it down.

“Oh. I hadn’t thought of it like that.” Meg frowned, spooning sugar in her coffee.

“Let’s hope it isn’t like that.”

“I’ll remind Lee to call Jean about his cabin when he gets back from fishing,” said Meg. “He’ll be back for lunch, he never lasts all day.”

“He’s not a fishing obsessive, then?” Kara couldn’t really see it.

“Far from it. Karl used to joke that the only reason he went fishing was because he had a crush on Laura.”

“Laura?” Kara hid her face in her own mug of coffee.

“One of our regular guests. She’s fanatical about fishing, out there from dawn to dusk when she comes here. You probably saw her in the bar last night...red hair, cool and serene…”

“Oh, I know who you mean. She was checking in when I arrived yesterday. Is she Lee’s type?”

Meg chuckled. “Possibly. Though admittedly, I’ve known him most of his life, and I’ve never seen him with an older woman.”

“Oh, yeah. You and Zak were high school sweethearts, weren’t you?”

“Don’t you start.” Meg rolled her eyes. “I’ve had enough jokes about that from Lee over the years. He loves to tease that high school is supposed to be about romantic experimentation, not settling down with the first guy who asks you out.”

“You mean...wow.” Kara couldn’t decide whether she was horrified or envious at the idea that Meg had only ever dated one guy.

Meg flushed a little, but she shrugged. “It worked for us. We had a little time apart, when Zak...was going through some problems, but only...when it’s right, it’s right, you know?”

“I guess.” Now Kara did feel a little envious.

“What about you? Anyone on the horizon?”

“Not really, but I’m fine with that.” Kara looked at Meg’s speculative smile and frowned. “Seriously. So don’t go trying to set me up with one of your guests.”

“Not even Lee? I definitely saw you checking out his ass at least twice last night.”

Meg laughed, and Kara forced herself to join in, hoping it didn’t sound strained. Although she wasn’t quite sure why she was being so secretive. What did it matter if her friends found out she was sleeping with Lee? They were both adults, and single...well, she assumed Lee was still single, or he’d have stopped calling her…

“Is Lee available, then?” Kara found herself using the opportunity to clear it up. “Because he’s the kind of guy I’d expect to settle down with his high school girlfriend.” She expected Meg to laugh, but instead her smile died, and a ripple of sadness crossed her face. “Sorry, have I said something wrong?”

Meg waved her hand, putting down her mug. “You weren’t to know. It’s just...Lee did have a serious girlfriend, but...she died.”

Kara hadn’t been expecting that. “Died?”

“She was killed in a car accident.”

“That’s awful.” But...maybe it explained a few things. Lee had never really seemed the type for a casual fling, and that impression had only increased the more she got to know him. Maybe he was still grieving. Maybe that was why he was sticking to casual motel hookups, because he couldn’t bear to replace his dead girlfriend.

Fine. The gods knew Kara didn’t want anything serious either. So that was all fine.

She drained her coffee, feeling suddenly restless, as if ants were walking over her skin. Time to get to work and stop gossiping.

\---

Kara’s morning in Piraeus was not productive. Everyone she spoke to recognised Billy’s photo, and several villagers had spoken to him, giving him suggestions about places to visit, or even quotes to include in his articles, but no-one remembered seeing him on the day he left the Galactica, or remembered anything unusual in his behaviour or conversation.

Galen Tyrol, the garage owner, was the first useful witness. A pleasant but quiet man, he regarded Kara warily at first, until she asked a few intelligent questions about the vintage car he was working on that showed she knew what she was talking about when it came to engines, and offered to pass him his tools as he worked, and he loosened up.

It turned out Tyrol remembered the day Billy left Galactica clearly, as he’d had an urgent repair job and spent the day outside his garage working on it because the lights inside had failed.

“I was keeping an eye on the road, because I was expecting the guy from the power company to show up. And I didn't see Billy’s car go past.”

“Would you have recognised it?”

“That car? Sure. It was a sweet car.” Tyrol listed the make, model and colour, and Kara had to agree.

So. It didn’t sound as if Billy had gone to Piraeus when he left the hotel, whatever he had said his plans were. He must have gone in the other direction. Tyrol got out a map, and showed her the options. 

“Either he headed down the valley, back towards the city, or he took this road here. It goes up to the Orestes Pass, and then through the mountains towards Delphi.”

“I don’t suppose there are many traffic cameras around here.”

Tyrol shook his head with a grin. “Not until you get to the highways. But then, you can’t go too fast on these roads if you want to finish your journey in one piece.” He folded up the map carefully. “If he went up to the Pass, though...it’s a popular walking spot, and there’s a ranger hut at the car park there that’s always staffed. Ranger called Kat. She might have seen him.”

“Thanks for the tip. What about the valley road?”

Tyrol gave her the names of a few villages in that direction. She could try there on her way back to Caprica City, if she had no other leads by then.

“You talked to Billy yourself, then?”

“A few times. He came in to fill up the car, and we got talking. Nice guy, and he didn’t think he knew everything, like some city guys do. He took the mountains seriously, I saw a survival kit in his boot.” Tyrol sighed, his eyes darkening. “If something did happen to him up on the mountain, it’s probably serious, because he didn’t seem the kind of guy to take foolish risks.”

“I see.” Their eyes met, and Kara recognised his expression. She’d seen it in many of her fellow cops; the eyes of people who had seen too many bad outcomes. Tyrol seemed to return her recognition.

“I did five years in mountain rescue,” he said. “You?”

“Five years in the police.”

He nodded. “Then you know. Bad things happen even to the nicest people.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

Tyrol worked it out as the day before Billy left Galactica. “He asked about the weather forecast for the next day, said he might take a walk in the mountains. Oh, and he asked about the park rangers’ cabin, the one they rent from the hotel. Asked if it was used as a holiday let. I told him he needed to speak to Karl or Zak about that one.”

Lee’s cabin again. She definitely needed to take a look at the place. Kara thanked Tyrol and asked for directions to the park rangers’ office.

\---

It wasn’t hard to find, and nor was the ranger from Billy’s photos. Jean Barolay was sitting on the step outside, drinking a soda.

She gave Kara a thorough inspection as she approached, and then greeted her by name before Kara could introduce herself. She laughed at Kara’s confused face, with a glint to her smile that Kara didn’t quite trust.

“Lee called to say you’d be along. He said you wanted to look round his cabin?”

“That’s right.”

Jean tilted her head to one side. “Mind if I ask why?”

“I’m looking for the reporter who’s gone missing. I assume you know about that?”

Jean rolled her eyes as she got to her feet. “Of course. It’s the most excitement this place has seen in months. And now a big city detective on the case...the gossip levels will be off the charts.” 

“I found some photos he took the day he was last seen, and he’d been up at Lee’s cabin. I thought maybe he might have gone back there.”

“I doubt it. Kat or Brendan or myself are up there most days checking equipment in or out.” Again, Kara sensed a mocking undertone.

Kara shrugged. “I’d like to have a look anyway. His girlfriend’s paying me, and I want to tell her I did a thorough job.”

Jean’s blue eyes stared at her for a long moment. “All right. I need to go up there anyway, and as Lee gave his permission, I’ll give you the tour. What there is of it.”

\---

Jean was right, there wasn’t much to see. The cabin was barely worthy of the name; one big room with a sink stuck in one corner and a toilet in a lean-to at the back. It would certainly be of no use as a holiday let in the winter, and most people would think twice in the summer. If Lee used it, he was less concerned with his creature comforts than Kara would have expected.

The inside of the cabin was full of tools in varying states of cleanliness. 

“We do a lot of maintenance in the winter,” said Jean. “Mending the paths, fixing stiles. Our office in Piraeus isn’t that big, so it’s useful to have a store here where we can clean the tools. It’s closer to most of the footpaths as well.”

“Do you recognise this man?” Kara brought the photo up on her phone. No-one she’d spoken to in Piraeus had known him.

At least Jean gave it proper consideration, looking at the image carefully before she shook her head. “No. Not one of my rangers.”

“Anyone else use the cabin?”

“Not officially, but we don’t keep the door locked. Just in case someone gets stranded up here and needs shelter.”

“Aren’t you worried your tools would be stolen?”

Jean shrugged. “They’re not worth much. Theft’s not really a problem round here, anyway.”

“Of course. The kind of homespun, salt of the earth community where no-one locks their doors, right?”

Kara cursed herself as the words slipped out. She hadn’t meant to sound so rude, but something about Jean rubbed her up the wrong way. It was the amused, slightly pitying tolerance with which she answered Kara’s questions.  _ These ridiculous city folk, we have to humour them... _

Jean raised her eyebrows. “Someone’s been in the city too long.” She ushered Kara out of the cabin. “I don’t know what more I can tell you. The guy in the photo was probably a walker, stopped here for a rest.”

Kara sighed. Another dead end.

\---

As Kara entered the hotel, her phone sparked into life, and she saw she had several missed calls from Felix Gaeta. She hurried up to her room for privacy, and called him back.

“What have you got for me, Felix?” she drawled. “I could do with some good news. It’s been a frustrating day.”

“Well...I don’t know if I’d call it good news, exactly,” replied Felix, with a strange edge to his voice. “It’s certainly unexpected.”

“What?”

“Your mystery man in the photo is a mystery no more.”

Kara’s heart raced. “No kidding?”

“No kidding. It didn’t take long, once I ran his photo through the police database.”

“He’s on the system? A crook?”

“In a way.” Again, Felix sounded strange. “His name is Mark Leroux, and he’s done time for political agitation and criminal damage.”

“Political agitation? Is that a fancy way of saying…”

“Terrorism? Yes. He was involved with Tom Zarek and the Sagittaron Freedom Movement. Arrested in the aftermath of the bombing Zarek was jailed for.”

“Tom Zarek? The SFM?” Kara fell back on her bed, feeling suddenly dizzy. “But that’s…” Her brain whirled with the implications.

“Precisely,” said Felix. “Kara, what exactly have you got yourself into?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone woh has left kudos or comments, they are much appreciated. I got the name of Tom Zarek's organization off a BSG wiki, so hopefully it is correct..!


	9. Chapter 9

_ Virgon, eight years ago _

Lee stares through the bars of the men’s holding cell, leaning back against the concrete wall. Next to him Robert is mumbling, his face buried in his hands. Lee can’t catch the words, but he can tell from the tone that Robert is panicking.

Gianne isn’t. Lee can see her in the women’s holding cell - this is a small police station, they don’t have a lot of space - and she is methodically wrapping her hair around her little finger, in the way she does when she’s thinking.

Lee feels surprisingly calm. Strangely detached from it all. Maybe that’s one benefit of growing up with his mother; it forced him to learn how to function in a crisis. 

This is a crisis. All three of them have been charged with arson and criminal damage. The cops caught them coming out of the city planning offices. The fire took hold faster than they’d expected, and they’d lost Gianne in the corridors, and by the time they found her the alarm had already been raised, and they didn’t have time to get away.

Lee had doubts about this fire from the start. The building was large and they didn’t know the layout. It was too close to the nearest police station. He said as much, but Mark talked him round, said it was important and asked him to go, as a personal favour. He didn’t actually come out and say that Lee owed him for the trip to Caprica, but Lee felt the obligation all the same, and agreed.

He wishes he had stuck to his guns now.

This is the end of his law degree. He’ll lose his scholarship, and a criminal record will bar him from becoming a lawyer anyway.

He doesn’t know why he didn’t think about that before. Maybe he did, it was always there in the back of his mind, but it didn’t seem to matter as much as the cause, and his friends, and not letting down Mark and Gianne…

...he supposes he never thought he’d get caught. He’s been doing this for nearly a year now, and never come close to the police before, apart from a few sirens and flashing lights at the other end of a street as they make a getaway.

What a frakking idiot. Did he think he was invincible? He’s been living in a dreamworld, and now reality is hitting home with a vengeance.

Lee looks around at the other men in the cell, careful not to make eye contact. One slumped in a drunken stupor, another who is obviously high and can’t stop twitching, another with a broken nose and a look in his eyes that sets the back of Lee’s neck prickling.

He could go to prison.

_ You will go to prison _ , that scarily detached part of his mind informs him.  _ Arson on a government building for political motives? That will be a prison term, even if it is your first offence. _

He thinks of it, of being locked in the company of men like these for 24 hours a day, and for a moment the calm almost slips, he almost joins Robert in his panicked mumbling.

The outer door opens, and a police officer walks in. Calls his name, and Robert’s and Gianne’s, says their bail has been posted. 

Mark is waiting outside. Lee shoves his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking, and wonders how he managed to afford the bail for all three of them. It was probably less than a ticket to Caprica, though.

They climb silently into Mark’s car. Robert has stopped muttering, but he buries his head in his hands again, and won’t look up.

Lee realises that Mark hasn’t started the car. He’s looking at Gianne in the front passenger seat with an almost feverish expression.

“Have you got it?”

“Oh yes.” Gianne smiles like a cat who got the cream. “They had to get a female clerk to search me, and she didn’t know what she was doing. I have the plans safe and sound.”

Mark’s smile blooms. Lee has never seen him like this. He’s always so brisk and calm, but now...he looks exalted. Like a sportsman winning a trophy, or a politician winning an election.

“I knew I could count on you, Gi.”

“Plans?” asks Lee. “What plans?” His mind races. Was that why they’d lost Gianne at the planning offices? Had she been stealing something? Was that why Mark had been so insistent they break into that building, despite the risks? “What’s going on?”

Gianne and Mark turn to look at him with identical patronising smiles.

“Don’t worry about it, Lee. You’ll find out soon enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor PastLee, he's finally opened his eyes, but a bit too late...
> 
> Quick reminder, Robert is another CPE member (although you can probably work that out from the context), he was chair before Mark turned up. He was mentioned in a previous chapter but that was a while ago.


	10. Chapter 10

_ Caprica, present day _

Lee waited until Kara’s car was out of sight before leaving the concealment of the trees and walking up to the cabin. Jean raised her eyebrows when she saw him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I should be on hand. In case of any problems.”

Jean laughed, her eyes glinting. “Always the knight in shining armour, huh? I think I can handle one ex-cop.”

“Never hurts to have back up. How did it go? I assume you had time to clear everything away.”

“Plenty, thanks for the heads up. It’s a hassle we could have done without. There’s not room for everything up at the Pass.”

Lee opened the door of Jean’s truck and grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler. It had been a steep climb up from the lake.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have kidnapped a journalist then.” He gulped down the water.

Jean walked around the front of the truck and grabbed the bottle out of his hand. “Didn’t have a choice. He broke into the cabin and saw our supplies.” She downed the rest of the water, and dropped the bottle on the ground.

“That’s littering, Ms Park Ranger.”

“Frak off. You try spending all day preaching about the environment.”

“You try spending all day hiding figures in frakking spreadsheets.”

Jean glared at him. Something in her eyes made Lee’s breath catch. He generally knew how to handle Jean, but she’d been unpredictable recently. Maybe the stress was finally getting to her. 

Finally, much to his relief, her mouth quirked in amusement. “If you want some excitement, why don’t you come up to the Pass tomorrow, try some interrogation? You always made an excellent good cop.”

Lee’s stomach turned, but long practice kept his face relaxed. “If you like. You think this guy Keikeya was onto us?”

Jean sighed, leaning back against the side of her truck. “No. I think he stumbled across us through pure bad luck, but I’d like to be sure of that, and he’s proving stubborn. You might have more luck with a gentle approach.”

Lee picked up the bottle and tossed it into the truck, then closed the door so he could lean next to her. “And then? When you’re sure?”

A shadow settled across Jean’s face. “I don’t know. I don’t like using extreme measures, Lee, but sometimes it can’t be avoided.”

Lee’s stomach lurched again as he remembered past instances of Jean’s extreme measures. Again he did his best to hide it.

“If it wasn’t for that damned photo of Mark...how did Keikeya manage to get close enough for that?”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking Katraine that very same question.” Jean’s tone made Lee feel a pang of sympathy for Katraine, much as he normally disliked the woman. “These youngsters don’t have a frakking clue.”

“And we’re so venerable and experienced.” 

It made Jean laugh, which was always an advantage.

“Neither of us have ever frakked up that badly. If Keikeya hadn’t come back the next day to look inside the cabin we’d have been none the wiser. If he’d shown the photo of Mark to the right people and they’d taken us by surprise...we could have lost all our supplies, and then we’d be back at square one.”

“No-one’s identified Mark from that photo yet, but it’s only going to be a matter of time.”

“And what will our plucky PI do then?” asked Jean derisively. “Will she go to the cops?”

“Maybe. From what I understand, she didn’t leave the force on good terms. She might decide to handle it herself.” Lee paused, throwing a enquiring glance towards Jean. “You know, she’s working for Keikeya’s girlfriend. If she got him back, that might be the end of it.”

Jean was silent for a moment. She sighed. “He knows too much.”

“You can easily scare him into silence. Threaten the girlfriend, his family. At least no-one would be poking around up here looking for him then.”

Lee waited as Jean considered it, trying to ignore how his palms were sweating. Maybe she could avoid extreme measures after all.

But Jean shook her head. “Any other time, I’d do it, but not now. It’s too risky this close to zero hour.”

“How close?”

Jean laughed and tapped her nose. “Come on Lee, you know that’s above your pay grade.”

Lee kept his shrug casual. “Worth a try.”

“Come and talk to Keikeya tomorrow, and then I’ll decide what to do. As for Thrace...let’s hope she doesn’t become a problem. At least you’re on the spot. How well do you know her?”

Fortunately Lee had been expecting this question. “Not well, but my brother and Karl do. I can find out what she’s planning through them.”

“Or you could try using your charm, Lee. It has been known to work on some women.”

Lee’s breath caught. It was the kind of joke Jean often made, but was there something behind it? Did she know? He couldn’t see any suspicion in her face. Maybe it was his own guilt, imagining things that weren’t there.

He made himself laugh, and hoped it didn’t sound forced. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll give it a try.”

“Good. Now I’ve met her, she looks like she could be a definite problem.”

Lee didn’t like the look on her face. “Even if she does...we can’t have another disappearance Jean, especially an ex-cop. Can you imagine the shitstorm? Like you said, too close to zero hour.”

He watched Jean’s face for an endless moment until she sighed. “I guess you’re right. See what you can find out, and brief me tomorrow.”

“Of course.” 

Lee watched her truck pull away, his mind racing. He didn’t like the way this situation was developing at all. He needed to consult with Laura.

That damned reporter. Why couldn’t he have kept his nose out of all this? Instead of falling into a whirlpool of trouble, and threatening to suck them all down with him.

He wasn’t going to suck Kara down. Not if Lee could prevent it.

\---

“Shit,” said Karl. He poured them each a shot of ambrosia and knocked his back in one swallow.

Kara followed suit. Karl had come to find her a few minutes after she’d finished her conversation with Felix, when her head was still reeling, and it had all come tumbling out - the man in the photo and his connection to the SFM.

“Looks like your cop instincts are still spot on,” she said. “You knew something was up.”

“Maybe, but I never...I thought maybe Billy had been attacked, or robbed, but...terrorists? That’s a whole different ball game.” Karl looked down at her with a hint of worry in his eyes. “Tell me you’re going to call this in. It’s too big for you to deal with on your own.”

Kara couldn’t deny that part of her wanted to pursue this, to save Billy Keikeya and bring Mark Leroux’s secrets to light, and triumph over every bastard who’d plotted to get her off the force, but she knew it was a pipedream.

“Felix is alerting the right people.” It had been out of her hands anyway; Felix might be willing to bend the rules for her, but he wouldn't push them this far.

Still, that didn’t mean Kara couldn’t do a little more information gathering. Dee was paying her for another day, after all. She could go back to the cabin on her own tomorrow, see what she could find away from that park ranger’s watchful eyes. Something about Jean had set her on edge, although Kara couldn’t place her finger on what. She’d been pleasant and business-like, and everything she’d said had been plausible. She certainly wasn’t the only person with access to the cabin. She asked Karl about the other park rangers.

“There’s Kat - Lou Katraine - she’s a local, grew up here, can’t see her being mixed up in this. The new guy - Costanza - he’s only been here a year, and I think he’s from Tauron originally, judging by his accent, but still-”

“What about Jean Barolay? Is she a local?”

“No. I’m not quite sure how long she’s been here. She was already here when we bought the hotel, so at least two years. She was based at Scythia Park before that.” He pulled a face. “Or at least that’s what she said. I suppose we can’t take it at face value. I hate having to think like this again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, I dragged you into this, remember?” Karl smiled with a hint of apology.

More background checks to request. Kara wondered if she’d get the ones on the hotel staff and guests from Felix tonight. They included checks on Meg, Zak and Lee. Kara couldn’t imagine that any of them were involved, but it would be a basic error to leave them out.

_ Lee does own the cabin _ , a little voice inside her pointed out.  _ He has sole access during the summer. _

_ But he lives in the city. He comes here once a month, Karl said that… _

_ As far as Karl knows. _

Kara swatted the thoughts away. She might not know Lee very well, but he wouldn’t be involved in something like this. He was too...reliable, too conventional.

_ Meeting me in motel rooms regularly isn’t very conventional. _

Again, she cut the thought off. Hopefully she would get the checks soon, and they would show that Lee was exactly the respectable accountant that he should be.

\---

Lee said his piece, and busied himself packing up the fishing gear while he waited for Laura’s verdict.

“It’s an admirable suggestion, Lee, but it’s a risk.”

“Everything we do is a risk.” If Lee started calculating the risks he took every day, he’d have gone mad years ago.

“Necessary risks.” Laura pursed her lips. “I’m not sure this counts as a necessary risk.”

Lee turned to look at her, frowning. “Saving a life isn’t a necessary risk?”

“If it goes wrong...saving that one life could cost dozens, maybe hundreds more.”

Lee opened his mouth, but an icy stare from Laura silenced him.

“Don’t try to sway me with sentimentality, Lee. You know better than that.”

He did know better. Laura was right, there were potentially hundreds of innocent lives at stake here.

“I think it can be done without arousing suspicion,” he said instead. “I wouldn’t suggest it otherwise.”

Laura nodded. She turned away to look out over the lake as Lee finished packing the gear.

“Very well,” she said, finally turning round. “If you get the opportunity, you can take it.”

“Thank you.” Lee smiled to himself. It was always gratifying when Laura justified the faith he had placed in her all those years ago.

Laura eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t you get smug on me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Lee, hastily erasing the smile from his face.

\---

The hotel guests were gathering for dinner. Kara established herself at the table closest to the kitchen. 

“Shall I ask Lee to sit with me?” she said to Meg, carefully casual. “No point us taking up two tables instead of one.”

“Sure. Is it ok if we serve you last?”

“Of course.”

It wasn’t long before Kara spotted Lee entering the dining room. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. She forgot, sometimes, in the weeks between their meetings, how beautiful he was. The sharp angles of his jawline and cheekbones, his soft dark hair, the lean muscled lines of his body…and those frakking blue eyes, she thought, as she waved at him. They were the first thing she’d noticed about him, that night at Karl’s party, those astonishing blue eyes watching her from across the bar. 

If you were the kind of person who rated guys, which Kara was sometimes, usually when she was bored, Lee was a solid ten. Well, unless he was airing his ridiculous opinions about pyramid. Or legal reform. Or putting mayonnaise in his hot dog, which was simply a crime against nature. That all knocked him down to an eight. Maybe even a seven.

“Hey, Kara,” he said, arriving at the table.

Kara realised she was lifting her face towards him just as Lee leaned forward slightly. Remembering they were in public, Kara stopped, hoping she wasn’t flushing, and waved a hand at the empty chair.

“I told Meg we’d sit together for dinner. Save on tables.”

Lee sat down, a grin forming. “And you thought I’d be happy to join you? Maybe you turned me off with all those accountancy jokes last night.”

“Oh, I definitely didn’t turn you off,” Kara smirked, remembering how last night had ended. She ran her eyes over him in a way she knew would make him blush, and laughed when he did, right on cue.

Lee scowled at her. “I thought you wanted to keep our...thing...a secret? Because if you do, stop looking at me like that.”

“Good point.” Kara shot a glance at Karl, but he was busy behind the bar. “So you call it a thing too?”

“I don’t know what else to call it.”

“Friends with benefits? Frak buddies?”

Kara expected him to blush again, but instead he looked at her with an odd expression. 

“So we’re friends, then?”

Something in his tone made Kara shift uncomfortably in her seat.

“I guess so. Of course we are.” His eyes flared, and she felt an answering leap of emotion in her chest. “Even though you’re not a Panthers fan,” she added hurriedly.

“Not that again.” He rolled his eyes, the intense expression disappeared, and Kara breathed easily again.

“How did it go today?” he asked later, when they were eating. “Did Jean show you the cabin?”

“Yes, thanks for arranging it.”

“Was it useful?”

“Not really, but you have to cover every base in an investigation.”

Kara wondered whether to tell him about the photo identification, but decided against it. She wanted to mull over that for a while.

“Gods, this chicken is good.” Kara took another bite, savouring the aroma. 

“Zak knows his stuff.” 

“He’s amazing. Why the hell did he waste time in the Fleet when he could cook like this?”

“Well, that was down to our dad.” Lee’s smile faded. “He was desperate to have a son follow in his footsteps, and as I’d declined the offer, he focused on Zak. Parental pressure can be hard to resist.”

“I get that. My mother was keen for me to follow her into the Fleet, too. If she hadn’t died, I’d probably have ended up there instead of the police.”

“I’m sorry. That’s hard, losing a parent that young.” 

Lee’s eyes were warm with sympathy. Kara jerked away from it, staring down at her plate.

“Thanks. She wasn’t...the greatest parent.”

“Nor was my mother. I still miss her, though.” Kara looked up, startled. Lee was staring into the distance, his forehead creased with thought. “Or maybe it’s that...I miss the possibility of her.”

“Yes, that’s it,” breathed Kara. “Because now she’s gone, nothing can change. That’s it, exactly.”

Their eyes met, and for a moment Kara felt a sense of kinship, of understanding, that she’d never felt before. Lee got it. She wondered what his mother had been like, whether she had been as bad as her own mother, but she didn’t want to drag down the evening by asking.

“So you turned down the fleet for accountancy?” she said instead, trying to lighten her tone. “Couldn’t resist the lure of numbers?”

Lee laughed, and waved a finger at her reprovingly. “Strike one on the accountancy jokes.”

“Strike one?” Kara grinned, leaning forward. “What happens if I get to strike three?” She lowered her voice huskily. “Are you going to punish me, Lee?”

Lee didn’t reply. He stared at her, eyes wide and dark, and Kara battled the temptation to lean even closer and brush her lips over his. She was on the brink of defeat when Karl’s voice broke across the table like a klaxon.

“You two look very cosy.” He put two fresh beers down on the table, looking between them with amusement. “Am I interrupting something?”

“You’re always interrupting something, Karl,” Kara snapped back. “It’s your function in life.”

“Thanks for the beers,” said Lee. “Kara was just questioning my career choices.”

“Oh really?” Kara watched the smirk spreading across Karl’s face and braced herself, but thankfully at that moment Meg called him over.

“I see what you mean,” said Lee, watching him walk away. “He’d be insufferable to both of us, wouldn’t he?”

“Insufferable,” agreed Kara. She turned back to Lee. “So what did attract you to accountancy?”

Lee shrugged. “I guess I drifted into it. I wanted to be a lawyer, but that didn’t work out, and...accountancy pays well.” Kara couldn’t help pulling a face, and he grinned. “We can’t all be as passionate about our jobs as you are.”

“Passionate?” Kara was taken aback. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“It’s obvious from every word you say how invested you are in this case.”

“In this case, yeah, but most of my work? It’s all cheating spouses and bail jumpers. Not much to get passionate about.” 

She must have looked wistful, because Lee’s sympathetic look was back.

“You really miss being a cop, don’t you?”

Kara wanted to deny it, but there was no point. “Yeah.”

“So why did you leave?”

Kara drained her remaining beer and picked up the fresh glass. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time. And I’d like to hear it.” 

It wasn’t a story Kara told many people, but then not many people asked about it. Most pretended to accept the official story that she had resigned, or assumed that it was a cover for something disgraceful. Had anyone, before Lee, asked her what really happened? If so, they certainly hadn’t asked as he did, as if he were genuinely interested in hearing the answer.

So Kara told him.

She told him about her days as a rookie cop, excited and eager to prove herself. Gods, she’d been so young then. Kara ached for that girl in her shiny new uniform, determined to succeed and show all the worth that her mother had denied in her.

It had gone well, at first. She’d loved the job, and the work came naturally to her. She’d passed every test with flying colours, impressed the veteran they’d partnered her with so much that he’d recommended an early end to her probation. Her first partner after she’d become a fully-fledged cop had been Karl, and they’d clicked immediately, balancing his easy charm with her sharp instincts. It reaped results, and they had been one of the most successful and effective partnerships in the station, winning them both the offer of promotion to detective.

Karl had turned it down. Kara hadn’t. And that was where it had all started to go wrong.

Everything was fine at first. She’d enjoyed her new role, the challenge of piecing the evidence together and constructing the case, the satisfaction of pursuing it to a conclusion, making an arrest and winning in court. There had been failures too, of course, from lack of evidence or legal issues, but that came with the territory. None of her new colleagues had become close friends, as Karl had, but they seemed decent enough.

Then gradually, she started to notice things. Little things, at first. Leads that weren’t followed up due to messages that hadn’t been passed on. Evidence that had to be ruled inadmissible due to small mistakes in procedure. Witnesses who withdrew their testimony or became unreliable on the stand. It took months for her to see a pattern in it all, and many more months for her to accept what she was seeing; that her team was corrupt. Not just one bad apple, or even two; they were all on the take. She realised that when she confided her suspicions in her partner, and all he did was laugh and assume she would come in on the deal.

“I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say, and I think he took that as agreement. So they stopped hiding what they did, and it confirmed all my suspicions. I didn’t want to go along with it, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it, who I could tell. But then…”

Then came a domestic abuse call that she couldn’t understand why they had been allocated - until she realised it was the family of one of the detectives. Her partner had talked the detective’s wife down from pressing charges, persuading her she was making a fuss over nothing, while her young daughter stared at them from the corner with a bruised face.

“That was the last straw. I couldn’t keep quiet after that, whatever trouble it brought me.”

Lee was watching her closely from across the table, a faint smile on his lips.

“You don’t regret making that decision, do you? No matter what happened later.”

“No,” said Kara, finding a harsh smile in return. “No I don’t.”

“Sometimes there’s only one choice you can make. No matter what it costs you.” There was a wistful look in his eye, and she wondered what choice of his own he was remembering.

“That’s true,” she said. “It was the only choice I could make and live with myself. I’ve never regretted it.”

She hadn’t, even though it had cost her career. Not immediately, of course. She’d raised enough stink with internal affairs and the press that the police commissioner had no choice but to investigate, to close the department and fire the worst offenders. She’d even been given a letter of commendation for speaking up.

Underneath, though...underneath she’d known her card was marked. She wasn’t a fool. She heard the venomous whispers as she passed, saw the threatening faces when they thought she wasn’t looking. She’d broken the code, and to many of her colleagues that was unforgivable, whatever her motive for breaking it. 

She’d done what she could to protect herself, but eventually they’d found their opportunity.

“Rape case. My partner bungled the arrest, the suspect pulled a knife, I had to subdue him. Banged him up a bit in the process. Then he claimed I’d broken his arm, said I’d attacked him. Claimed he didn’t pull a knife...and my partner backed him up. Said I’d attacked an unarmed man who wasn’t resisting arrest.”

Lee’s response was short and filthy. 

“Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction. They told me to resign or be fired. I could have fought it. I wanted to, just to spit in their eye, but Karl talked me down. Pointed out if the guy pressed charges and my partner backed him, I could end up in prison, and that would play into their hands even more. So I resigned, but made it a condition that the reason couldn’t be discussed publicly. It put an uneasy cloud over the whole thing, made people think how convenient it all was. They didn’t like it, but they’d got rid of me, so…”

She trailed off, draining her beer, uncertain what more to say. 

“So you left, and became the city’s best PI,” said Lee. He leaned forward and clinked his glass against hers. 

It made her laugh. “I don’t know about that.”

“I do.” His smile deepened, became more serious. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that, Kara.”

She shrugged it away. “I got off lightly, compared to all the people who were hurt by their actions. Who saw the people who injured them go free and unpunished.”

“Don’t downplay it. You did a brave thing, standing up to them, and you should be proud of it.” Lee’s hand reached across the table to cover hers. His blue eyes held an expression that made Kara swallow and look away in embarrassment.

She didn’t know what to say, and wasn’t sure she could speak anyway. She hadn’t realised how much it would affect her, finally telling someone all this. Someone who cared and understood.

She turned her hand so she could grip his tightly. “You’re right, Lee. We are friends,” she said, hoping that conveyed all she wanted it to.

She thought from his glowing smile that it did.

\---

Once the dinner service was finished, Zak came out of the kitchen to join them, and soon after Meg and Karl sat down too, taking turns to serve customers who came to the bar. 

It became clear that Karl told Zak and Meg about the identification of the man in the photo, and Kara’s irritation swelled to gigantic proportions.

“For frak’s sake, Karl, I asked you to keep it quiet!”

“I have kept it quiet. But Zak and Meg are my partners, and I don’t keep secrets from them. Not when they might affect the business, anyway,” he added, at the threatening look on Kara’s face.

“Would you like me to leave?” asked Lee, pushing his chair back. “Sounds like this is something you’d prefer me not to know.”

Kara nearly agreed, but he’d probably heard enough anyway. “It’s fine. Stay. You’re involved with the hotel too. Let me clarify whatever Karl told you all.” She briefly summarised the information Felix had given her about the man in the photo.

“It may be pure coincidence,” said Zak. “Maybe he was passing through and stopped for water and directions. It doesn’t mean that the SFM is active in this area.” He pulled an incredulous face. “I can’t believe I’m staying those words. It sounds ridiculous.”

“What about Keikeya going missing?” asked Karl.

“Again, coincidence. Maybe he did have an accident in a remote spot after all.”

“That’s a lot of coincidences and maybes,” said Meg. Zak frowned at her, and she put a hand on his knee. “I agree that it seems unlikely, but we have to consider all the possibilities.”

Lee finally spoke. “Are you planning to let the police know about this?”

“You think I should?” 

“It would be the correct procedure.”

“Oh by all means, let’s follow the correct procedure,” muttered Zak. “Should have known there would be a rulebook even for dealing with terrorists.”

Lee didn’t react, so Kara ignored Zak and answered Lee’s question.

“My friend who made the identification is going to raise an alert. He’s in the police, so he knows who to contact.”

“That’s good,” said Lee. “Let the police deal with it. Then you won’t have to take it any further.”

Kara stared at him, bristling. “What does that mean?”

“I’m saying you shouldn’t pursue this case any further.”

“Why not?” 

Lee winced at the tone of her voice, but he didn’t back down.

“We’ve all heard about the SFM on the news. They’re willing to kill people to achieve their aims, that’s why Zarek went to prison. They’re dangerous people, Kara. You don’t want to get caught up with them.”

“So you think I should just give up? Stop looking for Keikeya? Even though his girlfriend is paying me?”

“Kara.” Karl put a hand on her arm. “I agree with Lee. If Keikeya did stumble across something to do with the SFM, then he’s in deep trouble, and you don’t want to go the same way.”

Kara shook off his hand. “I know that, Karl! I’m not a rookie.”

“Then you know why I’m saying you should be cautious. If something goes wrong, you don’t have any back up. You’re not on the force any more-”

“I’m well aware of that!” Kara shot to her feet, sending her chair clattering to the floor. “You don’t have to remind me.”

Remorse flashed across Karl’s face. “Kara, I didn’t mean-”

Kara stormed away.

\---

Kara locked herself in her room, fuming. The first real case she’d had in months. The first one that might make a real difference if she solved it, and they thought she should give it up and leave it to the professionals.

She was still a professional, whether she had any official status or not.

Karl knocked twice, calling apologies through the door, but she ignored him. She was still too angry to talk. She wasn’t sure why she was quite so riled. Bad timing, probably, coming so soon after she had spilled out the whole painful story to Lee.

The hotel began to close down around her. The music in the bar was shut off, lights went out. She heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and voices murmuring outside her door, but no-one tried knocking again, and eventually they went away.

Kara checked her messages for the umpteenth time. Nothing from Felix. She should get some sleep. She had a busy day tomorrow.

However, when she lay down on the bed, her mind wouldn’t stop churning. Thoughts about the case and memories of the past combined like a whirlwind in her head, and she couldn’t dispel it. 

Kara sat up in bed, sighing. There was no way she was going to fall asleep in this mood. She needed to unwind. Pity she didn’t have any alcohol in the room.

Her treacherous mind supplied her with another way to unwind.

_ No.  _

She knew where his room was.

_ No. _

She looked at the door and remembered pressing him back into it last night, remembered his mouth on her skin with a shiver.

_ No _ .

She never could think about anything else when he was touching her. Every time, he seemed to blot everything out.

_ No _ .

He’d sought her out last night.

_ No. Not two nights in a row. This thing between you is casual. You’ll be sending off all the wrong signals. No _ .

Kara started moving, even as the litany of  _ no _ continued to run through her head, and she didn’t stop moving until she was knocking on Lee’s door.

“I can’t sleep,” she said, as soon as he opened it.

Lee looked surprised, almost wary, and her heart thumped, afraid he was going to send her away. Afraid she had misjudged this whole thing. Why was she so nervous anyway? So what if he turned her down? It didn’t mean anything.

The seconds seemed to drag like hours until Lee stepped back and smiled, inviting her in. “Maybe I can help with that.”

“I damn well hope so,” said Kara, trying not to show her relief. She felt slightly dizzy as she pushed the door shut behind her, and tried to hide it with the widest smirk she could muster. “After all, what are friends for?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out longer than expected - was having too much fun writing Kara in Denial I think.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should mention here that the rest of this story covers the subject of terrorist activities and attacks, nothing detailed, but if you would rather not read about that, you may want to stop here.

_ Virgon, eight years ago _

Lee twists and elbows Mark in the face, breaking free of his hold, then follows up with a knee to the groin, then to the face as Mark bends over, until Mark is down on the floor.

“Good,” says Mark, getting to his feet. “Robert, your turn.”

Robert is too hesitant. He needs to be quicker and more forceful, so Mark spends some time talking him through the moves again.

Mark is teaching them self defence. He says it’s to fill their time now they’ve been suspended from university, but Lee knows that really it’s preparation if they get a prison sentence. He’s not sure how much use Mark’s lessons will be in reality, but he’s learning all he can. He’s increased his gym time as well, building his strength. 

Robert insists it won’t happen. It’s their first offence, they’ll get off with a fine and community service...Lee thinks he’s deluding himself. Lee has always been one to prepare for the worst anyway. That way...well, you’re still disappointed, and it still hurts, but at least you’re braced for it.

Gianne is making soup. She doesn’t need Mark’s lessons; at the first session it became apparent that she already knew everything he could teach her. Lee had been impressed, and more than a little turned on, but she’d shrugged it off. 

“I didn’t grow up in the nicest area, so I learned to look after myself.”

She learned well. They practice in the evenings, sometimes, and Lee still hasn’t managed to beat her.

Gianne is slicing carrots, fast and precise. She scoops up the circles, then starts on the next with barely a pause. There’s something about her absolute focus on her task that makes Lee uneasy. She doesn’t cook often - that’s usually Lee’s job - and when she does it’s with reluctance, a chore to be done with as quickly as possible. He looks at the amount of vegetables she’s chopped, and his unease grows. 

Maybe this is her way of dealing with their court date looming on the horizon like a thundercloud. She’s been eerily calm over the whole thing, taking it all in her stride with not so much as a tear or a word of anxiety. It makes Lee uncomfortable, if only because it means he has to be equally stoic in return, when...when it would be a relief, actually, to be able to voice his fears, to admit how scared he actually is. 

He opens his mouth to ask Gianne if she’s ok, and there’s a strange noise from outside. A dull roar. The room shakes, and Gianne’s knife slips. 

“What was that?” asks Robert.

There’s a bead of blood on Gianne’s finger. “Are you all right?” Lee asks.

She nods, slipping her finger into her mouth to suck the wound. There’s something in her eyes Lee doesn’t understand, something bright and feverish, and he realises she’s not looking at him, but over his shoulder at Mark.

He hears Mark moving behind him, and turns to see the TV screen flare into life. A newsreader is talking, trying to hide shock behind his professional mask.

“Breaking news...there has been an explosion in central Boskirk...initial reports say that it was the Ministry of Trade building...it is not known how bad the damage is, or how many people may have been caught up in the explosion…”

Lee steps back. His gaze moves from Mark to Gianne and back again. He watches how they both lean towards the screen, lips parted, eyes bright with...yes, with excitement. And more than that...triumph.

They knew this was going to happen.

Everything begins to slot together in his head. It’s like one of those questions on aptitude tests, where you’re given a sequence of pictures and you finally spot the pattern that links them.

“The plans,” Lee says, hardly aware he is speaking aloud. “The plans that you took, the night we were arrested...they were for the Ministry of Trade building, weren’t they?”

Both Mark and Gianne’s heads snap towards him.

“That’s why we broke into the planning office that night, even though it was risky, so close to the police station...you needed the plans. For this.” 

Gianne is watching him warily. “Lee, that’s not-” She extends a hand towards him, and he pulls away sharply.

“Don’t lie to me. This is what you’ve been planning all along, isn’t it? Everything else, the petitions, the demonstrations, the graffiti, the fire-setting...that was just a cover.”

“Lee-”

Mark’s voice cuts across her. “Yes, Lee. You’re right.” Gianne looks towards him, eyes wide, and he shrugs. “No point denying it now he’s figured it out, Gi. Besides, he’s in too deep to cause trouble now. They both are.”

There’s a hardness, a cool calculation in Mark’s face that Lee has never seen before, all the earnest charm fallen away. The iron hiding beneath the smooth silken surface.

_ I was right to be wary of him. After all that effort to get over my dislike, my instincts were right _ . 

Lee wants to laugh, but he bites it back. His head feels fuzzy, almost as if he’s drunk, and he thinks if he starts laughing he might not stop. 

Robert is looking completely bewildered. “What’s going on? I don’t understand.”

Lee does. He understands it all now. “You were using the CPE as a front, weren’t you? The two of you. The two Sagitarrons. Because…”

He’s interrupted by the voice of the newsreader. “This just in; the Sagittaron Freedom Movement have claimed responsibility for the bombing. They say it is a response to the Trade ministry’s refusal to review their trade agreements and investments in Sagittaron, which have been described as exploitative and even punitive…”

“...they’re SFM, both of them,” Lee finishes, talking to Robert, but looking at the others. “They always have been.”

He realises he’s shaking. He feels sick to his stomach.

_ I played right into their hands, like a naive fool. Thinking I was fighting for my principles, when in fact… _

Gianne is watching him with a mixture of sadness and relief. “I’m glad you know now, Lee. I didn’t like having to lie to you.”

“Were we a lie too? ” He spits furiously, sickeningly afraid of the answer. “Was it just another way to lure me in?”

“Lee, don’t do this...” A hint of irritation crosses Gianne’s face, as if he’s being foolish. “Yes, I talked to you at first because you’d be a good recruit, but that wasn’t why I-”

Lee can’t do this, he can’t stay in the room with her a moment longer. The sickness in his stomach rises and this time he can’t fight it back. He stumbles into the bathroom just in time.

Afterwards he splashes cold water on his face and sinks onto the hard floor with his head in his hands, trying not to listen to the whispered conversation outside.

He wonders what the hell he’s going to do, how he’s going to get out of this.

If he even can.


	12. Chapter 12

_ Caprica, present day _

Lee woke pressed against warm skin, with sunlight streaming through the window.

He’d never found Kara still in his bed in the morning before. She always slipped away during the night, often without even waking him. Why was she still here?

He opened his eyes fully, and found Kara watching him. There was a smile on her face, but it was small and uncertain, a pale shadow of her usual exuberant grin.

Lee wanted to lean forward and kiss her, but something made him hesitate, a feeling that was almost...shyness? Ridiculous. After so many nights together, there wasn’t an inch of her skin that his mouth hadn’t touched, places far more intimate than her lips, and yet...and yet kissing her on the mouth now, in full daylight, with their eyes open and focused on each other, having slept all night in the same bed and woken up in each others arms...it felt more intimate, more meaningful than any kiss they had ever shared before.

He couldn’t risk it. 

So he hesitated, and closed his eyes, and after a moment he heard a rustle of sheets and felt the mattress shift as Kara moved. When he opened his eyes again, she was sitting on the side of the bed, pulling on her underwear.

“I’d better go. I’ve got lots to do today.”

Lee could hear the distance in her voice, and when she pulled on her t-shirt and turned around to look at him, it was in her eyes too. That moment of soft uncertainty vanished as if it had never been. 

“Nothing dangerous, I hope,” he said, fighting away the pang in his chest.

“Not at all, I promise,” replied Kara, rolling her eyes. “I couldn’t bear Karl’s fussing.”

Lee watched her dress, fighting against the words that bubbled in his throat, but as her hand touched the door handle they overwhelmed him. “Do you want to have dinner again this evening?”

Was that a flash of pleasure in her eyes? If so, it was immediately replaced by teasing. “Yes, I was planning to eat dinner.”

“With me.”

Kara drew out the pause, pretending to consider. “Why not? Your table manners weren’t that bad.”

“Nor were yours. See you later, then?”

“Yeah, later.” That odd shy smile again, and then she was gone.

Lee rolled on his front and buried his face in the pillow, cursing himself for a fool. What did he think he was doing? This thing with Kara...he had to keep it casual. It could never be more than that.

Last night had been far too much like a date. Having dinner with her, learning about her past, talking about her day. He shouldn’t have done it once, never mind ask her to do it again, but he hadn’t been able to hold the words back. His usual self-control always seemed to slip around Kara. He found himself doing and saying things he would never normally do, from that very first evening, and he didn’t understand why.

Not that it mattered. Dinner tonight might be the last meal he ever ended up sharing with her, if…

Lee turned onto his back, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. As he’d said to Laura, he was sure Kara would be running background checks on everyone at the hotel, including him. He knew better than to think she would exempt him because of their relationship, even before he’d heard the full story last night of why she’d left the police. When she got the results, she was going to find out he’d been in prison.

That would be the end for them. Kara might not be a cop any more, but last night had told him she was still one at heart. Enough of one that she wouldn’t want to sleep with someone who had a criminal record. Especially if she dug further, and found out what kind of accountancy firm he worked for.

It shouldn’t hurt. He’d known this thing with Kara was temporary from the start, was amazed it had lasted as long as it had. He should be grateful, and move on.

But last night...last night he’d fallen into the trap of pretending, that it was a real date, that he and Kara could be a real couple.

That wasn’t for him. He’d given up the right to that kind of normal life a long time ago, through his own foolish choices. 

As demonstrated by the fact that his first task of the day was to call Jean to pick him up so they could play good cop and bad cop while they interrogated a hapless reporter and Jean decided whether or not to kill him.

\---

Kara began her day by taking another look around Lee’s cabin. She approached on foot, as Billy would have done, following a trail that started at the back of the hotel car park. Meg had shown her the way, with a stern warning that if she wasn’t back by lunchtime she’d send Karl after her.

It was a steep climb, and it was nearly an hour after leaving the hotel that Kara glimpsed the cabin ahead of her. The last part of the path twisted through a closely packed copse of trees. Kara’s eye was caught by something on the ground, a flash of bright colour. Bending down she saw it was a sweet wrapper, and the brand rang a bell in her memory; she’d seen a packet of these in Billy’s hotel room.

The wrapper was behind one of the larger trees. She crouched to study the ground and could clearly see footprints in the soft soil. She got to her feet and looked towards the cabin, judging the angle, and nodded. This must be where Billy had taken the photos.

A truck pulled up at the cabin. Kara recognised the parks service logo, and swore. Just her luck when she wanted to look round unobserved. Maybe they wouldn’t stay long.

Two people got out of the truck, a woman with frizzy hair and a permanent frown, and a tall man with a face that looked sombre even when he was smiling. They started carrying crates into the cabin. Kara counted ten. Some of them looked heavy.

_ Nothing unusual about that, _ Kara said to herself.  _ They’re park rangers, they’re just moving equipment into their store.  _

Even so, something kept her standing in the shadows of the trees, rather than walking forward to greet them. Nothing rational. Only the prickling instinct crawling up her spine that Kara rarely acknowledged, but that if she was honest had saved her skin more than once over the years. When she felt that instinct, she obeyed it. So she stayed hidden until the two park rangers had finished their task and driven away.

They’d locked the door, of course. Kara tried picking the lock, but after thirty minutes she had to admit defeat. The door was too sturdy to break open.

She should have asked Lee for the key, although he probably wouldn’t have given it to her; he hadn’t seemed any keener than Karl on her pursuing this investigation.

Kara searched around the outside of the cabin, but found nothing useful. Maybe this whole thing was a dead end, and Mark Leroux’s presence here was nothing but a coincidence. But...the back of her neck still prickled.

\---

Kara was back at the hotel well before lunch, and when she checked her laptop, the message she had been waiting for was there; Felix had sent her the background checks. She scrounged a sandwich from Zak and took it up to her room, munching it while she read through the reports.

There wasn’t much on the hotel guests. Laura Roslin and her teacher friends were pillars of respectability, and the other guests equally innocuous. 

Galen Tyrol had a couple of arrests for drunk and disorderly and had been tried for assault, although it had been judged self-defence and he’d got off with community service. It sounded like a bar fight got out of hand. 

Jean Barolay had nothing more than a few parking tickets. She’d worked for the park service for nearly five years, previously at Scythia Park as Karl had said. The checks on the other two rangers weren’t back yet.

The final three reports were on Meg and the Adama brothers. Meg’s check was clear, but Zak had a police record. 

It was bare and uninformative. Zak had been arrested but not charged for manslaughter. There were no further details, and looking at the date, Kara realised that Zak would have been seventeen. A juvenile, so the records were probably sealed.

_ Manslaughter _ ? She couldn’t imagine Zak...he could be a moody bastard, sure, but he wasn’t violent. She’d never seen him so much as raise a fist in anger. He hadn’t been charged, though. Maybe it had been a false accusation. 

Maybe...she began to wonder if this might be the root of Zak’s erratic behaviour. His dark moods. The cryptic references Meg made to him ‘going through a bad time’ or ‘being in a difficult place’. She would know about this if anyone did.

Or Lee would. Kara took a deep breath and opened his file, knowing she’d deliberately saved it until last. Even though it would be clear. Of course it would. She remembered one evening where he’d left the motel room late at night to put more money in a meter to make sure he didn’t get a parking ticket. Another time they’d broken a chair in the room and he’d insisted on paying for the damage, flimsy thing though it was. Of course it would be clear…

Lee’s record wasn’t clear. He’d been convicted of arson and criminal damage and sentenced to two years in prison on Virgon.

Kara had to read it twice to take it in. 

It was an old conviction. Eight years ago. She looked at the date of the trial, and blinked, then looked down at the notes she’d made on Zak. The date of his arrest, and the date of Lee’s trial, were the same. Was that a coincidence?

There was nothing else in Lee’s police file, no arrests, not even a caution. Maybe it had been a one-off, a youthful mistake. He would only have been twenty. But arson...it was a serious offence. Not like shoplifting, or a bar fight.

Frustratingly, there were no further details, even though Lee had been an adult...but of course, it had happened on Virgon, so the full records would be on their system. All the Caprican system showed was the fact of the offence. She saw that Felix had added a note to say that he’d requested the full records from Virgon and would send them on to her when he received them.

Kara slammed down the lid of the laptop. She walked over to the window, tapping her fingers against her leg and wishing desperately for a smoke.

She needed the full story now, damn it. Needed to know the reasons behind Lee’s conviction, if there was any…excuse? Justification? 

Kara winced internally. Was she being too harsh? Many people made huge mistakes when they were young; gods knew she’d made plenty herself, and only luck had kept her out of serious trouble a couple of times. Plus she’d sat through enough court cases to know that the decisions passed down weren’t always correct, or fair, or took mitigating circumstances into account. 

Why did she feel so angry? She leant her forehead against the glass, and forced herself to dig down to the roots of her feelings, in a way she rarely allowed herself to do.

It wasn’t that Lee had been in prison. That he had broken the law. It was that he hadn’t told her about it himself.

Which was ludicrous, because why should he? They barely knew each other. That was the whole point of a casual, no-strings relationship, that you didn't have to share all the dark corners of your past. She had no right to be angry that he hadn’t told her about this.

Maybe it was a good thing this had happened. A timely reminder that she didn’t know Lee at all, not really. She’d been foolish last night, staying until morning because she’d felt so warm and secure lying in his arms that she hadn’t wanted to leave. Almost as bad as holding Lee’s hand at dinner and telling him they were friends. Spilling her secrets.

He certainly hadn’t returned the favour, had he? 

_ That _ was the reason she was aching to smash her fist into the wall. That she had let down her guard and trusted him, talked about a time in her life she rarely discussed with anybody, but he had given her nothing of himself in return. As if she wasn’t important enough to tell.

Kara closed her eyes and took long deep breaths, trying to ease the crushing pressure in her chest. This was exactly why she should never have been such a frakking idiot as to leave him her phone number. 

\---

Spring had not arrived at the Orestes Pass. Snow crunched under Lee’s feet as he followed Jean towards the tiny rangers’ hut, which huddled against a rock wall at the edge of the empty gravelled car park. In a few weeks, this place would be packed with walkers competing to be the first of the year to successfully cross the pass, but now the only other vehicle was Kat’s truck. 

She was playing cards when they entered, looking up with a scowl from a complicated version of solitaire. Lee didn’t take it personally; Kat scowled at everyone.

There was no-one else in the room. 

“He’s down in the cellar,” said Jean.

“That’s a grand word for it.” The hut had been built raised on wooden stilts, so that the heavy snows never blocked the door, and a few years ago the stilts had been joined with wooden slat walls to create an enclosed space for storage. It had been used as a temporary cell before, when Harry, one of Jean’s first recruits here, had started helping himself to the goods he was supposed to be transporting. It had not been a wise move.

“He must be freezing.”

Kat shrugged. “I left him his coat and gloves.” 

_ If he dies of hypothermia, that would solve the problem _ . The thought was plain to read on Jean’s face.

Lee was careful not to let his revulsion show on his own. “How do you want to play this?”

“I’ll take lead, you chip in,” said Jean, careful to keep her voice low. The floor certainly wasn’t soundproof. “Kat, give us ten minutes then call me away. Go in hard with the sympathy once you’re alone Lee, he should be well softened up by then.”

Lee nodded. Jean opened the trapdoor in the floor of the hut and Lee lowered down the ladder that was propped against one wall. Kat drew her gun and moved to cover Jean’s back as she descended the ladder. Lee waited until she signalled to him before following. Kat closed the trapdoor above him.

Billy Keikeya was huddled in a corner of the small space. Looking at him Lee thought their precautions had been unnecessary at first; his face was dead white apart from the dark rings under his eyes, and he was shivering uncontrollably despite being wrapped in blankets. As Jean turned up the lantern that provided the only light in the room, Lee could see Billy’s face more clearly, and noted the yellowing bruises. He hadn’t let them take him without a fight.

“What do you want?” he asked, through chattering teeth.

“Just a little conversation,” said Jean.

“I’ve told you everything you wanted to know.” 

“Really? I’m not so sure about that.” Jean carefully drew her hunting knife out of the pocket of her jacket and laid it next to the lantern. The finely honed edges glinted sharp in the lamplight. 

Lee watched Billy closely as he looked at the knife, and saw a stubborn spark flare in his eyes.

_ He hasn’t given up the fight yet. Good. _

“I think maybe you just need the right incentive to find some more words,” continued Jean.

Lee recognised his cue. 

“No need to be so crude,” he said, stepping forward and smiling at Billy. “No wonder Mr Keikeya is wary of speaking, if this is how you have been treating him.”

“I’ve treated him well enough. Food, water, blankets; I haven’t even restrained him. More than fair, considering he was spying on us for the CSS-”

“I wasn’t spying!”

Lee turned his focus on Billy. “Weren’t you? Why were you watching us at the hut, then? Taking photos?”

“I’m a reporter. A travel writer.”

“Who just happened to stumble across our operation? You expect us to believe it was all a coincidence?” Jean’s glare could have cut through steel.

“Is that what you’re saying, Mr Keikeya?” Lee kept his voice soothing and reasonable. “It was a coincidence?”

“Yes. I was taking some shots of the views around the hut for my story. It wasn’t until I saw Mr Leroux that I realised-”

“How did you recognise him?”

Billy looked wary. “Seen him on the news.”

“You know, I find that hard to believe, Mr Keikeya.” Lee crouched down to look the man directly in the eyes. “As Mark makes it his business to keep his name and face out of the news wherever possible. Only someone who has made a study of our...movement would recognise him as quickly as you appear to have.” Billy must have recognised him without needing to run an online search to check. Laura’s people would have flagged up any such search.

Bright colour flushed Billy’s cheeks, and his eyes dropped down to the ground. Lee left him for a few moments, and then prodded. “Well? Am I right?”

“Yes.” It was a mutter of resignation. “I studied politics at university, and I was fascinated by Tom Zarek. Read all I could about his ideas and his supporters. Everyone who was involved with the attack he was jailed for.”

Which included Mark, although he’d been a teenager at the time. Mark had been with Zarek from the beginning.

“So you recognised Mark, and came back to the cabin the next day. Why? Why not call the police?” That puzzled Lee. Billy Keikeya seemed the law-abiding type to him.

“I thought...maybe I could get a scoop out of it, a story that would get me noticed. I want to be a political reporter-”

“Shut the frak up,” Jean snarled. “Do you think I’m a fool? You wouldn’t put your life at risk just for a story. You’re government, aren’t you, you’re Colonial Security Service.” She picked up the knife.

Billy’s eyes homed in on the cold shimmer of the blade. Lee could see him start to sweat.

“I’m not lying, I promise you. I’m not CSS!”

“Let’s see if you’re as certain of that with a few less fingers.”

Jean stepped forward, face implacable, as Kat pulled open the trapdoor with exquisite timing. She had obviously been able to hear every word they said. Lee took note of that. He thought quickly as Kat and Jean played out their prearranged words, and Jean climbed up the ladder. Finally the trapdoor fell shut, and the two men were alone.

Lee started talking, using all the usual soft phrases... _ let me help you out here...I can’t hold her back much longer...it’ll go easier if you’re straight with me… _

“I won’t tell you anything.” Billy’s words dropped like stones, the ripple breaking Lee’s smooth words. “I know you’re trying to play me between you. I’m not an idiot. You’ll...hurt me as easily as she will.”

He’d nearly said ‘kill me’. The starkness of Billy’s face left no room for doubt; the reporter knew exactly how much trouble he was in, and how little hope he had of getting out of it. Yet he had still not given in. Respect flared within Lee, and it cemented the decision he had made before coming here.

“Listen to me. Listen closely,” he said, and leaned forward so that he could whisper in Billy’s ear. “The boards in the corner behind you are loose. You can pull them out.” Lee had taken that precaution some time ago, after Jean had imprisoned Harry down here, thinking that if his luck ever ran out, he might be the one locked up and in need of an escape route.

He raised his voice again. “If you do work for the CSS, the best thing you could do is come clean. You’d be valuable, as a bargaining chip.” He dropped back to a whisper, and gave Billy a few swift directions. “Someone will be waiting for you there. Say Apollo sent you.” 

Lee moved backwards, straightening up. Billy’s mouth was gaping open. He looked as if he was about to speak, but Lee shook his head firmly. 

“If you persist in claiming to be a reporter...well, a reporter is no use to anyone.” He fell silent, as if he was giving Billy time to consider, sent the other man a questioning look.  _ Do you understand? _

Billy still looked bewildered, but determination rose through it. He nodded, once.

“Do you have anything to say?” asked Lee, putting a finger over his lips. “Maybe you need some thinking time. But don’t think too long. You don’t have time to waste.” He reached up to knock on the trapdoor, and could see the other man had caught his meaning.

He’d done what he could, Lee thought, as he climbed up the ladder. The rest was up to Billy.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finished the initial draft of this now - although the end needs more work! - so updates may speed up a little.


	13. Chapter 13

_ Virgon, eight years ago _

Arriving at the courthouse, Lee is sent to a small room in the lower levels to wait until their case is called. He finds Gianne and Robert already there.

Gianne takes one look at him and gets to her feet, her eyes dark pools of concern.

“What’s wrong?”

Lee struggles to even form the words, but somehow he forces them out.

“Mom’s dead.”

The next few minutes are a blur; the whole world has been smudged out of focus since he got Zak’s call outside the courthouse. Lee is vaguely aware of Gianne pushing him gently down onto a chair, and pressing a bottle of water into his hand.

“Drink, Lee. You look like you’re going to pass out.” He clings to the calm certainty of her voice, in this reality suddenly tilted on its axis, and drinks. Gianne removes the bottle when he’s finished and replaces it with a cereal bar. 

“Eat it.” He does, although every mouthful tastes like cardboard. He’s still out on the street, listening to Zak’s desperate voice.

“Can you talk now?” asks Gianne when he’s finished. “What happened?”

“It was an accident. She was drunk...really drunk, the worst bender Zak had ever seen her on. Zak had found some of her stash, he was in the kitchen pouring it down the sink, and she came in and caught him, and she started yelling at him and grabbing the bottles, and…”

Lee can see it all so clearly in his head as he says it. He went through a similar scene himself, years ago...how could he have left Zak alone to deal with her, how could he? Selfish bastard, thinking only of himself…

“Lee!” He gets the impression that it isn’t the first time Gianne has said his name. “What happened?”

“They fought over the bottle. Zak pushed her, and Mom slipped and fell, and she...banged her head on the kitchen counter as she went down. Zak called an ambulance, but she died before it arrived.” He looks down at his hands, realising that they’re shaking. “Can you imagine it, Gi? Him sitting there with her, all alone, while she died?”

“It’s awful. I’m so sorry, Lee.” She takes both his hands in her own. Soft, warm and steady, soothing the trembling. Lee closes his eyes, breathing in her familiar scent. They’ve been strained and distant since the day of the bombing, but that doesn’t seem to matter now. The old Gianne is back, the caring, capable girl he fell in love with, and in the reassuring steadiness of her touch, the world begins to steady.

“That isn’t the worst of it.” He opens his eyes, leans back a little so he can see her face. “The cops think it wasn’t an accident. They arrested Zak. He was calling me from the police station. He’s all alone, Gi, and I can’t go to him, I can’t-”

“Lee, stop.” Her hands grip his so tightly that Lee winces, but the pain grounds him. “Take a breath. Breathe with me.”

Lee can’t at first. He’s shaking all over now, and he can’t stop. He feels like a clock wound too far, that will fly apart with one more twist of the key. But Gianne keeps talking, making him count breaths with her, and he follows the rolling contours of her voice, letting her bring him down from the jagged heights.

“I need to help him,” Lee gasps, when he’s able to talk again. “He’s my little brother, he needs me and I have to go-”

“You can’t go, Lee. If you try to leave the courthouse, they’ll arrest you.” 

Lee knows that, but hearing her say it so bluntly drives the harsh fact home, nails spearing through his flesh.

“You can go after the trial.” It’s Robert’s voice. Lee had almost forgotten he was there. 

He won’t. Lee can see that in Gianne’s face, and he knows it himself, after sitting through yesterday afternoon’s evidence. The trial will probably finish today, and they’ll be leaving in a prison van.

He can’t go to Zak, and it’s his own stupid fault for being so reckless, so careless...what the frak was he thinking, all those months? It’s as if he was living in a dreamworld....and now Zak is having to pay for it...

“Who else can go?”

Lee blinks at Gianne. “What?”

“You can’t go, so who can you send instead? Your father?”

Lee shakes his head. “I left a message for him, but I don’t know where Galactica is, it could be days before he gets it, and days more to get to Caprica.”

“What about his girlfriend and her parents? I thought they were keeping an eye on Zak.”

“They’re away visiting family on Picon.”

“Call them at lunchtime. I know they won’t let us have our phones back, but they’ll let you use the courthouse phone if you say it’s a family emergency. See if they can come back from Picon. Okay?”

“Okay.” It’s a sensible plan. Lee grasps at it like a lifebelt.

“And...I’m sorry about your mom, Lee.” Gianne leans forward to kiss his cheek, eyes warm and soft.

_ Oh.  _

He was so consumed with the immediate problem, with Zak’s need for help, that he hadn’t thought-

_ Mom is dead. _

The words don’t make sense, don’t compute in his brain. 

Shouldn’t he be crying? He should be crying. He should be-

All he feels is numb. 

“Lee.” Again he has the feeling that it isn’t the first time Gianne has said his name. She is looking at her watch. “They should be calling us in soon. Can you keep it together, Lee?”

\---

Lee does, although he has no memory afterwards of anything that happened in the trial that day. He sits in the dock between Gianne and Robert, feeling as if his shirt and tie is choking him, meaningless voices washing over him as he stares at the clock, willing the hands to move faster.

Court breaks for lunch, and he asks for his phone call. They lead him away from Gianne and Robert to an office where a red-haired woman gets up from a desk and shows him how to request an off-planet call. The officer of the court who escorted him waits outside, but the red-haired woman stays in the office, standing by the wall.

Lee forgets she is there once he gets through to Meg. He explains what’s happened, and she can’t believe it at first, and then she starts crying, so hard that her dad takes the phone and he has to explain all over again, and Meg’s dad keeps asking him to repeat everything and saying how sorry he is and Lee wants to scream at him to just help Zak, and chokes it back, but it’s all right in the end because Meg’s dad agrees to go back to Caprica early and help however he can, and when he ends the call Lee’s whole body shakes with relief and he has to close his eyes to right himself-

“Sounds like your brother is in a tight spot.”

For a moment Lee can’t think who has spoken, but then he remembers the red-haired woman.

He looks up. She’s watching him with an odd expression. It’s mostly sympathetic, but there’s something else beneath it, something harder.

“He’ll be ok when our friends get there.” He has to believe that.

“Does he have a lawyer?”

The question crashes down on Lee like a brick wall, because he hadn't thought of that, how could he not have thought of that, and what an idiot he is, he’s wasted his opportunity because the clock tells him the lunchtime recess is almost over-

“I see he doesn’t,” says the woman. She looks Lee over, as if she’s a general inspecting a soldier. He shifts uncomfortably under the scrutiny, wondering what she’s looking for.

“Who are you? Do you work here?”

“I do today.” She stares at him a little longer, and then nods, as if she’s come to a decision. “My name is Laura.”

“Just Laura?”

“For now.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I can get your brother a lawyer, Lee. Someone who can make sure the charges against him are dropped. If you want me to.”

“How do you know my name?”

Another half-smile. “I know a lot of things, and I know a lot of people. I’m not lying to you when I say I can make sure your brother goes free.”

Lee rubs his eyes, trying to force his brain to work, but it’s fuzzy and sluggish, as if his head is packed with cotton wool. Too many shocks in quick succession.

“Why would you do that? What do you want in return?”

“At the moment, nothing.”

“But you’ll want something eventually.” Lee meets her eyes. They are uncomfortably penetrating, as if she can see every secret he has.

“Yes. I think you could be very useful to me, Lee. But today is not the time to discuss it. I need your mind to be clear when we do.” Laura takes a step towards him. She’s not tall, but she seems to loom over him, her presence filling the whole room. “For now...I will help your brother, and in return, when we next see each other, I will make you a proposal, and you will give it your serious consideration.”

Lee waits for more, but she is silent. He frowns at her. “That’s all?”

“For now.”

There’s a catch. Lee knows there’s a catch, knows he’s probably agreeing to something he shouldn’t be, but he’s too tired to puzzle it out. Too exhausted to care. Does it matter, anyway? She’s offered to help Zak, and however unsettling she is, Lee believes she’ll keep her word. 

That’s all that matters really, helping Zak. For himself...he’s screwed up his life anyway. He’s going to jail, no escaping that. What does it matter, if he makes a promise he doesn’t fully understand?

“We have a deal,” he tells Laura, and shakes her hand when she offers it. Her hand is smooth and cool to the touch.

“Good. I look forward to seeing you again, Lee.” She smiles again, and for the first time there’s a hint of warmth.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who has commented, I really enjoy reading your speculation on the plot. Hope you continue to enjoy the story. Less pining this time, but lots of Adama family drama.

_ Caprica, present day _

Felix called not long after Kara finished reading through the information he’d sent.

“I should have the checks on the other two park rangers tomorrow.”

“Great. Thanks for doing all this.”

“No need to thank me. You did everyone in the department a huge favour, even if not everyone sees it that way.”

“They wouldn’t like it if they knew you were helping me.” Kara felt obliged to say things like this every so often, to give Felix an out if he wanted one.

“I don’t care. In fact, if I can help you and give them the metaphorical finger at the same time, so much the better.”

Kara laughed. Felix was so serious most of the time, his sly jokes always took her by surprise.

“Did you flag the photo of Leroux?” she asked.

“Yes, but I’ve had no response. Which means either the CSS don’t think it’s serious, or…”

“...they already know he’s here,” finished Kara with a sigh. Was she going to have to start keeping an eye out for potential security agents now on top of everything else?

“No need for the sighs, Kara. You know you’re loving all this.”

“Shut up, Felix.” Kara scowled at her phone, but she couldn’t deny the accusation. She felt more alive than she had in years. She had forgotten the exhilaration of being on the hunt like this. “Did you get any more information about the Adamas?”

“Not about Zak. His records are locked down tight, and the officer who arrested him died years ago. Nothing in the news archives either. You’ll have to ask him directly.”

Kara pulled a face. Knowing Zak, he’d either clam up or tell her to frak off. Maybe Meg would be a better target. If she’d been with Zak since high school, she must know what had happened.

Felix was still talking. “I had more luck with Lee Adama. There was a report of Lee’s case in the Virgon news archives, and his full record from the Virgon penal database also gave more information. I’m emailing you the files now.”

Kara’s laptop beeped as the message arrived. “Got it,” said Kara, opening the message. “Go on.”

“Lee was arrested with two other people - a man named Robert Kerr and a woman called Gianne Larsen. They were all students at Boskirk University.” 

Gianne. Kara remembered Meg mentioning that name. Lee’s girlfriend who had died. It must be the same person, surely?

She opened the news article Felix had sent, and found it included photos of all three defendants. Gods, Lee looked so young. She’d known he had been barely twenty when all this had happened, but the photo really brought it home. Far too young to be on trial, or sent to prison. Still, at twenty she had been a beat cop, dealing with petty criminals and drug dealers. Probably she’d been too young to be doing that, although she hadn’t thought so at the time.

The other two seemed to be a similar age. Gianne had blonde curls, a sharp smile, and very dark eyes. Robert was red-haired with a beard, his wide blue eyes bewildered. Kara stared at Gianne’s face for a few moments, wondering what she had been like. 

“As you can see, the article gives more details on the offence.” Felix’s voice buzzed in her ear. “They set fire to a government building, the...municipal planning office.”

“I suppose that explains why Lee got two years, if it was a government building. I thought it seemed a long time for a first offence.”

“He got out after eighteen months, according to the penal record. Early parole for good behaviour.”

Kara tried to keep her voice even as she asked the next question, as if the answer didn’t matter. “Were they guilty?”

“Definitely. The police caught them leaving the building as the fire took hold. It was a straightforward case.”

Ah well. She’d known it was a slim hope.

“Any indication why they did it?”

“The news report portrayed it as a student prank gone too far. There had been a spate of arson attacks in the previous year, all on university or government buildings. The three of them weren’t charged with the other instances, but it seems to have been agreed that they were behind it.”

“Why?” Kara had struggled with the idea that Lee had a prison record, and she struggled even more with the picture of him as a serial arsonist. “And why official buildings?”

“The article I sent you mentioned they were all members of the CPE.”

“CPE?” Kara had heard that before, but a long time ago. She had vague memories of people shaking placards outside the law courts when she was a rookie.

“Campaign for Planetary Equality. It was a very popular movement back then, lots of students were members. Mostly it was all law-abiding; petitions and peaceful demonstrations, but there were a few people who took it further.”

“So it looks as if Lee was a politically active student who took protesting too far and ended up with a criminal record, but has never been in trouble again?” 

She could make sense of that. Was Lee even interested in politics any more? She couldn’t remember ever discussing it with him.

“Maybe…”

“What?” Kara didn’t like Felix’s tone.

“Well...the accountancy firm Lee works for...they don’t have the best reputation.”

“What does that mean? They’re crooked?”

“Potentially. They’ve never been charged with anything, but some of their practices sail close to the edge of legality, and their clients are the kind of people who like to keep their finances private.”

“Shady characters?”

“Definitely. It’s not the kind of place someone would work unless they had...flexible morals, shall we say.”

Kara closed her eyes as her hopes plummeted again. Suddenly all those accountancy jokes didn’t seem quite so funny. Again, it was hard to imagine Lee working somewhere like that. He’d always seemed so open and reliable…but it could all be an act. She’d met enough people who seemed to be the soul of respectability on the surface but had murky depths beneath. But Lee…

_ You don’t know Lee. Get it through your thick head. You like him, and he’s a good frak, and neither of those things means anything. Lords of Kobol, you’ve picked your share of lousy men in the past _ .

“And there’s one more thing that’s odd.”

Kara’s heart sank to her boots. “What?”

“I looked up Robert and Gianne, to see what had happened to them, and they’re both dead.”

“How?” Meg had said Gianne died in a car accident. 

“Gianne was killed in a car crash about five years ago, and Robert committed suicide while in prison for the arson offence.”

“Neither sounds suspicious.”

“I know. But it just seems...odd. That of three young people, only one is still alive eight years later.”

“Are you suggesting Lee killed them?” It came out harsher than Kara meant it to.

“No, of course not. But it’s…”

“Odd. I get it.” Kara scowled and looked down again at Gianne’s photo.

\---

Kara found Meg in the dining room, surrounded by a sea of paper and wearing a harassed expression. 

“I’m finalising this month’s accounts before Lee checks them over,” she explained, in reply to Kara’s raised eyebrows. “Did you want me?”

“Yes, but I can wait if you need to finish this.”

“I’m nearly there. Give me five minutes.”

Kara took the seat opposite Meg and flicked through the local news headlines while she waited, in case there was any news on Billy, but there was nothing, good or bad.

Meg gave a long sigh. “There! All done.” She put down her calculator, and gathered up the sheets of paper into one neat stack. “I’m all yours.”

Kara had considered how best to tactfully approach the subject, and decided that there was no good way. This was the problem when you mixed friends and business.

“As part of my investigation into Billy Keikeya’s disappearance, I’ve run background checks on everyone in the hotel. Mainly to see if anyone has a criminal record. It’s standard procedure.”

“I see.” Meg looked puzzled, and Kara sighed inwardly. She was going to have to spell it out.

“When I say everyone...I mean everyone. Staff as well as guests. And something came up that I need to ask you about.”

“Me? I don’t have so much as a parking ticket…” Kara saw the pieces click into place as Meg trailed off.

“But Zak does.”

Meg straightened in her chair, and lifted her chin. “Zak’s never been charged with a crime.”

“But he was arrested for something. Trouble is, the records are sealed because he was a minor.” Meg’s face was furious and betrayed, and Kara forced herself to finish. “I was hoping you could fill in the gaps.”

“It’s none of your business.” Kara had never imagined Meg could sound so cold.

“When I’m working a case, everything is my business.” Kara tried a self-deprecating smile. “I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”

Meg leaned forward, her eyes narrowing. “I’ll tell you the way it is, Kara,” she snapped. “I don't talk about my boyfriend’s private affairs behind his back. All I will say is that what happened had absolutely nothing to do with the SFM.”

All trace of Meg’s usual easy-going demeanour had melted away, revealing a fiercely protective woman Kara didn’t recognise. Still, Kara wasn’t so easily deterred.

“That’s your opinion. I’d prefer to form my own.”

“It’s my opinion too,” said Lee’s voice behind her.

Kara’s throat tightened as she turned to look at him. 

“Meg’s right. What happened with Zak has nothing to do with your case.” Lee’s face was also one she hadn’t seen before; a hard mask, except for the anger sparking in his eyes. “It was a family matter.”

Kara kept her voice easy and calm. “As I said to Meg...why don’t you tell me the story and let me be the judge.”

She caught a quick flicker of a glance between Meg and Lee before they both shook their heads.

“No. It’s Zak’s private business.”

“Fair enough.” Kara got to her feet. “I’ll ask him directly, then.”

“No!”

“You can’t do that!”

The force of their reactions took Kara by surprise. Not the anger - she’d expected that - but underneath was something else. They were both horrified...no they were  _ afraid _ . But afraid of what?

“I won’t let you say a word to him,” Lee snapped.

His arrogant tone riled Kara. “You do not tell me what to do, Lee.”

Lee stepped closer, getting right up in her face. His eyes blazed into hers. “I do when it comes to Zak.” 

“No, you don’t,” Kara put a hand on his chest to hold him back. “This is my case, and I’ll ask any questions I damn well please.” 

“Kara.”

Lee’s eyes swung to Meg as she spoke, and Kara almost staggered backwards at the loss of contact, like the sting of shock from static electricity. 

“Kara, please don’t ask Zak about this.” All the anger had drained from Meg’s face, and she looked almost pleading. “For all the years you’ve been friends with us...please don’t ask him about it.” She paused, swallowing hard. “It’ll upset him.”

Three bare words, but Kara sensed a whole world hanging on them. She thought of all the years she had known Zak and Meg, of Zak’s black moods, his ‘bad spells’.

“Meg’s right.” Lee was looking at her with the same pleading expression. “Please, Kara. Do what she says.”

Kara sighed, seeing the genuine distress on both their faces. She could see she wasn’t going to get any further, and if she pushed it, she could see she would alienate them altogether. Better to back off now, and try a different approach later.

“Do you both swear to me this has nothing to do with my case?”

They both swore, and Kara thought they were telling the truth, however much that meant. Neither of them were cops; they had no idea how often something seemingly irrelevant turned out to be crucial in solving a case. 

\---

Kara decided a swift retreat was prudent, so she left Meg and Lee with their accounts and went out to the car park for a smoke. She was halfway through when Zak opened the kitchen door and walked over to join her.

“Heard my guard dogs scaring you off.” He pulled a cigarette out of the back pocket of his jeans. “Got a light?”

Kara flicked on her lighter and held it out to him. “They’re very protective.”

Zak snorted as he leaned forward. “Bit late for that. They were nowhere to be seen at the time.” He lit up, and sighed. “No, I’m sorry, that’s unfair to Meg. She came back as soon as she heard. Unlike my dear brother.”

Zak straightened up, taking a long drag from his cigarette. He stared out towards the road for a few moments before his eyes swung back to Kara. “Do you want to hear the whole story?”

“Only if you’re happy to tell it,” said Kara. She shot a cautious glance towards the hotel, but they couldn’t be seen from the dining room here.

“It’s fine. I’m not quite as fragile as they like to think.” Zak shrugged, and took another drag of his cigarette. “It’s simple enough. I killed my mother.”

Kara choked. She bent over, coughing, as Zak watched her with wry amusement.

“Yep. Conversation stopper, isn’t it?”

Kara recovered her breath. She straightened up, slowly, her brain racing.

“Lost for words?”

“I have one. Explain.”

“Explain?” The harsh expression on Zak’s face faltered for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“Explain what really happened,” said Kara, fixing him with a stern glare as she stubbed out her cigarette. “Because I sure as hell don’t believe you’re a murderer.”

Zak’s face was soft and bewildered. “Why do you say that?”

“Because I’ve known you for years, Zak Adama, and you’re not that kind of person.” Kara bumped his arm, and his eyes met hers in astonished gratitude.

“Now spill,” she ordered, lighting another cigarette to give him a chance to gather himself.

“Well, you’re right,” said Zak, his voice hoarse. “It was an accident. My mom…there’s no glossing over it; my mom was an alcoholic.” He sighed, blowing out smoke. “She started drinking after her divorce, and she only got worse as the years went on.” He took another drag, staring up at the sky. “She tried to get sober, every so often. Support groups, rehab...it would work for a while, but then she’d slip back again. And when she was drunk, she wasn’t the nicest person to be around.”

“Was she violent?” asked Kara, thinking of her own mother. She flexed her hand unconsciously.

“Not really...she was just very aggressive, verbally. She’d get right up in your face and scream at you. It could get intimidating.”

Kara remembered her own mother screaming in her face, the spittle landing on her nose, in her mouth. She nodded.

“When I was younger, Lee would send me upstairs, or out of the house. I could still hear her, but...he shielded me far more than I realised.”

“Isn’t that what big brothers are supposed to do?”

Kara thought the words would lighten the mood, but instead they had the opposite effect. Zak’s face darkened, lines deepening in his face. 

“You’d think. But then he left, didn’t he? Left me on my own with her.” He stubbed his cigarette out against the brick wall and sighed. “That’s not fair. He had to go to Virgon. It was the only place that offered him a scholarship. And he came back, the first time things got bad again. Told Meg’s parents what was happening, so I had somewhere to go. But then-”

He fell silent, staring up at the sky again, although Kara had the feeling he was seeing something else.

“And then?”

“It was summer break. Meg and her parents had gone to visit family in Picon. Lee didn’t come home, he said he couldn’t afford it. And Mom...I started to see the signs. That the drinking was starting again. I knew all the places she hid her alcohol. Lee had told me. So while she was at work I pulled the bottles out and started pouring them down the sink. But she came home early.” His eyes were wide and glassy, looking into the past. “She started yelling at me. Grabbed the bottles. I tried to stop her. I was so angry, and so tired of it all, I couldn’t bear to go through the whole cycle again...so I yelled back at her, and I hung on to the bottles and tried to stop her taking them, and we were pulling back and forth...and then…” His words were speeding up. Kara wondered how many times he had played this scene in his head, over and over, trying to pinpoint what had happened. “She screamed right in my face, and it startled me, and I let go. She wasn’t expecting it, and she staggered backwards, and the floor was wet where the bottles had spilled, and she slipped. She fell, and she hit the back of her head on the kitchen counter as she went down.”

Zak dropped to the ground, as if his legs couldn’t hold him any more. Kara squatted next to him, trying to hide the pity she felt for that long-gone teenage boy. She didn’t think Zak would appreciate it.

“Was that what killed her?” Sometimes one unlucky blow in the wrong place was all it took. Kara had seen it before.

“Yeah. I called an ambulance, but she was gone by the time they got there.” Zak’s voice was grey, leached of all emotion.

“And the cops arrested you.”

“They thought I did it on purpose. Or might have done. I wasn’t...very coherent. So they took me to the station and kept me in a cell overnight. Luckily a lawyer showed up next morning - I think Meg’s parents sent her - and she got me out of there. Then the forensic reports proved my story, so I was never charged.”

“That’s a tough thing to go through,” said Kara, keenly aware of the understatement. “Is that why…”

“Meg worries about me so much?” Zak sent her a wry smile. “She has reason. It messed my head up big time, and I didn’t deal with it very well. If it hadn’t been for Meg and her parents I would be dead now, or still in psychiatric care. They got me help and supported me until I felt better, and they’ve been there through every black spell I’ve had since. I owe them more than I can ever repay.”

“They sound like amazing people.” Kara felt a pang of envy, although she supposed she’d found that unquestioning support for herself with Karl.

“Better than my own family, that’s for sure,” said Zak, acid and bitter. “Oh, my father showed up to arrange the funeral and make sure the charges were dropped, but then he was back off to his ship, once Meg’s parents had agreed to look after me.” He looked at Kara’s face, his mouth twisting. “Yeah. And you know what, he actually showed more concern than Lee. I phoned him in pieces from the police station - he was the first person I thought to call for help - and he didn’t come home. Didn’t even call me back. He turned up at the funeral service, but he left after the wake and barely spoke to me. Don’t think I saw him after that for two years.” Zak laughed, and the sound made Kara wince. “Suppose he thought he’d done his part when we were kids. Wanted to live his own life without his needy little brother weighing him down.”

“I don’t think it was that,” said Kara, wanting to ease the pain evident in his face. “Not entirely. I mean, Lee couldn’t come while he was in prison, could he?”

She saw Zak freeze. He turned his head towards her with infinite slowness. 

“What?”

“They probably only let him out on a compassionate pass for the funeral. That’s why he didn’t stay.”

Zak was staring at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. “What? Lee’s never been in prison.”

Understanding broke over Kara with the force of a tidal wave.

“You didn’t know.” 

“Is it true?” 

So many emotions were sweeping over Zak’s face that Kara couldn’t keep track.

“Yes. I pulled his police record when I did yours. He served nearly two years in prison on Virgon, and the date of his trial was the same day that you were arrested. I noticed it matched.” She paused, but Zak said nothing. “You said he didn’t call you back. He may not have been allowed phone privileges at first.”

Zak was still silent, lost in a train of thought. 

“Why didn’t he tell me?” he breathed finally, almost to himself.

Kara couldn’t answer that. 

“I’m sorry to have dropped this on you, Zak. I thought you knew.”

That comment seemed to rouse Zak out of his stupor. His eyes sparked. “Of course you would,” he said, anger rising with each word. “You would assume that his own brother would know. Frakking Lee. He’s never been one for sharing, but this...” He rose to his feet, his movements purposeful and determined. 

“I am sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Kara. I’m glad you told me.” Zak turned to walk back inside but paused, one hand on the kitchen door. “What was the charge?”

“Arson. On a government building.”

Kara could see from Zak’s face that it made little sense to him, and that cheered her. If Lee’s own brother was as puzzled as she was, then maybe she did know Lee better than she thought.

“Looks like we’re long overdue for a brotherly chat,” said Zak, face grim, and disappeared inside.

\---

“Any news?” Lee asked.

“Good afternoon to you, too,” said Laura, carefully untangling a fishing line. “Have you come to help?”

Lee recognised it was a request not a suggestion, and picked up a rod to start taking it apart. “Did he get out?”

Laura looked disapproving, but Lee couldn’t help his urgency. It was nearly six hours since he’d left Billy Keikeya at the Pass, and part of his mind had stayed with the man all that time, wondering if he’d seized the lifeline Lee had held out to him, or whether...

Laura sent one last irritated glance at his face and relented. “Yes, Lee. He got out. My people picked him up an hour ago. They’re driving him back to the city as we speak.”

“That’s…”

He couldn’t find the words. So much of his work was long-term, persevering toward goals he could barely see. To have made a real, concrete difference…

“I know, Lee.” For once Laura gave him a full smile rather than her usual amused quirk of the lips. “It’s good to have a clear win for once, isn’t it? Although let’s hope you didn’t blow your cover.”

“I don’t see how. All I did was whisper in his ear.”

“Perhaps. But as you are so fond of reminding me, Jean is not a fool.” Laura zipped up the bag containing her rods and passed it to Lee to carry up to the hotel. “Any other developments?”

Lee sighed, hefting the bag on his shoulder. “Kara got the background checks. She asked Meg about Zak’s arrest, but we fobbed her off. No doubt I’ll be next for the inquisition, once she sees my criminal record.”

“What’s the problem with that? You’ve been spinning that tale for years, it must be second nature by now.”

“It is.”

“Then why is it a problem?”

“It isn’t.” Lee didn’t like the way Laura was looking at him.

“Is it because of your...personal relationship with Kara?”

“I knew you didn’t approve.” Lee was glad the deepening shadows must hide his face.

“It’s not a question of approval,” said Laura impatiently. “Gods know we all need stress relief in this job, and it wasn’t an issue before now. It’s unfortunate she became involved in this.”

“To put it mildly.” Something in the quality of Laura’s silence flicked Lee on the raw. “I’ll handle her, Laura. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worrying.”

Lee stalked away with the bag before he said something he would regret. 

He could lie to Kara, he told himself, as he walked up the path towards the hotel. He had told so many lies to so many people over the years he had lost count, and the boundary of truth and lies had long since blurred. What did a few more lies matter? 

They didn’t. So why was he dreading telling them? 

He supposed it was that...it had felt so good to have one person in his life outside all of this, one person who knew nothing about him. He hadn’t needed to lie to Kara, because they always spoke of inconsequential things, of sports teams and the best pizza toppings and the annoying habits of people in coffee shops. 

The loss of that hurt much more than he had expected.

\---

There was someone lying in wait when he and Laura reached the hotel, but it wasn’t Kara. It was Zak, with a look in his eyes that was both angry and wounded. It triggered all Lee’s internal alarms when it came to his brother, and he didn’t protest when Zak insisted they talk in private.

They went up to Lee’s room. Zak was visibly buzzing with impatience, and as soon as Lee closed the door behind them he burst into speech.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had been in prison?”

Lee gasped with shock, feeling as if he had been plunged into icy water.

“What?” His legs felt weak, and he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“It’s true then,” said Zak, watching his face. He pulled out the chair from the desk and sat down.

“Yes. Who told you?” Stupid question, but it gave Lee time to think.

“Kara. She said the reason you didn’t come back to Caprica after...after Mom died was that you were in prison. Is that true too?”

“Yes.”

Hurt and disbelief rippled over Zak’s face. “Why the frak didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t...Zak, you had so much to deal with over Mom’s death...you didn’t need any more drama on top of that. I thought it was better not to say anything.”

“You thought it was better.” Zak glared at him, his eyes flat and hard.

“Yes.” Lee remembered his brother at their mother’s funeral, pale and glassy-eyed, looking as though he were sleepwalking into a nightmare. He hadn’t needed the burden of Lee’s troubles on top of that.

“Well let me tell you, Lee, it wasn’t better.” Zak spat out the words, and Lee felt the impact of each like a bullet. “It wasn’t better thinking that my brother didn’t come to support me in the worst period of my life because he didn’t give a shit about me, rather than because he was physically locked up and unable to!” 

Lee stared at him with horror. He’d never thought of it that way before...surely Zak couldn’t have thought... 

“Zak, I never meant…”

“Then what did you mean, Lee? Did you think I wouldn’t notice you stayed away? How did you think I would feel about it?”

“I thought...you had Meg and her parents, I thought you’d be fine. You didn’t need to worry about me on top of everything else you had to deal with-”

“I thought you hated me, Lee.”

The quiet words sliced him open.

“What?”

“I thought you blamed me for Mom’s death. I thought that was why you stayed away, because you hated me for killing her.” Zak’s voice scraped like sandpaper, and his eyes were bright.

Lee couldn’t bear it. He scrabbled desperately for words.

“Zak...I promise you that’s not true. It was an accident. I never blamed you…”

“No, you didn’t, did you? I can see it in your face.” Zak spoke slowly, his eyes wide as he accepted it. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “What a frakking mess.”

“You really thought...of course you did. What else were you to think?” Lee could see it now, and it was so frakking obvious, of course Zak would think that, of course...he wished he could go back in time and kick his younger self for being such a blind fool. “I should have told you. I’m so sorry.” He paused. “How could I blame you, Zak? If anything, I blamed myself. For leaving you with her.”

“What else were you supposed to do? Put your life on hold until I finished school?” Zak sighed. “If anyone should have been there it was Dad, not you.”

They were silent for a moment, both lost in the past.

“Did Dad know? About your sentence?” asked Zak.

Lee nodded. “Who do you think arranged for me to get compassionate parole for the funeral? He had me whisked in and out of there with a military escort.”

“Why didn’t he tell me either?”

“And reveal the family shame? You know how Dad loves to keep everything on a need-to-know basis. Can’t let go of the military mind-set.” Lee tried to keep his tone light, but he couldn’t do it. He still had dreams about that trip from Virgon to Caprica for the funeral. The last time he’d seen his father.

“Is that why you stopped speaking?” Zak spoke slowly, obviously fitting the pieces together. “I thought you’d fallen out about Mom, about me…”

“No. He simply made it clear he had no room in his life for a son who was a convicted criminal.”

“Why were you sent to jail, anyway? What happened? Dear gods, Lee, you were the most law-abiding guy...you never even got a parking ticket.”

Lee took a deep breath and told the story. The story he was prepared to tell Kara, the story that as Laura had said, he had spun so many times over the years it had become second nature.  _ I got in with a bad crowd...we wanted to raise awareness about political injustices, but it went too far...I got dragged along and didn’t realise what I’d got into until it was too late…prison gave me the shock I needed and I pulled myself up, turned my life around... _

It wasn’t untrue. Like all the best lies, in many ways, it was exactly what had happened. It was just not the whole truth.

As the story progressed, the emotion gradually smoothed out of Zak’s face, and by the end he was watching Lee with surprising calm.

“That’s a very interesting story, Lee.”

Lee blinked at his brother’s choice of words. “That wouldn’t be the adjective I’d choose-”

“And it’s making me frakking furious, because you’re doing exactly the same thing all over again!”

Zak’s calm shattered as his voice rose. His brown eyes were burning into Lee’s. 

“What do you mean?” said Lee warily, feeling as if he’d stepped into quicksand.

“You’re lying to me again because you don’t want to worry me.”

_ How did Zak know? _ Lee reached for a denial, but Zak shook his head.

“Save your breath, Lee, it won’t work. I know you. We only had each other, really, growing up, and I know you. I’ve known something is off with you for years.”

“What? Why?” 

“You haven’t been the same since you came back from Virgon.” The anger faded from Zak’s face, leaving sadness behind. “Oh, you put up a good front, but I can tell. The accountancy, for a start. You hate it. Pushing money around for fat cats who have enough already...of course you hate it, and I have no idea why you’re doing it. It’s like that with everything...you’re living life on the surface, with nothing beneath. I can see it, and so can Meg, because we knew you before.” Lee tried to speak, but something in Zak’s face made the words die in his throat.

“The Lee we knew wasn’t like that. He cared about everything. Always had some issue he was passionate about, some cause to fight for...you don’t. You don’t seem to care about anything. It’s like...like the candle inside you was blown out and only a shadow left behind.”

Zak’s voice broke, and Lee felt as if he was being ripped apart. He’d never realised Zak saw him so clearly. 

“That’s why I get so angry when I see you. Because I know something is badly wrong with you and you won’t talk to me or trust me with it. You brush me off like I’m still your kid brother. But I'm not any more.”

“No. You’re not. You’re a man who fought his way through a hard time and made a success of his life...and you keep fighting every day, no matter how tough it is.” Lee forced the words through the tears in his throat. “I should...I should have told you before how proud I am of that.”

“That...that means a lot, Lee.” Now it was Zak who struggled to speak.

“I only wish I could say the same for myself.” 

“What happened, Lee?” Zak’s eyes fastened on his like magnets, desperate to understand. “I used to think it was Gianne’s death, but now...was it this? Was prison so bad? Did it wreck everything for you?”

“No. Prison could have been worse. I got through it. And it definitely wasn’t Gianne. It’s…”

“What, Lee? You can tell me.”

Lee laughed, overcome with bitterness at the irony. “I can’t. That’s the problem, Zak. I want to tell you...gods, how I wish I could tell you...but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Zak’s voice was ripe with frustration.

“Because I promised not to talk about it. To anyone.”  _ And it’s too dangerous. For you as well as for me _ . 

Lee held Zak’s gaze, trying to convey his sincerity, and was flooded with relief when his brother finally nodded.

“Okay, Lee. Okay. I won’t push you.”

Lee thought rapidly. “There are some things I can tell you.”

He told Zak about the trial. About getting his call, and the agony of not being able to go home to help him. About their dad, and the funeral. About prison, the nauseating combination of fear and boredom.

Zak told him about his battle with depression, his time in hospital. Lee had heard most of it before from Meg, but it was different hearing it from Zak directly. With every word, every story each of them told, he could feel the bond between them strengthening again, thread by thread.

“I wish we’d talked about this before,” he said, and Zak nodded in agreement.

“Meg kept telling me to talk to you.”

Lee smiled. “You’d think that after all these years we would have learnt to listen to her.”

“I’m going to propose to her.” Zak blurted out the words abruptly. “On her birthday.”

“That’s excellent. I’m so happy for you, Zak.” Lee grinned so widely he thought his face might split.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. She hasn’t said yes.” There was a trace of uncertainty on Zak’s face.

“She will,” said Lee, with years of big brother confidence, and Zak laughed.

They sat in peaceful silence, and Lee found himself spilling another secret; one that he could tell Zak.

“I’m sleeping with Kara.”

Zak chuckled. “I knew that.” He laughed harder at Lee’s incredulous expression. “Come on, Lee, I’ve never seen such blatant eye-frakking! Especially last night. I’m surprised you didn’t put the other guests off their dinner.”

“Not...not just this weekend. It’s been going on a while now.”

“How long?”

“Two years. We spent the night together after Karl’s birthday party, and since then...”

“ _ Two years _ ?” That did seem to surprise Zak. “You’ve been dating her for two years?”

“Not dating.” Lee explained, a flush creeping up his face. “More like friends with benefits. It’s very casual.”

“Of course it is. That’s how you roll.” Zak’s grin made Lee’s face even redder. “Casual’s your middle name.”

“We just hook up when we feel like it. Nothing more.”

“Uh-huh. I get it. You’re just frak buddies. Out for a good time. For two years.” 

“Yes. So?”

“Sure, Lee. I believe you.” Zak’s face was unbearably smug. “After all, I’ve watched you two together. I could see you don’t like her at all.”

“Shut up.”

“Yep, absolutely no feelings there. I could tell.” Zak lost the battle and dissolved into laughter.

“Frak off,” said Lee, as Zak continued to laugh. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know more than you,” said Zak, and Lee had to admit he was right.

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

_ Virgon & Caprica, eight years ago _

Lee is surprised to be granted compassionate parole to attend his mother’s funeral. He and Robert have been sent to a low security prison, given their previous clear record, their youth and their relatively short sentence - although at the moment two years stretch in front of Lee like a flat grey eternity - but they have only been there a few weeks, not enough time to earn privileges for good behaviour, and the funeral isn’t even on the same planet.

All becomes clear when the prison officers deliver him into the hands of two military guards at the spaceport. His father is behind all this, must have pulled some strings to get him here.

So his father knows.

About everything. The arrest, the trial, the conviction.

Logically Lee knew he must do - the university must have informed him, if nothing else - but as the months on parole awaiting trial had passed without any contact, any raging disappointed phone calls, he had begun to hope that maybe his father was so far out in deep space that the whole thing might pass him by.

Vain hope.

The guards lead him onto a military transport ship, and through to a small cabin. They uncuff one of his wrists, motion him to sit in one of the seats, and use the empty cuff to attach his wrist to the arm of the seat. Then they leave him alone, without a word spoken.

Despite the circumstances, Lee relishes the solitude and the silence. In prison, he is packed in with other men every hour of the day, and it is never quiet. Even at night, his cellmate is snoring, the cell doors clang, the guards call to each other, and sometimes he hears screaming. 

Lee has been left alone, other than a few blows and kicks in the exercise yard, and he knows he has Mark to thank for that. He has obviously spread the word on whatever secret grapevine he uses that Lee and Robert are under SFM protection and not to be harmed. 

Lee supposes he should be grateful, but he isn’t. He’s still too bitterly angry with Mark and Gianne - mainly Gianne, because he loved her and trusted her, and thought she felt the same - for dragging him into this whole mess.

No, dragging isn’t the right word. He’s just using it to make himself feel better about what happened. If he forces himself to face up to it, the truth is that he walked into this all by himself, of his own free will, because he was too blind and stupid to see what was in front of him.

He chose to get involved in active protest, even though he knew it could endanger his scholarship. He chose to start spraying graffiti and breaking windows, even though he knew it was illegal. He chose to trust Mark, even though his instincts had warned him against the man from the start. He chose to set fire to those buildings, even though he knew arson was a serious offence. 

He knew all these things, and he chose to act like a fool anyway...because he wanted to impress Gianne, because it was a way to let out all his anger at his parents, because he wanted to make a difference, to force change...for stupid, stupid reasons that don’t mean a frakking thing now.

He has no-one to blame but himself.

Of course, the moment Lee has reached this depressing conclusion, the cabin door opens and his father enters, wearing his worst face, the one he wears when he has gone past anger and disappointment into bitter contempt.

Lee sinks down into the hard seat and tries to calculate how many hours the journey to Caprica will take.

\---

All too many hours, it turns out, and his father spends most of them expelling all the fury he has been bottling up in however long it’s been since he found out about Lee’s crime. Mixed in with the anger is equal parts bewilderment.

“I can’t believe you’ve done something like this Lee. You’ve always been so responsible...”

_ What choice did I have except to be responsible? With you and Mom as parents? _

“At least your mother isn’t here to see what’s become of you. It would have broken her heart...”

Lee is doing his best to keep his face blank and impassive, but that makes him flinch. He still hasn’t quite processed that his mother is dead. In all his worry over Zak, in all the shock of the trial and of prison life, he’s barely had time to understand that she’s gone.

His father is still ranting. Lee lets it all flow over him, through him, as if he is transparent, a ghost, not really there.

A few times he thinks about shouting back, about defending himself, but what would be the point? His father won’t listen. He never listens.

_ This is your fault, _ he thinks, watching the flushes creep and recede over his father’s face, watching the muscles work in his throat.  _ I tried to tell you about Mom so many times. That she was a drunk, and mean when she drank, and unstable when she drank, but you wouldn’t listen. It didn’t fit your idealised image of her, so I must be exaggerating, and you wouldn’t listen. So you didn’t help us, and now Mom’s dead, and Zak killed her, and he’s going to have to live with that for the rest of his life. _

That was the worst of it. How was Zak going to deal with that? With having done that, even by accident?

_ It should have been me. It should have been me that killed her, not him. I’m the eldest, I’m supposed to protect him. _

_ I should have stayed. I shouldn’t have left him. _

That was his father’s fault too, because if he’d agreed to pay Lee’s tuition fees, then Lee could have studied on Caprica, and lived at home, and taken care of Mom and Zak as he had for so many years, and everything would be fine.

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Lee tunes back in to realise his father is glaring at him. “Don’t you have any defence for your behaviour?”

For a moment, Lee is tempted to let the rein loose on his temper, to spill out every vicious condemning word bubbling inside him, and see how deeply he can tear his father apart.

He doesn’t. He’s too tired. He can’t muster the energy to care any more. Zak, Mom, Gianne, prison...it has all sucked him dry and he is nothing but an empty husk.

“No,” he says finally. “I think you covered everything.”

His father stares at him for a long moment of disbelief, and then a shutter comes down over his face, a mask of disgust setting hard.

“Then I’m going to tell you what you are going to do next. I will remove those cuffs and you are going to take off that jumpsuit and put on the black suit I brought you, and you are going to come to the funeral and the wake and behave impeccably, and you are going to say nothing about your disgrace to anyone -  _ anyone _ \- especially not your brother. As soon as the wake finishes, my two soldiers out there will escort you back to this ship and return you to custody on Virgon to serve out your sentence.” He pauses, takes a long breath as if steadying himself. “And that...that will be it, for us.”

Lee’s resolve to stay silent breaks.

“That will be it?”

“Yes. I don’t want to hear from you again after today, Lee. I don’t have room in my life for a son who behaves as you have, who would recklessly endanger other people’s lives for petty reasons.” Lee opens his mouth to speak, but his father cuts him off. “Fire kills people, Lee. You could have killed someone. I’ve seen people badly burned, seen them die in flames. Have you?”

_ And he doesn’t even know about the bomb. How I helped to kill ten people. They died in flames. _ Lee can’t stop the almost soundless, hysterical laughter spilling out of his mouth. 

Wrong reaction. He can see from his father’s face that was the final straw.

“You think this is  _ funny _ ? You’re a lost cause, Lee. So go lose yourself in the world and leave us be.”

_ Us? _

“You’re not going to stop me from seeing Zak.” Maybe he isn’t an empty husk after all, because he will not lose Zak, he will not, and he can’t keep the hatred and determination out of his face.

“We’ll see about that.”

The words, cool and dismissive, finally knock over the cauldron of Lee’s temper, but before he can reply his father stands and stalks out of the cabin, locking the door behind him.

\---

The funeral and the wake are a blur, a hazy waking dream. Lee only remembers three moments, afterwards.

Finding a half completed crossword in his mother’s bedroom. They used to do them together, when he lived at home, racing each other to the answers. He looks at her familiar, carefully-formed letters, the empty boxes never to be filled, and that’s when it strikes home, with the force of a thunderbolt, that she’s gone for good, that he’ll never see her again.

Zak’s face, when Lee tells him that he’s leaving as soon as the wake is over.  _ You’re not even staying the night? You’re leaving again? You didn’t come for weeks when I needed you, and now you’re leaving again? _ His betrayal and disbelief burst forth in a torrent of vicious words and Lee accepts every one without flinching, without protest, because he deserves it, he let Zak down and he’s still letting him down, and he stands there silent and enduring until Zak runs out of words and storms away, and thinks that maybe he has lost Zak after all, without his father having to lift a finger against him.

His father’s tall figure, standing at rigid attention on the edge of the pavement as Lee is delivered to the military car and driven away. He doesn’t say a word as Lee walks past him, no last word of condemnation or farewell, but when Lee turns to look as the car moves away, he is still standing there, staring after the car until it disappears from sight.

  
  



	16. Chapter 16

_Caprica, present day_

Coming down the stairs to reception, Kara was confronted by a furious Meg.

“What did you say to Zak?” She grabbed Kara’s arm and pulled her behind the reception desk.

Kara jerked her arm free, trying to control her temper. “Meg...”

“You promised me you wouldn’t ask him about what happened!”

“I didn’t ask him, I promise,” Kara said, doing her best to sound soothing. “He decided to tell me about it on his own. He was actually...fairly calm about the whole thing.”

“Then why was he so upset earlier?” Meg stared at her with disbelief. “He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, and then he dragged Lee upstairs, and they’ve been shut in Lee’s room for ages...”

 _Oh._ Kara felt a stab of guilt. “I did tell him...something I found out about Lee, and it was a shock to him.”

“Something about Lee? What?”

“Sorry, I can’t tell you.” Telling Zak had been inadvertent; Kara was not going to make the same mistake knowingly.

Meg’s brows met in an exasperated line, but at that moment they heard footsteps on the stairs, and the two Adama brothers walked down to join them. Zak looked a little worn around the edges, but he was smiling. Lee was hiding behind a blank mask.

Meg hurried to Zak’s side and put a trembling hand on his arm. He looked down at it with a rueful smile, and reached out to pull her against him. “Did I worry you?”

“A little.” Meg leaned her head against his shoulder. “Was I right to be worried?”

“Maybe a little,” he echoed back. “But I’m fine now. Better than I have been for a while, I think. Lee and I sorted some things out.” He smiled at his brother and Lee’s composure rippled, an answering smile breaking through.

“We did, Meg. Zak can tell you all about it, if he wants to.” Zak looked surprised, but Lee gave him a quick nod. “Go ahead. Meg’s family, after all.”

Meg flushed pink, but her eyes shone. “Thanks Lee.” 

Zak led her in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Kara standing awkwardly with Lee. She searched for something to say.

“So that worked out well then,” was what she finally came up with, and winced internally.

Lee had been looking after Zak and Meg with a smile, but at Kara’s words it vanished completely, and he turned to glare at her.

“No thanks to you,” he snapped. “You had no right to tell him about my past.” This was the Lee she’d seen for the first time earlier today, when he ordered her not to ask Zak about his arrest, iron-faced and stony-eyed. “You’ve known him long enough, you know how volatile he can be. You could have triggered-”

Kara was submerged by an unexpected wave of guilt, because he was right. She _had_ known Zak long enough to realise he struggled with depression, that...

“I didn’t mean to do it!” she defended instinctively. “I thought he already knew-”

“Why would you think he knew?” Lee’s tone could have flayed skin from bone, and Kara’s temper flared in response.

“Because he’s your brother, Lee! I assumed your own brother would have known-”

“Why would you assume that?” he fired back. “Do you tell your family everything about yourself?”

The question doused her anger as effectively as a bucket of water.

“I don’t have any family to tell.”

The words felt like ash in her mouth. Kara turned and headed for the exit, almost running as she fought against the sudden burning behind her eyes. She’d made it through the front door and down the steps when she felt his hand on her arm.

“Kara, I’m sorry.”

She shook him off. “Leave me alone.”

“Kara, I didn’t mean to upset you.” His fingers brushed her arm again, and Kara swung round, grateful for the anger melting away the lump in her throat. 

“I said, leave me alone!” She shoved Lee’s chest as hard as she could, making him stagger back a pace. “Are you deaf?”

She expected Lee to retreat, but he lifted his jaw in a way that screamed stubbornness and moved forward.

“No, but Zak called me blind today, and he was right.” His blue eyes were softer again, more like the Lee she knew. “He also told me that it was natural to assume that he would know his own brother had been in jail, and I guess he was right about that too.”

Kara stared at him in disbelief. “Is that an apology?” She found her mouth twitching. “Because if so, that was the worst apology I’ve ever heard.”

Lee looked offended, but then his mouth began twitching too. “Guess I’m out of practice. I don’t make very many.”

“Wow. What did I do to merit such a rare honour?”

“Nothing,” said Lee, taking another step towards her. “Except be yourself.”

His expression made Kara feel acutely uncomfortable. She turned away swiftly.

“I appreciate it, but I really have to go. I’ve got work to do in Piraeus.”

She strode briskly towards her car, but she could hear Lee’s footsteps crunching across the gravel behind her.

Damn the man. Couldn’t he leave her alone?

“Kara.”

Kara unlocked her car and jerked the door open, using it as a barrier between them as she turned around.

“What?”

“If you want to ask me about what happened, I’ll tell you.” Lee’s face was warm and open, and Kara had to look away. She wanted to tell him to stop, that she didn’t need to hear it, but she couldn’t. 

“Go on, then,” she said, staring at the flowers on the hotel balconies behind him.

“I frakked up. I was a stupid kid, and I frakked up.”

\---

When Lee had finished his story, Kara thanked him and said she’d see him later. She got into her car and drove away, and he waved as she pulled out of the car park.

Kara drove towards Piraeus. She pulled over into the first lay-by she saw, turned off the engine, and thumped her forehead against the steering wheel.

“Frak,” she said, with increasing violence. “Frak, frak, frak.”

The story Lee had told her was perfectly plausible. It had the ring of sincerity as he told it, and more than that, she could see it happening to him. She could see him joining an activist group and getting carried away by his enthusiasm for the cause. She could see him finding excitement in cutting loose and rebelling, defacing walls and smashing windows, because she knew for herself that he had a reckless and passionate streak. Buried deep in denial, although she’d found she could get him to let it loose in bed if she pushed him in just the right way. It was one of the things that had drawn her to him, the contrast of that fierce intensity simmering under that cool exterior. And she could see it all escalating to arson and getting out of his control, could see the shock of getting caught, of arrest and prison, bringing him back down to the ground, because the Lee she knew was steady and reliable at heart; the flares of recklessness never lasted long. Another reason she was drawn to him, because she found a comfort in that steadiness, that solid reliability.

Kara wished she could find comfort in it now. She couldn’t, because...while everything Lee said was plausible and sincere and understandable, every cop instinct she had honed over years in the force, over years of questioning suspects, was screaming at her that he was lying.

Or at least not telling her the whole truth.

Even worse, she had solid reasoning to back up her instincts.

If Billy Keikeya had disappeared because he took a photo of Mark Leroux, and recognised him as SFM, and investigated further, and found out more than he should about what Mark was doing here…then there were almost certainly other SFM members operating in this area.

The SFM. People who cared so passionately about politics and injustice and inequality that they were willing to commit crimes to achieve their goals.

Lee’s past fitted that profile. The activism, the vandalism, the arson, the criminal record. Then there was his job at the shady accountancy firm. Shady enough to bankroll terrorists?

Mark Leroux had been seen at the cabin Lee owned.

All the evidence stacked up. She’d known it stacked up since Felix sent her the report of Lee’s trial, but she’d been ignoring it because it was Lee.

Lee, who listened to everything she said as if every word was the most important he’d ever heard, even if she was ranting about pyramid.

Lee, who always got her jokes, who could always make her laugh, even when she didn’t want to.

Lee, who always looked into her eyes when he was inside her, who always said her name when he came, who had never once made her feel as if she was just a warm, convenient body for the night.

Lee, who had reacted to her tale of woe yesterday by looking as if he wanted to destroy everyone who ever did her an injury.

Lee, whose calls she always answered, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself not to.

Lee, who she didn’t want to lose.

Her phone beeped with an email from Gaeta. Kara almost didn’t want to read it, but she steeled herself, and opened the message.

_Did some more research on Mark Leroux, turns out he was at Boskirk University at the same time as Lee Adama. Mark was the chair of the CPE branch Lee belonged to. They must have known each other._

Kara turned off her phone. She stared through the windscreen, as the pieces clicked into place with relentless inevitability.

That confirmed it, then.

Lee was lying. He knew Mark Leroux, but he’d looked at that photo and denied recognising it. Why would he do that, unless…

Unless he had never given up his political beliefs, or his activism. Unless he was a member of the SFM, and had been all along. Unless he knew exactly what Mark was doing here, and didn’t want Kara to find out, any more than Billy Keikeya had…

Unless he’d been involved in Billy’s disappearance, maybe even harmed him...

Kara closed her eyes, and didn’t move for a long time. She didn’t cry. She was an old hand at being let down, and she knew that crying was pointless.

It was much better to think, and to plan. To get even.

\---

The trouble with trying to tail someone in this area was that it would be blatantly obvious, with so little traffic on the roads. If Kara wanted to find out where Lee was going and what he was doing, she needed to use an alternative method.

The electronic tracker which she planted on his car while he was safely occupied talking to Zak in the kitchen wasn’t strictly legal. Kara could get into trouble for using it; but then if Lee was an SFM terrorist he was hardly likely to go complaining to the cops.

The hotel had a small lounge which conveniently overlooked the car park, so Kara stationed herself by the window with her laptop, and waited for Lee to leave. He should be driving back to the city tonight, and it would be interesting to see if he made any detours on the way.

She’d been there half an hour when the man himself appeared in the doorway.

“Kara. I’ve been looking for you.”

He smiled at her, that dazzling smile that lit up his eyes and made him look ten years younger. It had taken her breath away the first time she saw it, that night in Joe’s Bar. Today it made her feel as if she had been kicked in the stomach.

 _How dare you smile at me like that, you lying bastard_. 

Kara wanted to punch that smile off his face. Wanted to expose his lies to his brother, to Meg and Karl, to make him feel as hurt and humiliated as she did.

Instead she raised a smile, hoping it didn’t look as fake as it felt. “Come to say goodbye, Lee?”

“Goodbye?” He crossed the room and sat down in the chair opposite her.

“Thought you’d be driving back to the city soon. Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“No, I took a long weekend, don’t have to leave until tomorrow evening. I’ve got to head out now for a little while, but I’ll be back for dinner. If you still want to sit together at dinner again after what I told you earlier…” He sounded nervous, but Kara no longer trusted her ability to read him.

Kara didn’t reply immediately. She knew she should smile and agree to have dinner with him, but she couldn’t. The thought of sitting so close to him, staring into his eyes and listening to him lie to her...she couldn’t do it. The thought of it made her muscles stiffen and her eyes harden.

Lee saw her reaction. There was a flash of disappointment in his face before he carefully smoothed it away.

“What I told you changed things, then.” 

“Yes. Did you think it wouldn’t?”

“No,” he said, after a long pause. “You used to be a cop. I knew if you found out I’d been in prison, you would…”

For a ridiculous moment, Kara felt affronted. She almost snapped at him for thinking she’d be so narrow-minded and judgemental. Then she caught herself. Let him think that. It would be easier.

“I’m glad you understand. Look, Lee, we’ve had a fun time together, but...that was what it was supposed to be, right? Easy and simple and a fun time. This weekend...all the stuff that has gone down...it’s not fun anymore. Time to call it quits.”

For a second Lee looked as if she _had_ punched him in the face, but the expression disappeared so quickly that she wondered if she had imagined it.

“If that’s what you want,” he said. He stood up slowly, as if moving was difficult. “It was...good while it lasted.” He stepped towards her and leaned forward. Kara froze, unsure what he meant to do or how to react, but all he did was kiss her on the cheek. The polite, almost chaste gesture felt utterly bizarre.

“I’ll miss you,” he murmured into her ear, and for a moment his voice held all the hurt she had glimpsed on his face.

Kara’s breath caught, torn between the urge to hit him and the urge to say it back to him. He didn’t deserve it. He’d used her and lied to her, and she was going to make him pay for it.

Lee hovered, as if waiting for her to speak, and in another minute she might have crumbled, but then he pulled back and left her without another word.

Kara’s eyes almost burned a hole through the glass as she watched him walk out of the hotel door and towards his car. She opened the tracking app on her phone, and waited to see where he would go.

\---

Lee went to the Orestes Pass. His signal stayed unmoving for about twenty minutes, and then it cut out.

Could be a malfunction. Could mean he’d found the tracker.

If the latter, then he - and anyone he might be with - could be expecting her to drive up to the Pass. It could be a trap.

Or it could be a chance to find Billy, or at least discover what had happened to him. Give Dee some peace of mind.

Kara picked up her phone and messaged Karl to tell him where she was going and to follow her if she didn’t text him within the hour. Then she walked out to her car.

She wasn’t foolish enough to drive straight up to the car park at the Pass. She pulled off into a lay-by a few miles before, parking deep in the shadow of the trees where she couldn’t be easily seen from the road. It was almost completely dark now, anyway.

As she was about to get out of the car, her phone rang. Kara sighed impatiently, ready to hit the ignore button, until she saw that it was Dee calling.

“Kara, glad I caught you.”

“Sorry I haven’t called, Dee, but I’m afraid there’s nothing to report-”

“That’s all right. There’s nothing for you to investigate any more.”

“What?” 

Dee’s voice soared light as a feather. “I’ve had a call from Billy. He’s fine.”

“He is? What happened?” It was the last thing Kara had expected. Her mind scrabbled, trying to make sense of it.

“He didn’t go into details. He had an accident while out walking, and it took him ages to find help, and...well, it doesn’t matter, the point is that he’s okay, I’ve spoken to him.”

“That’s great, but…”

“I can’t thank you enough for your support through all this, Kara. Send me your final invoice and I’ll sort payment.”

Kara was too bewildered to do anything but murmur agreement. “But...what about the photos? Did Billy mention them?”

“What? I don’t think so. It doesn’t matter now, anyway. Kara, I really have to go. Speak soon.”

Dee rang off before Kara could say any more. She sat staring into space as she struggled to assimilate the call.

Billy was okay? He’d spoken to Dee? But…

The story Dee told her had been astonishingly vague. Surely if Billy had simply been lost and injured, Mountain Rescue would have found him before now. And if he had been found, why hadn’t it been in the news? She checked the local news sites and social media outlets on her phone, but there were no reports of Billy being found. It seemed odd. In this small community, someone always knew all the gossip…

Had Dee actually seen Billy, Kara wondered. It must have been him making the call, though; Dee would recognise his voice. But had someone forced him to make it? She tried to call Dee back to ask more questions, but it went straight to voicemail.

Kara spent a few more minutes speculating, and then shook it away. Whether Billy was safe or not, there was still something odd going on up here. Mark Leroux at Lee’s cabin, and Lee pretending not to know him…

...but then wasn’t that natural? No-one was going to blithely announce that they’d known a convicted terrorist, still less if they kept in contact...maybe it had been a personal visit, catching up on old times, and nothing more sinister…

No, it wasn’t. Every instinct told her it wasn’t. There was something deeper and darker going on here.

_Stop trying to explain this away, because you want Lee to be clear of all this. You pathetic infatuated fool._

She got out of the car, and walked up towards the Orestes Pass.

\---

The Pass was eerily deserted. The car park was empty, and the park ranger hut dark and shuttered. Kara tried the door, but was not surprised to find it locked. Whatever Lee had been doing here, he and anyone he might have been meeting were long gone.

It was another dead end, but Kara decided to check the place out anyway, as she was there. She began with the car park, and came across the crushed remains of her tracker. Lee _had_ found it then. Would he realise she was the one who had placed it?

She found nothing else of interest until she reached the hut. Studying the walls and the ground around it in the light of her torch, she realised that on the side of the hut away from the car park, facing the earth bank that rose up to the road, some of the planks in the wall were loose.

Kara tugged at them and soon she had made a hole. Not a large one, but enough space for her to crawl through. She hesitated for a moment, glancing at her watch. The hour she had given Karl was nearly up. She sent him a message to say she was fine and would check in again in another hour, and then crawled through the hole.

She was in a kind of basement, although the floor was dirt and rock, so that it was really only a walled off space under the hut. Flashing the torch at the plank ceiling, Kara could see a trapdoor, although it was too high for her to reach without climbing on something. There were a few boxes scattered around, but none tall enough.

The space was largely empty, although Kara wondered from the imprints she saw in the muddy ground if there had been more boxes stored here recently. She opened the remaining ones, but found only blankets and rescue equipment.

She flashed the torch around one more time, and something in one corner caught the light. Kara crouched down to see what it was, and found a keyring, with a metal circular tag. Kara wiped away the mud, and found a familiar winged logo with the words ‘ _Caprica Guardian_ ’ written underneath.

Billy’s newspaper. Was this Billy’s key ring? Had Billy been here? But why?

It struck Kara that this little room would make a convenient prison, with no exit except a trapdoor too high to reach from below. Unless you made a hole in the wall, and escaped...had Billy done that, and managed to call Dee? Was that why Dee had told her that strange story on the phone, because he was still in danger?

Kara shifted, and something jabbed into her knee. She looked down, and pulled another small object out of the mud.

Many people wouldn’t have been able to identify the metal object in her palm. Kara, however, was a former police officer who had been on plenty of firearms and explosives training courses in her time, and she recognised it exactly for what it was.

A detonator.

The last of her doubts fizzled away like morning mist. She was not following a wild goose chase. There was something serious happening here.

Kara tucked the detonator and the key ring into the pockets of her jacket, planning her next move. The best idea was probably to call Felix. Get him to contact the CSS again. Much as she hated to admit it, if her suspicions were correct, she was out of her depth. She needed help.

She turned off her torch before she slipped through the hole and out into the open air. Best to be cautious. She moved quietly to the corner of the hut and looked around it, her heart thumping.

The car park was still empty. The night was silent, except for the wind rustling the leaves in the trees, and an animal crying in the distance.

Kara crossed the car park, keeping to the edge of the gravelled square. It was lit by a lamp over the doorway of the hut, but there were no lights on the road itself. Kara wished she could head back to the car without switching on her torch, but she didn’t know the way well enough. She'd be no use to anyone if she fell into a pothole and hurt herself. She waited until the light from the hut disappeared as the road twisted, and then turned on her torch.

A bag came down over her head.

Kara yelled and struck out instinctively with both fists and knees. Her knee connected with something soft, and she heard a groan, but someone else grabbed her arms from behind. 

_I didn’t hear a thing as they crept up on me. They’re not amateurs._

Someone grabbed her legs, hoisted her up, and she was being carried. She squirmed and fought and tried to free herself, but with no success.

They lowered her onto a hard surface, and let go. Kara heard a door slam behind her, and the surface below her vibrated as she heard the sound of an engine. She was in a van.

She pulled the cloth bag off her head and crouched, looking round, blinking in the overhead light.

There were three people sitting on a bench in the back of the van, and Kara recognised one of them.

The schoolteacher from the hotel. The fishing enthusiast. Laura Roslin.

Kara’s mouth fell open in astonishment.

Laura was looking at her with weary irritation.

“Well, well. Kara Thrace. You’re determined to be a pain in my ass, aren’t you?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter of Lee angst, chapter of Kara angst. I like to deal it out evenly :)  
> Next time, Kara finds out what's really going on...


	17. Chapter 17

_Virgon, eight years ago_

Lee is six months into his sentence when he arrives to see the prison’s teacher for his scheduled appointment, and finds someone else in the office. In place of Marcus, with his greying beard and fraying smile, is a red-haired woman who makes the already small room feel impossibly tiny.

Lee recognises her, and after a moment recalls her name.

“Laura.”

“Lee.” She smiles at him and Lee feels himself drawn in by it, even though he knows it’s fake, that nothing about this woman is what it seems. “Take a seat.”

Lee tries to gather his wits, dulled as they are by the long hours of tedium in this place. “Thank you for getting the lawyer to my brother.”

“I heard he was released without charge. How is he doing?” Laura sits as well, behind Marcus’ desk.

“Zak’s fine,” says Lee, although he doesn’t know, not really. He doesn’t have enough phone privileges yet for off-planet calls. He’s written to Zak over and over, but had no answer. Meg replied once, saying _Come home Lee, he needs you, I’m scared for him_. 

_I can’t,_ he wrote back, _I wish I could but I can’t. Why are you scared?_

She never replied. 

Maybe he should have told them where he was, what had happened, but... _they both have enough to deal with,_ he tells himself, _they would only worry about me._ Lee tries to ignore the truth, lurking beneath the water like a leviathan, that he’s too ashamed to tell them. To admit how badly he screwed up, how others suffered for it...he thinks again of the people who died in the bomb blast, murdered for the crime of turning up to work. If he had paid more attention, been less ready to accept Mark and Gianne’s assurances, might he have seen enough to work out what was going on? To put a stop to it before it was too late?

He’ll never know.

Laura watches him silently as all these thoughts race through his mind. Lee wonders what she is thinking. _You could be useful to me_ , she said in the courthouse. _When we next meet, I’ll have a proposition for you._

Lee is not sure he wants to hear it, but what choice does he have? He can’t leave, there’s nowhere to go.

“How’s prison life treating you?” is Laura’s next question. She’s sounding him out, searching for cracks.

“I’m surviving.” Lee’s worked out enough of the system here now to get by, and Mark’s unseen protection still surrounds him. He’ll last out his sentence, if he’s careful.

Laura seems to be waiting for more, but Lee doesn’t want to give it to her. He’s tired of being studied, like an insect under a microscope.

“Who are you?”

“That’s a complicated question.” She smiles again, that practiced charm. “Here’s part of the answer.”

She slides a laminated card across the desk towards him. It has her photo, and a name - Laura Roslin - and the words _Colonial Security Service_.

Many things become clear. Or seem to become clear. Lee has learnt to be wary.

“This could be a fake.” He pushes the card back.

“It could be. Still, I got your brother that lawyer. I can provide another demonstration of good faith, if you like.”

“Why? Why are you interested in me?”

“You know why.” 

Of course he does. Lee resists the urge to put his head in his hands. When did his life become so complicated?

“Did you speak to Robert?”

Laura does him the courtesy of not pretending that she doesn’t know who Robert is. “No. Should I have?”

“He was eager to talk to you.” The people who died in the bombing haunted Robert too. He started spending more time in the prison temple, coming out pale and hollow. _We have to talk to someone, Lee. Tell them what happened. Maybe they can stop anyone else dying..._ he became obsessed with it. Spoke about it too much, in the wrong times and at the wrong places.

“Robert’s dead,” says Lee. “I suppose you know that?”

“Yes. Found hanged in his cell, the governor told me. I’m sorry.” Laura almost sounds as though she means it. She’s good, Lee has to give her that.

“I don’t think he killed himself.” The words burst out almost involuntarily. They have been building within Lee since the priest told him the news, and there has been no-one else he could voice them to. “I think they found out he was planning to talk, and stopped him before he could.”

“Who are they, Lee?” Laura’s face is smooth and unreadable.

“You know who they are.” He echoes her words back to her, and she looks amused. He grips the arms of the splintered wooden chair. “If I talk to you...are you going to promise me you can protect me?”

Silence. He listens to the relentless soft tick of the clock on the breezeblock wall.

“No, I’m not. I’ll do what I can to protect you, Lee, but I can’t promise anything.”

Lee lets out a long breath. He feels oddly lighter at her answer. He’s had too many false promises in his life. 

_I’ll see you soon, Lee. I’ll be home in a few weeks._

_Things will change, Lee. This time it worked, I can feel it. I don’t need to drink any more._

Too many years of being treated as if he can’t comprehend the truth, as if he can’t be trusted to handle it, as if he is worth no more than comforting lies.

Laura respects him enough not to do that. He likes that. He can work with that.

“I’ll talk to you,” Lee says, “if that’s what you want.”

A frown creases Laura’s forehead, as if for the first time he’s moved off script.

“What else would I want?”

“I don’t know enough about you to say. But you know a lot about me, so you probably know that what I can tell you isn’t very much. Probably nothing you don’t know already. You definitely know about Mark. Possibly about Gianne, too.” Lee drops the names deliberately, sees that Laura recognises the gesture. “So I think you want something else.”

Laura smiles, and for the first time it reaches her eyes, and the warmth is real.

“Well done, Lee. I knew I was right to pick you.” She does look like a teacher in that moment, congratulating a prize student. “What I want, and what I think you can give me, is a window into the SFM. Eyes and ears on the inside.”

It’s roughly what Lee expected, but it takes him a moment to process it. “You mean like...a double agent?”

“That’s a rather melodramatic term, but essentially, yes.”

_This is it_ , Lee thinks. _This is how I can make all this right_. For the first time since he heard the news report of the bombing, since horrified realisation turned the world grey, he can see a chink of light again, faint but steady.

“I’ll do it.”

“Don’t decide now,” says Laura. “I’ll come back in a week, give you time to think. If you agree, from this moment you will always have two lives, Lee, and they can never meet. It’s a hard line to walk, and I can tell you that from experience.” Laura looks weary for a moment, her vitality burning low. “Think it through.”

“I will,” says Lee, but he won’t. He doesn’t have to. This is his chance to make amends, to find purpose in his life again, to make this whole debacle mean something, and he won’t let it slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Laura. She’s such an interesting character. The starting point for this fic was: ‘I want to write a story where Lee is an undercover agent and Laura is his boss.’ Of course it all then got complicated! I expect most readers had already pieced this development together - it's not directly stated in previous chapters but it's all there.


	18. Chapter 18

_Caprica, present day_

Kara looked at Laura’s ID card and blinked.

“You’re CSS?” She stared at the card for another moment, digesting the information, and handed it back.

“I’m relieved that you seem to be surprised,” said Laura, pocketing the card. “You’ve uncovered so many secrets around here that I thought you might have placed me.”

“Not at all. I had you down as an ordinary schoolteacher, although...damn it, the fishing. I should have seen that.”

“Really? I don’t seem like a credible angler to you?” For a flicker of a moment, Laura looked offended.

“Not you. Lee.”

“Oh. Yes, he has always had difficulty mustering the requisite enthusiasm.”

“He told me he wasn’t a morning person, so-” Kara stopped as her brain caught up with Laura’s words. “So Lee _is_ working for you?”

“Yes.” Laura studied her curiously. “Does that come as a relief?”

“Well, it’s certainly better than thinking he was a member of the SFM.” Understatement of the year. Kara felt as if a pile of rocks had been lifted off her chest. “It...it was hard to think I could have been so mistaken about someone.”

“Well, Lee _is_ a member of the SFM. He just decided to work against them.”

“For how long?”

“I recruited him while he was in prison.”

“What...eight years ago?” Kara’s head whirled. “That’s a hell of a long time to be undercover.”

“Lee’s a good agent. One of the best I have.” There was an undertone of fondness in Laura’s voice.

“So...that story he spun me earlier was true after all? About getting in with a bad crowd, and getting arrested?”

“In its’ essentials, yes. He certainly got involved with the wrong woman.”

“Woman? You mean the girlfriend who died? Gianne Larssen?”

“Yes. She’d been involved with the SFM since she was a teenager. Things got a little hot for her on Sagittaron, so they arranged for her to study at Boskirk university on Virgon. Her job was to set up an SFM cell there, along with a man named Mark Leroux-”

“The man in Billy’s photo.”

“Precisely. He was not long out of prison, so we were keeping tabs on him; that’s how I got on to Gianne. Not soon enough, unfortunately; I was unable to prevent a tragedy.” Laura looked tired, the lines on her face suddenly prominent in the van’s harsh fluorescent light.

“A tragedy?”

“A bomb planted in a government building that killed ten people. Mark Leroux planted the bomb, using a plan of the building which Gianne stole during the arson attack on the planning office.”

“The one that she and Lee were jailed for.” Kara hunched forward, her stomach twisting. “Did Lee know?”

“Not until after the bombing, he said, and I believed him. He still felt guilty about being a part of it, though. That’s why he agreed to work for me.”

Kara took a moment to think through the new information. It certainly explained many of the contradictions between the Lee who had emerged from the information Felix had sent her, and the man she had come to know over the last two years. It might even explain _why_ she had come to know him in the first place. Lee had never really seemed the type of guy for one night stands; but if his whole life was a part he was playing...and a part where one false move could get him killed...it would be impossible to have a normal relationship under those circumstances. If the SFM realised he was working for the CSS, it wouldn’t only be Lee’s life in danger, but anyone close to him…

“Zak and Meg. Are they-”

“I always have someone watching them,” said Laura, seeming to follow her train of thought effortlessly. “I should have had someone watching you, as well; then I might have managed to head you off before you could damage my operation.”

“Damage your operation? How have I done that?” Kara was affronted.

“Oh, don’t play innocent with me, Kara Thrace. You used to be a cop, you know how these things work. I’ve been monitoring the SFM cell up here for years-”

“Why haven’t you shut them down before now, then?”

Kara could see Laura bite back her irritation. “Because I knew they were planning another bombing - possibly multiple bombings - in Caprica City. It only takes one person to trigger a bomb. If we don’t get the whole cell at once, or we don’t know exactly where and when they plan to set off the bomb...you see the problem?”

Kara did. She remembered the news feeds of the bombing on Sagittaron that Zarek had been jailed for all those years ago, remembered other SFM attacks over the years. The thought of that happening in her own city…

“I have reason to believe the attack is imminent,” said Laura. “I’m in the most crucial phase of my operation. What I do _not_ need is anything spooking the SFM into precipitate action. Such as a PI asking questions about a photo of Mark Leroux and searching SFM stores, let alone a PI who has a personal relationship with my undercover agent. I can’t risk having Lee’s cover blown.” She watched Kara’s mouth fall open with an expression which would have been an eye roll in someone less dignified. “Of course I know about that, Kara, you and Lee have been meeting for nearly two years now.”

Kara tried to ignore that. “What about Billy Keikeya? Is he safe? Did Dee really speak to him?”

“Yes, she spoke to him. They’re now together in one of our safe houses, and I intend to keep them there until this is all over.”

“Was he being held under that hut at the Orestes Pass?”

“Yes. Lee managed to free him, hopefully without arousing suspicion.” Kara smiled, a warm glow spreading in her chest. “But I can’t risk anything else threatening his position, so I need you to leave.”

“Leave? But I can’t-” 

Kara’s every instinct rebelled at the thought. She couldn’t leave, not at such a critical juncture in her case.

“Yes, you can.” Laura’s tone was uncompromising. “Your case was Billy Keikeya, and that’s resolved. I can assure you that I have the SFM situation in hand, and to be frank, you’ve spooked them so much that your continued presence here will be a hindrance. If you return to Caprica City however, they should relax and my plan will have a far better chance of success.”

Kara wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. As Laura had said, she’d been a cop. She knew how this kind of thing worked.

“And on a personal note, you staying will only cause problems for Lee. If I’m aware of your relationship, the SFM probably are too. If you care for him at all, you will leave.”

“That’s a low blow.” Kara fixed the other woman with her coldest stare. 

Laura shrugged. “I’ll use any tool I need to do my job.”

 _Like Lee? Is he simply a tool, as far as you’re concerned?_

Kara couldn’t help feeling that targeting a young man, alone in prison, no doubt confused and guilty about the situation he’d found himself in, and convincing him to put his life in danger on a daily basis for years - to sacrifice his whole life, effectively, to Laura’s operation - was a similarly low blow. She didn’t think Laura wished Lee harm, and that flicker of fondness for him was probably genuine, but...Kara thought that her first concern was Lee’s value to her operation, not Lee himself.

_He needs someone here to look out for him. Someone here in his corner…_

That was what her instincts said, but her training and experience told her that Laura was right. Staying here would do Lee more harm than her good, however much it went against the grain.

“Very well,” she said, grudgingly admitting defeat. “I’ll leave the hotel tomorrow morning, make it clear I’m leaving permanently, and drive back to the city immediately.”

“Good,” said Laura. “Don’t come back.”

\---

Lee was waiting for Kara when she got back to the hotel, hovering in reception. 

“Laura told me she was going to speak to you. I told the others you’d decided to go to the bar in Piraeus this evening.”

“Did they buy it?”

“Not sure about Karl. He gave me an odd look, but didn’t say anything.” Karl must have thought she’d told Lee a story to conceal her investigations up at the Pass. 

“Kara, I’m sorry,” Lee’s voice caught, and his eyes were full of guilt. “I never meant for you to get caught up in all this-”

“We can’t talk here.” It was late, and reception was empty, but there were still plenty of people in the bar. “Come upstairs. We can talk while I pack.”

“Pack?”

“Laura gave me my marching orders,” explained Kara, when they were safely in her room with the door firmly closed.

“And you’re taking them?” Lee looked surprised.

“She’s not an easy person to argue with,” muttered Kara, and Lee chuckled.

“Tell me about it. Most people can’t stand up to her. You could, though,” he added, with an affectionate smile that made Kara’s heart stutter like a faulty engine. She wanted to tell him not to look at her like that, but that would only make it worse.

Kara pulled out her small suitcase from under the bed and unzipped it, needing something to occupy her hands.

“I admit I don’t like it, but she’s right. I’ll only get in the way of your operation if I stay.” Kara pulled open a drawer and stuffed its contents into her suitcase.

“I’m sorry you got caught up in this mess, Kara.”

“Why? It hasn’t done me any harm. My missing person is safe, thanks to you.” 

Lee looked uncomfortable, and turned away to pull the curtains closed. “I took an opportunity, that was all.”

“That was a lot. He could be dead if you hadn’t helped him.”

“Yes, he would be.” 

Kara was chilled by the calm, matter-of-fact way he said it.

“How do you do this, Lee?” The words burst out of her. “If they found out who you’re really working for...living with that risk every day...how have you kept going so long?”

“I wonder that myself sometimes.” Lee attempted to smile, but it faded away too quickly. “But you can get used to anything, I’ve found over the years. I don’t really remember what it was like now, to have a life without all this hanging over my head.”

“Lee…” 

“Oh, I’m not complaining. I chose this for myself.” Lee leaned against the wall and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. “It’s like we said the other night...sometimes there’s only one choice you can make and still look yourself in the eye. No matter what it costs you.”

Kara understood. She understood all too well. But…

“You don’t need to spend your whole life paying for one mistake.”

“It was a pretty big mistake.” Lee was still staring at the ceiling, his face unsettlingly blank. “You know, I look back and wonder how I didn't see they were playing me. Pushing my buttons to move me in the directions they wanted. It’s so clear to me now, but at the time…”

“You were a kid. We were all oblivious at that age.”

That startled a laugh from him, much to her relief. “True enough. I was totally oblivious until I saw Gianne and Mark watching the news coverage of the bombing. That’s when I realised…” He looked as if he was dreaming, or sleepwalking back into the past. “You know, Gianne has never apologised for using me? Because it was for the cause. The cause justifies everything for her, and it always comes first.”

“Did you love her?”

He closed his eyes, looking unbearably sad for a moment. “I did. The person I thought she was, anyway.”

Kara looked away and opened another drawer. “When Meg told me about her...that she had died...I thought maybe you were still grieving for her. I thought that was why you were settling for casual hookups in motel rooms.”

“Oh. No, definitely not.” The sadness faded from his voice. “It was...well, I can’t have a proper relationship with anyone, as things are. Can’t risk dragging anyone into all this.” His voice turned sharp with irony. “Though that failed spectacularly with you.”

Kara chuckled. “I think I dragged myself in.” She emptied the drawer, telling herself not to ask the question she wanted to, but the words spilled out anyway, urgent and uncontrollable.

“Lee...if your life wasn’t as it is...would you still have left Karl’s party with me?”

“Yes,” he said immediately, and Kara couldn’t hold back a smug smile. “What I would have done differently is…”

“What?”

“The first time I rang you, I would have asked you out on a date.” Kara looked up in surprise, and found him staring at her, a wry smile on his face. “And you would have run for the hills, so I’m glad I didn’t.”

Kara opened her mouth to deny it, but the knowing look on his face stopped her. He _was_ right, damn it. If he had asked her on a date back then, she would have cut the call and never spoken to him again. She wasn’t sure if she was touched or repulsed by his accuracy in reading her. 

“I’ve always wondered why _you_ were settling for casual hookups in motel rooms.”

Kara busied herself pushing her clothes around in her suitcase. She could answer his question, but she couldn’t look at him while she did.

“I guess...people in my life haven’t had a great track record in sticking around. So now I find it’s easier if I don’t get attached.”

She heard Lee move away from the wall. The bed dipped as he sat right next to where she knelt beside the suitcase. So close she could hear his breathing, almost feel the warmth radiating from him.

“Kara.”

She tensed, waiting for him to put a comforting hand on her, ready to knock it away.

“I wish…” He didn’t move to touch her. Kara’s bristles lowered a fraction. “Kara, I wish I could have stuck around.”

To Kara’s horror, a lump formed in her throat. She made herself look up, and wished she hadn’t. Those frakking blue eyes were so close, looking at her in a way that was both tender and wistful, as if she was already only a fond memory…

Damn him.

“Laura said your operation was nearly over. If things change…” Her voice shook, but she forced out the words. She couldn’t have looked away from him if her life depended on it. “If things change for you, come and look me up.”

Lee stared at her in utter astonishment, as if she had announced the sky was green. “Kara...are you sure?” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “This afternoon you said-”

“I know what I said. And what you said.” Her heart was hammering so loud that she felt almost faint. “I...I’ll miss you too, Lee.”

“Kara…” His voice was thick, and his eyes were bright. This time he did move to touch her, but Kara knew that was more than she could risk. She quickly pulled back, out of reach, and got to her feet. 

“However, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you for lying to me.” She folded her arms in front of her, and nodded towards the door. “Time to go, Lee.”

Some men would have got angry. Used vicious words, maybe even tried to grab her. Lee, though...Lee laughed. Laughed long and hard, with that glowing smile that lit him up like a sky rocket.

“Of course. You’ve been more than fair.” He stood up, and the look in his eyes stole her breath away. “Never change, Kara. There’s no one quite like you.”

As he reached the door, Kara found her voice again. “Lee.”

“Yes?”

“Look after yourself. Don’t be an idiot.”

“I’ll do my best.”

He left. The door thudded closed behind him. The room stretched emptily around her, the silence absolute. Kara took one shuddering breath, then two, wrapping away the memory of his face as he’d left.

“You’d better, Lee Adama,” she muttered, and finished her packing.

\---

Kara’s friends accepted her departure the next morning more easily than she had expected, although she had to spend some time explaining herself. She told them about the call from Dee, that Billy had been found, and said that the information he’d found on the SFM had been reported to the authorities.

“Nothing left for me to do here, so I’m going to drive back to the city this morning. I’ve got other cases waiting.”

Karl gave her an odd look, as if he suspected there was more she wasn’t saying, but he let it pass.

It was nearly noon by the time Kara was ready to leave. There’d been no sign of Lee all morning, and she wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or relieved by that. Karl, Meg and Zak all came out to reception to say goodbye.

“Come back soon,” Meg told her, and for once Kara didn’t mind the hug she received. It showed Meg had forgiven her for talking to Zak about his mother.

Zak himself murmured quietly to her, “Thanks for telling me what you did about Lee. It’s changed things between us.”

Unfortunately, that only made Kara feel incredibly awkward, as she now knew even more secrets about his brother that she couldn’t tell him.

“Where is Lee?” Zak went on, in a louder voice. “I thought he would have come to say goodbye.”

“They probably said their goodbyes last night,” said Karl, and snickered. There was really no other word for the sound that came out of his mouth.

“Karl!” Meg elbowed him in the side.

“What?” he protested, rubbing his stomach. “If it’s supposed to be a secret, they should have been less obvious about it!”

“We weren’t-” Kara objected, only to be stopped by three pairs of raised eyebrows.

“Who do you think looks after the rooms?” said Meg. “Lee didn’t sleep in his bed the first night, and you didn’t sleep in yours the second.”

“And the way you were looking at each other, that night you had dinner together…” Karl snickered again. “I thought you were going to jump him on the table. Thought maybe I’d have to ask you to leave, like the bouncer at Joe’s Bar the night of my party-”

For once in her life, Kara was lost for words. She knew her face was flaming bright red.

“Ignore him,” said Zak, coming to her rescue. He picked up her suitcase. “Come on, Kara, I’ll walk you out.”

Kara followed him gratefully. She didn’t understand why she had been so embarrassed by a few jokes. What did it matter if the others knew she and Lee were frakking? 

_Because it does matter. This thing with Lee, it does matter. Maybe it always has, and I just refused to see it._

By the time Zak had stashed her case in the car, Kara had recovered her powers of speech. 

“Thanks for the rescue, Zak.”

“No worries.” He sent her a smirk that was startlingly reminiscent of Lee. “I figured I should take the chance to get on your good side. Just in case you ever become part of the family. Bye Kara.”

He sauntered away, leaving Kara speechless again. Frakking Adamas.

\---

Kara couldn’t have been more than five miles away from the Galactica when her car started making strange noises. Five miles after that, she realised smoke was coming out of the bonnet, and pulled to a stop in the nearest lay-by.

Kara got out to look for the problem, cursing. She’d only had the stupid piece of junk serviced last month. Hopefully it was something she could fix herself.

It didn’t take her long to find the problem. It was obvious, and even more obvious was the fact that it had been done deliberately. She straightened up from bending over the engine, her mind racing, just as a park ranger truck appeared round the bend of the road in front of her.

Kara looked around, but there was nowhere to go. A sheer rock wall on one side of the road, a dizzying drop on the other. The trap had been set perfectly. She didn’t even have time to open the car and grab a weapon, or her phone. The truck screeched to a halt next to her, and Jean Barolay got out, gun trained on Kara.

“Get in the truck.”

Kara thought of feigning ignorance to stall for time, but it was too risky. This was a remote stretch of road. It could be some time before anyone drove by who might help, and she didn’t think Jean would wait that long. She could tell the other woman not only knew how to use that gun, but would have no qualms about pulling the trigger. Give her too much trouble, and she might decide it would be easier to shoot now and leave her for dead.

Kara got in the truck.

The ranger called Kat was driving. Jean got in the back with Kara, carefully keeping her covered with the gun. The other ranger - Costanza - got out and walked over to Kara’s car. He’d probably fix and move it, thought Kara, so as not to raise any alarm.

“What’s going on?” asked Kara, as the truck turned round. She tried to keep her breathing steady, to stay calm and watch for an opening.

“Did you know we have wildlife cameras, up at the Orestes Pass?” said Jean. “Small and well hidden, so the animals don’t spot them. Most people don’t either, so I find them very useful.” The truck set back off in the direction of Piraeus. “I check the feeds every morning, and imagine my surprise at what I saw today. One nosy detective breaking into our hut.” She smiled, and a shiver ran down Kara’s spine. “I don’t know what you found, but it must have been something useful, because all of a sudden you’re hotfooting it back to the city. No doubt to show your old cop buddies what you found.”

“I found something that belonged to Billy Keikeya.”

“Another nosy fool. Although he was clever enough to find his way out of there, past my supposedly alert guard.” Jean glared at the woman in the driver’s seat.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere I can keep you safely out of the way, where you won’t cause any trouble.” Jean sighed. “I had a feeling you were going to be a problem the first day I saw you outside the house.”

Something about Jean was nagging at the edge of Kara’s attention. Something was different. As the truck slowed to wait for an opportunity to overtake a lorry, Kara realised what it was.

Jean’s eyes. They had been blue when they met before, Kara was sure of it, but now they were a dark brown, so dark as to be almost black. Jean had either been wearing coloured contact lenses before, or was now. To change her appearance? But why?

Those dark eyes though...they were distinctive, and familiar. She’d seen them somewhere before...

_I had a feeling you were going to be a problem the first day I saw you outside the house…_

She hadn’t met Jean outside a house, but outside the park ranger office…

“Gina,” Kara said, hardly aware she had spoken aloud. “That was you. Outside Dee’s house. Billy’s work colleague. Or maybe not a work colleague.”

“Spot on.” Jean still looked amused, but there was a spark of respect in her eyes. “You’re better at this than I thought.”

“I know,” said Kara. No way in hell was she going to let this woman patronise her. “I was a damn good cop, and I’m a damn good PI.” 

“You certainly seem...unsurprised by this turn of events,” said Jean, watching her closely, eyes sharp as scalpels. “You know about more than just our missing journalist, don’t you? You know about our group, and I’m curious to know how?”

Kara stayed silent.

“Was it Lee?” Kara tried not to react to the mention of his name. “Did he slip up and give something away during one of your nights at the motel?” 

Kara couldn’t prevent her surprise showing, and Jean laughed. “I didn’t get where I have by blindly trusting my comrades. I have eyes on all of them. It was quite a surprise to see you at Keikeya’s house. I wondered then if it could really be a coincidence.”

“It was,” said Kara. “Lee didn’t tell me anything.” 

It was Laura who had told her everything, and that truth enabled her to meet Jean’s eyes candidly.

Jean frowned. “Are you sure about that? Lee has many excellent qualities, but like most men, he doesn’t always think clearly when his dick is involved.” A sharp smile split her face. “I should know.”

Kara didn’t reply. Couldn’t reply. She was silenced by the tumult of thoughts and images suddenly plummeting through her head. 

Disguises. Different faces. Different names. 

Gina, with her dark eyes and blonde hair...and another face, another woman with dark eyes and blonde hair, looking up at her from a photo in a news article...the _same face_ …

Something Lee had said last night...he _had_ slipped up, although she hadn’t noticed it at the time…

The names. Jean. Gina. Different spellings but similar sounds...

“You’re Gianne,” Kara said, utterly certain. “That’s why Lee’s here. You’re Gianne.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s why this story begins with the first time Lee meets Gianne.  
> If you’re reading this, I am very curious to know what you think of this Jean/Gianne plot. Did you see it coming? If you didn’t, does it work for you? I always try to place hints about plot twists, but this was a tricky one to do without making it obvious. Largely because Kara works it out based on visual clues, seeing the resemblance, which is hard to do in words. I did try to convey in the Lee and Jean interaction that they’ve known each other for a long time and that their relationship is more personal than just ‘colleagues’, and to write Jean and Gianne as the same personality. I avoided present Lee thinking about Gianne in his POV, but he certainly never thinks about her ‘death’ or grieves for her.  
> I feel that I may be slightly cheating in using BSG character names as Gianne’s aliases, although it was me idly thinking about how similar these character names Gianne/Gina/Jean were that gave me the idea in the first place. I decided there was a ‘real’ Jean Barolay whose identity Gianne stole.  
> I had to use this idea, because it made the whole story come together for me. Originally Gianne was going to die in a “car accident” (read murdered by Mark) but then I realised how much better the whole fic worked if she was the antagonist in the present storyline, as it ties the two parallel stories together and raises the emotional stakes for Lee.


	19. Chapter 19

_Virgon, five years ago_

“This is the place,” says Gianne.

Lee takes in the sharp curve of the road as it reaches the edge of the cliff, and the pitted, rusty metal barrier that seems at best a dubious protection against the long drop below, and has to agree.

“I’m surprised someone hasn’t crashed through this excuse for a safety barrier already.”

Gianne shades her eyes against the low sun, looking down at the sea. “The current’s strong down there. Plausible enough for a body to be washed out to sea and never found.” She nods decisively. “This is it. Let’s do it when it gets dark.”

They get back in her small battered car - again the idea of its brakes failing is not at all surprising - and drive several miles to the lay-by where Lee left his car. There’s a viewpoint there, at the top of a steep flight of steps cut into the rock of the cliff, and they clamber up to sit on the bench and watch the sun go down.

The view is astounding, the sea gleaming with gold flecks, the sunset a glory of rose and flaming orange. The gulls wheeling overhead and the refreshing salt of the sea breeze. In another context, it would be romantic.

Any romance between Lee and Gianne has been over since they were released from prison. Gianne showed some interest a few times, even kissed him once, but Lee made it clear that part of their relationship was over. He can pretend to be Gianne’s comrade in arms, pretend to be her friend, but he balks at pretending to still be in love with her, no matter Laura’s hints that it will consolidate his cover. That all died when he realised how she’d been using him. Lee still isn’t sure, even now, whether any of it was ever real. Has no idea whether Gianne ever truly cared for him, or whether it was simply another way to draw him into the movement. Perhaps she deserves the same treatment in reverse, but Lee can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t want to stoop to that level. So they are friends, but nothing more. Gianne accepted his refusal carelessly enough, and has never shown a hint of wanting anything more since.

“Are you sure about this?” Lee asks, as the sunset deepens to crimson. “You don’t have to do it.”

“I need anonymity, for what I need to do on Caprica. Gianne Larssen has too much history attached to her name, raises too many red flags. I need to leave her behind.” Her mouth curls with familiar mockery. “Don’t look so tragic, Lee. It’s only a name. I’ll pick a better one.”

“What about your family?” asks Lee. “Will you tell them…?”

Lee knows Gianne has her mother and brother back on Sagittaron. Her brother’s wife is expecting their first child in the winter, and her mother plans to marry again next summer.

“No. I can’t.” All Gianne’s mockery drops away, and Lee can see a flash of real anguish in her dark eyes before she turns to look out to sea. “I wish I could, but it’s safer if I don’t. For all of us.”

“I’m sorry,” says Lee, and despite everything, he genuinely means it.

Gianne is still looking out to sea. She takes a deep breath.

“It’s for the cause. They would understand.”

Her voice is calm and certain now, the grief dispersed like a cloud before the sun. Lee has never met anyone so strong in her convictions, so secure in her beliefs. He used to admire that. It used to be one of the reasons he loved her. Now it terrifies him.

“Are you sure it’s necessary?” he says again. “They haven’t asked it of me.”

“You only have the one strike against your name, and you’re Caprican. It’s easier to gloss over,” says Gianne, with all the resigned bitterness the citizens of the poorer colonies learn young. “Besides, you’re not an active agent. You’re support staff,” she finishes, in a tone that is meant to sting.

It is the agreement Lee made with Mark, on his release from prison. He would stay in the movement, work for the cause, but he would do nothing directly that might cause injury to others. No fire-setting, and definitely no bombs.

Lee could tell that Mark thought it ridiculous hairsplitting, and despised him for it. That was part of the reason Lee said it...because if Mark despised him, he was far less likely to see him as a threat. In the early days, he was scared that Mark would see the truth written on his face in block letters; before he realised that he was a better liar than he gave himself credit for.

Mark debated for a few days, and then announced they needed someone to handle the money, and so Lee began to study accountancy at the SFM’s expense. He will be following Gianne to Caprica in a few weeks, to a job Mark has arranged from which he will supply her cell with money, buy any supplies she needs, and hide all this from any prying eyes.

Support staff, as Gianne says.

“I’m going to attend the funeral,” says Gianne abruptly, breaking into his thoughts.

“Your own funeral?” Lee is repelled by the idea. “That sounds horrendously morbid.”

“Don’t be so stuffy.” Gianne rolls her eyes. “Come on, how many people get to see their own funeral? How can I pass up the opportunity?”

“I could pass it up. I have absolutely no desire to see my own funeral.” He would only have to watch his father find some new way to express his disappointment.

“Well, I’m going to mine.” Gianne sends him a sly look. “I expect you to look suitably grief-stricken.”

“I’ll have to chop onions before I go then,” says Lee, and she elbows him in the ribs.

They are silent for a moment, watching the last streaks of light fade from the sky.

“I’m going to miss Virgon,” Gianne says, with a rare wistfulness. “Five years here...so much has changed. Good years though.”

Despite all his well-practiced skills at deception, Lee cannot force himself to reply to that in words. If he could wind back five years and never set foot on Virgon, he would. So he makes a noise that he hopes signifies agreement.

“On to Caprica, though. Bigger and better things. It will be good to be my own boss. Make my own mark.”

The thought of how she plans to make her mark turns Lee’s stomach even more. 

Well. He will simply have to do all he can to hinder her. The thought settles him, gives him a fierce satisfaction.

“You must be looking forward to going home,” says Gianne. “Does Caprica have views as glorious as this?”

“Much more beautiful,” says Lee loyally. He has mixed emotions about returning to Caprica, mainly because it will give him the opportunity to see Zak. A chasm has yawned between them since their mother’s death, and Lee has no idea how to bridge it.

He changes the subject. “It will be strange. Calling you by another name.”

Gianne shrugs, unsentimental as always. “You’ll get used to it.”

True enough. You can get used to anything, Lee has discovered; pretending to be friends with people you detest, pretending to believe in a cause that repels you; living each day in the constant shadow of discovery and death; always having the thick taste of fear at the back of your throat. Everything becomes normal, given enough time.

“Come on, Gi,” he says, as the last afterglow of the sunset fades away. “Time to die.” 


	20. Chapter 20

_Caprica, present day_

Lee was woken at an unreasonably early hour by a text from Gianne for the second morning in a row.

He rubbed at his bleary eyes and reached for his phone, cursing. He hoped it wasn’t another frakking delivery run. That had been yesterday’s message; an order to drive all the way to Delphi to pick up a package. Between detours to avoid flooding on the other side of the Orestes Pass, and horrendous traffic once he reached Delphi itself, the drive had taken Lee all day. By the time he arrived back at the hotel it was so late that he’d gone straight to bed after snacking on leftovers from the fridge.

The package had turned out to be a stack of workmen’s reflective tabards. Nothing important; nothing that Kat or Costanza couldn’t have collected instead of Lee.

That was the point, he knew. Gianne liked to send him on these menial errands sometimes, just to remind him who was in charge, and that their past relationship didn’t guarantee him any special treatment.

Today’s message was brief. _Meeting. Your cabin. 8am. Get your lazy ass out of bed and don’t be late._

Lee looked at the clock. 7.15. Frak.

\---

There were a hell of a lot of cars parked outside the cabin. Lee counted them as he pulled to a stop next to Kat, who had flagged him down as he drove up. He had expected the meeting to be him and Gianne, or at the most with Kat and Costanza, not this...there must be at least twenty people here, gathered near the door of the cabin. Lee had never seen some of them before. 

The hairs rose on the back of his neck. A meeting this large...did it mean the hints he had gleaned from Gianne were correct, and the attack _was_ imminent? Had she called it to fill them all in on the plans? 

Kat knocked on his window and held out a plastic bag.

“You know the drill, Lee.”

Unfortunately, he did. He pulled his phone out of his jacket and dropped it into the bag. “I hope you’re marking these up. I don’t want some frakker going off with my phone.”

Kat snickered. “What have you got on there, Lee? Dirty photos?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“The boss wants to see you before we start. She’s over there.” Kat nodded towards the treeline, and Lee glimpsed a flash of red hair.

“Right. Any idea what’s up?”

“Haven’t asked. I’m still on thin ice after Keikeya escaped.” Kat scowled. “It wasn’t my fault those boards were loose. It’s an old hut, it’s bound to weather...”

Lee made sympathetic noises, only half paying attention. “Jean will come round.”

“Not yet, she hasn’t. She put Costanza watching that detective last night. Didn’t trust me.”

That penetrated Lee’s preoccupation. He stared at Kat, feeling a shiver run down his back. “What detective?”

“The one from the hotel. You know,” said Kat, with a smile that skirted around the edge of a leer. She waved a hand towards Gianne’s truck.

Lee followed her pointing finger, his stomach lurching even before he saw Kara inside the truck. She was leaning against the back window, her eyes closed.

“What’s she doing here?” It took all his hard-won experience in dissimulation to keep his voice steady. Kara should have been back in the city by now, free and clear of all this…

“Jean caught her on the cameras sneaking around our hut at the Pass. Then we heard she was suddenly going back to the city, and Jean got worried about what she might be going to tell her cop friends. Can’t afford to have them crawling around here at the moment. Thought it was safer to pick her up and keep her quiet until it doesn’t matter any more.”

That confirmed it. The attack _must_ be about to happen. Gianne would never take the risk of abducting Kara otherwise. The cool, Laura-trained part of Lee’s brain ran through the implications, even as the rest of his mind roiled with panic, chanting a litany of _NotKara,NotKara, NotKara…_

Was she hurt? He couldn’t see any bruises on her face, but that didn’t mean anything. He clenched the fist farthest away from Kat, down between the seats, battling the urge to charge over and pull Kara out of the car, and punch anyone who dared to stand in his way.

_Don’t be an idiot. Laura taught you better than that._

He had to speak to Gianne. Maybe he could persuade her to let Kara go.

Lee parked his car and threaded his way between the rest of the cars to the treeline, carefully not looking towards Kara. He didn’t trust himself. A few of the people gathered by the cabin greeted him, and Lee shook hands and replied with only the vaguest idea what he was saying.

He walked towards Gianne slowly, almost hesitantly, trying to marshal his arguments. She was standing a few metres into the trees, talking to Costanza.

“I need you to stand guard on the approach, and I won’t have time to fill you in after, so…”

Lee stopped dead, then moved as quietly as he could to stand behind the closest tree, so he could listen to their conversation unobserved.

After a few seconds, everything else, even his fear for Kara, slipped out of his mind.

Gianne was telling Costanza the arrangements for the attack. The location, the timing...everything Lee had been trying to find out, and the details fitted with the fragments he had been able to uncover.

The target was the Caprica City pyramid stadium. Today. The day of the league finals. The stadium would be packed...

He had to get this information to Laura. Nothing else mattered now. Lee abandoned his ideas and began to formulate a new plan.

As it was clear the conversation was winding down, Lee moved carefully away from the trees and towards the cars. When Gianne and Costanza started to walk towards the cabin, he let them get well away from the treeline before he casually walked towards Gianne, calling her name.

“Kat said you wanted to talk to me.” 

Gianne turned to face him. She seemed relaxed, but Lee knew her well enough to see the nerves in the stiffness of her shoulders and the way she was tapping her fingers against her thigh. Lee was abruptly whisked back to their flat on Virgon, to Gianne feverishly chopping carrots.

 _No wonder she’s nervous. This is it. The big one. Zero hour. For both of us_.

“I did want to talk,” said Gianne. “Maybe you can guess about what.” She’d taken out the contact lenses, Lee realised. It was oddly uncanny to meet those familiar dark eyes again. 

“I imagine it’s about our guest in your truck,” he said. No point in pretending ignorance. Gianne wouldn’t have left Kara in full view if she didn’t want him to see her. This was a test.

“Why did you pick her up? She was going back to the city.”

“And who knows who she’d have talked to there. I couldn’t take the risk.” A hard light entered Gianne’s eyes. “Just as well I did. She’s no fool, your Kara. She realised who I really am.”

“She did?” Lee hadn’t been expecting that. “How?”

“She’s a cop. She puts evidence together.” Gianne could never hold back the sarcasm for long. “Though I think you let something slip.”

“I didn’t. I never mentioned your name.” 

Frak. This changed everything. Lee’s plans crumbled for a second time. If Kara had worked out Gianne’s true identity, she would never let her go free, even after the attack. She’d be too much of a threat, and he knew how Gianne dealt with threats. His throat closed up. He had to get Kara away from Gianne as soon as possible.

“I hope you didn’t let your guard down with her,” said Gianne, and Lee could tell from the look in her eyes that she knew. Knew about him and Kara. _Your Kara_ , she’d said a moment ago. She definitely knew. This was definitely a test. Maybe even a trap.

“I know better than that,” he said, keeping his voice level. “What do you plan to do with her?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” said Gianne, eyes fixed on his face. “I thought we could talk about it after the meeting.” She smiled slowly. “Maybe we could talk to her together, find out what else she knows. I understand you have a close relationship.”

Lee knew exactly what she meant to imply. That she would interrogate Kara, would hurt her if she didn’t co-operate...and knowing Kara, there was no way in hell she would co-operate. So Gianne would hurt her, and she wanted him to watch, maybe even take part, to prove his commitment to the cause. 

He understood that, and he could tell that Gianne knew he understood. He allowed a ripple of fear, of concern to pass over his face. Let her think she’d cowed him. 

“Whatever you think is best,” he said. “What’s this meeting about, anyway? Judging by the number of people here, it’s important. Can I have a preview?”

“No need, you’ll hear it all in a few minutes.” Gianne looked at her watch. “It’s time to start.” Her nerves showed through clearly for a moment.

Lee quickly sorted through his options, his mouth dry. This was definitely a test. But...it was a test for the Lee that Gianne thought she knew. The Lee who was sensible and cautious, who needed to be persuaded into action. The Lee who waited, and considered, and planned. Perhaps...perhaps he needed to use the other part of himself, the part he so rarely let run free, who could be bold and decisive and reckless, who could act fast without counting the consequences. Gianne wouldn’t expect that. 

It would be risky. Incredibly risky, and Lee wasn’t sure it would succeed, but it was the only way he could see to both get the information about the attack to Laura, and to rescue Kara. Looking at Gianne’s face, he knew coldly and absolutely that if he left Kara with Gianne she was dead anyway. Better a risk and a chance of living.

Kat came up to them. “Costanza says he’s guarding the entry road,” she said. “Where do you want me?”

“I want you to watch the other approaches to the cabin,” said Gianne. “Unlikely to be anyone up here at this hour, but you never know.” Lee listened to the instructions she gave Kat, planning and adjusting.

People began to move inside the cabin. “Are you coming, Lee?” asked Gianne.

“In a moment. I need to visit the little boys room,” said Lee, nodding towards the trees. “Drank too much coffee trying to wake up.”

“The little boys room?” Gianne looked at him with derision, as he knew she would. “Really, Lee, are you twelve? Don’t be long.” She turned to usher the others into the cabin.

Gianne had never respected him, Lee thought. Not really. Deep down she’d always seen him as too privileged, too soft, too weak, too hesitant. And if you didn’t respect someone, you tended to underestimate them.

Lee had taken full advantage of that over the years, and it looked as if that was still working in his favour. It wouldn’t last long, of course; but a little time, and a little luck was all he needed now.

\---

Kara’s arms ached. Hell, every part of her body ached. They’d tied her wrists around the headrest of the seat in front of her, forcing her to balance uncomfortably on the edge of the back seat of the truck. She couldn’t move back, and if she moved forward, she had to kneel on the floor of the truck with her arms stretched above her, a position she could only tolerate for so long.

They’d left her like this all night. An interminable sleepless night that had given her far too long to dwell on unpleasant possibilities. Jean - Gianne - had chosen to keep her alive for now, but Kara wasn’t sure how long that would last. She didn’t think Gianne particularly wanted to kill her - she wasn’t the kind who took pleasure in it - but if she decided it was the safest option, she would do it without hesitation. 

Towards dawn, exhaustion had finally overwhelmed her, and she fell into a daze with her head against the window, rousing every so often when she slipped off the seat and her arms jerked up. Once she woke to find the ranger called Costanza peering in at her. Kara’s throat burned and she tried to mouth the word ‘water’, but her lips were so cracked and stiff she couldn’t get them to move. Costanza turned away.

Cars started to arrive, and the space in front of the cabin was soon filled with people. Kara’s police training kicked in, and she tried to memorise the make and model and registration numbers of the cars, the faces of the people, anything distinctive or identifying about any of it. Pointless effort, probably, but she refused to give up yet. Besides, it gave her something to do, and took her mind off the pain.

Then she saw Lee.

He was stepping out of his car. It was a jolt to see him here, a piece of normality in this strange world she had fallen into. Except it wasn’t strange to him, she was reminded, as he walked towards the cabin, and several people stopped to greet him. He belonged here.

He could help her, though. If he saw her, he could get word to Laura, tell someone she was in trouble.

Lee headed past the cabin towards the trees. Kara wasn’t sure if he’d seen her. There was nothing on his face to indicate that he had, although she noticed that he didn’t look towards the truck she was in once as he walked past. Did that mean anything?

She was so focused on watching him that she lost her balance and fell forward. Her arms jerked up and the searing pain came with a wave of dizziness, dark spots floating in front of her eyes.

By the time it cleared, she had lost sight of Lee. She realised that the people milling around in front of the cabin were gradually moving inside. Some kind of meeting appeared to be starting. Gianne was the last to enter. She looked straight at Kara, and sent her an exaggerated wave and a smirk as she walked inside.

_If I get out of here, I'm going to punch that smirk down her throat._

Only two people remained outside. Kat and Costanza, the two rangers who had been with Gianne yesterday. Both were carrying rifles. Costanza walked down the rutted track that led to the road. Kat walked up and down in front of the cabin a few times, and then headed off uphill, into the trees.

As soon as Kat was out of sight a shadow fell over Kara’s face, and she looked up to see Lee outside the car. He held a finger up to his lips - _does he think I’m a frakking idiot?_ \- and slipped the other hand into his pocket. The car lights flashed once and he pulled the door open. Anger flashed across his face as he looked at her, then he pulled out a knife and cut through the tape binding her wrists. Kara looked around warily as he freed her, but there was no sign of either ranger returning.

The last bit of tape parted, and she was finally able to lower her arms. Kara let out a sobbing breath as another wave of pain and dizziness struck her. Lee’s hand was gentle on the back of her neck as he pushed her head down to help with the nausea, and then she felt him rubbing her arms briskly, restoring the circulation.

Kara knew they didn’t have much time. As soon as she felt she could lift her head without throwing up she did so, pushing Lee’s hands away. She nodded firmly in reply to the question on his face.

Kara wished she didn’t need the support of his arm to get out of the truck, or to walk to the treeline, but her legs were as numb as her arms had been, and at first all she could manage were weak and wobbly steps. Thank the gods that there was only one tiny window on this side of the cabin, high up on the wall. If they were spotted now, she was in no state to outrun anyone.

She realised they would have to leave on foot. Starting Lee’s car would raise the alarm, and Costanza was waiting on the access road with a rifle. So Kara gritted her teeth and ploughed through the pain, and by the time the cabin was out of sight behind the trees, she could walk without Lee’s help.

She recognised the path he was taking. It was the one that led to the hotel, that she had climbed up only a few days ago. She could make it that far, Kara told herself. It was all downhill.

They remained silent as they walked, communicating only with looks and gestures as they both scanned the trees to either side of the path. Kat must be somewhere nearby, so speech was too much of a risk. Kara was surprised how easily they managed to communicate without words, as if they were old colleagues.

Kara had lost all sense of time, but she remembered the next stretch of path, as the slope smoothed out into a level stretch across a plateau where the trees were thinner. It had been about ten or fifteen minutes walk from the cabin when she was last here. Maybe halfway to the hotel?

She was beginning to think they might actually get away with this when a shot rang out, shockingly loud in the silence. She could hear Kat’s voice shouting above them.

“Frak,” said Lee. “Can you run?” 

The concern in his eyes made her feel absurdly warm, despite everything.

“I’ll have to.” 

Kara ran. 

She didn’t know how she managed it, but she ran, spurred on by the noise of pursuit. Shots were coming from two directions now. Kat must have back-up.

They came to a stretch of path with no trees, as if a rockslide had swept them away at some point. No cover. Kara shared an anxious glance with Lee, but there was nowhere else to go, with a sheer drop beneath them. There was nothing they could do but make a run for it and pray to the gods.

They almost made it.

They were within touching distance of the next group of trees when more shots cracked out, and Lee fell to the ground in front of her. Kara had to swerve to avoid tumbling over him.

She bent down, hand outstretched. “Get up.”

Lee grasped her hand. He tried to pull himself up, then let out a groan as his leg buckled beneath him. Kara realised there was a dark patch of blood spreading across his lower leg. She felt very cold, suddenly, and her mouth was dry.

She grabbed Lee under his arms, and managed to drag him the few feet into the shelter of the trees. She pulled off her shirt and tied it around his leg, trying to remember her first aid training, straining to pull it tight.

Kara put an arm around his shoulders. “Come on, Lee. You have to get up.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I’ll help you.”

“I won’t be fast enough.” Lee looked down the path behind them. Kara could see flashes of coloured jackets in the trees. “You have to go on without me.”

Kara shook her head violently. “Lee-”

“No. Listen to me.” His voice was granite, unyielding, even though his breathing was ragged with pain. “You have to get to the hotel, and you have to find Laura. This is what you have to tell her. Listen carefully, you have to remember this.”

After a few words, Kara realised what he was telling her. It was the details of the attack. Her eyes met his, and he nodded once, sharply, in confirmation.

Kara understood. She listened.

“Have you got it?”

“Yes, Lee. I’ve got it,” she said, almost choking. She stared into his blue eyes, so fierce, so determined. “I won’t let you down.”

Voices were getting nearer. She had to go. Words bubbled in her throat, but there was no time to say any of them, so she leant forward and kissed him once, hard, on the mouth.

“I’ll come back for you, Lee.” She pulled back, met his eyes, tried to infuse him with her faith, her belief. “Hang on.”

_Trust me. I’ll come back. I won’t let you down._

Lee nodded, but she could see resignation flooding his face. “Don’t worry about me. Deliver the message. Kara, you have to go.”

“Don’t you dare give up. You hang on. I’ll come back.” 

It sounded more like a threat than a promise, but Lee smiled, full of tenderness and regret, piercing her as deeply as an arrow.

Kara turned and ran. 

She had no idea, afterwards, how she managed to keep running. She expected every moment to feel a bullet tear through her flesh, to feel hands grab her from behind. Every jolt as her feet hit the ground was agony to her abused muscles. She fell down twice, and the second time she cut her knee. Strangely, that sharp pain grounded her, helped her to fight through the larger grinding pain, and she picked herself up and ran on.

What drove her forward wasn’t the thought of the message she carried, or the thought of all the people who might die today if she failed to deliver it. It was the trust in Lee’s eyes as he’d given her the message, that last regretful smile.

She couldn’t let him down, and she needed to keep her promise. Help him as he’d helped her.

So Kara ran, and no bullet touched her, no hand reached for her. The sounds of pursuit died away, and the trees began to thin out, and then they were gone altogether, and there was the hotel, there was Galactica.

She stumbled through the front door to find Karl at the reception desk. He stared at her in amazement, and then dawning horror.

“Kara, what are you doing here? What happened to you?”

Kara waved his questions away. “It doesn’t matter.” Only one thing mattered. “Karl, you need to find Laura Roslin. I need to speak to her. Now.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Oh, of course Lee gets shot. I’ve never yet managed to write an action-oriented BSG story where he doesn’t get shot at some point. Why break the trend? LOL.
> 
> 2\. I feel this decision to go for broke and act fast to get out the information and rescue Kara is AU Lee’s equivalent of ‘I’m going to fly down that conveyor tunnel’. 
> 
> 3\. I will try not to leave you waiting too long with this cliffhanger, but the next chapter needs some changes before it's ready to post.


	21. Chapter 21

_ Caprica, three years ago _

“What do you think, Karl?” asks Zak, as they walk out of the old hotel.

Karl turns to look up at the shabby building. The cracked windows, the missing tiles, the broken gutters, the peeling varnish on the woodwork. 

“It’s got potential. Needs work, but it’s mostly cosmetic. We’ll have to get a surveyor to look at it properly, but the foundations and structure look sound.”

“There are enough rooms to be viable, but not too many for us to manage,” says Meg. “And it’s a great location. Just look at that view…”

She waves a hand as the four of them walk around the side of the hotel, to see the valley stretched out below them. 

“Definitely can’t complain about the view,” agrees Zak. He smiles at Meg, with a spark of excitement. “This is pretty much what we talked about, isn’t it?”

“It is. Thanks for telling us about this place, Lee.” Meg reaches out, squeezes his arm. “It’s definitely a contender.”

Karl murmurs agreement, and even Zak nods. 

The three of them wander off to inspect the outbuildings, deep in discussion. Lee stays behind, looking down at the view and trying not to feel guilty.

This hotel _ is _ a contender. It's almost exactly what Meg told him they were looking for, but of course that’s not the real reason Lee suggested it to them. 

The real reason is that it’s just outside the village of Piraeus, where Gianne has based herself. 

“Just think how convenient it would be, Lee,” she said, when she told him that the hotel was for sale. “It would give you an excuse for coming up here whenever you need to. The hotel will make the village busier, more tourists to use as camouflage. And there’s a cabin on the land which would be ideal for us to use.”

Laura also thought it an excellent idea. “My team will be able to pose as hotel guests,” she mused. “Easier to keep an eye on Jean’s activities, and for us to meet...I’ll have to choose a hobby that explains regular visits…”

“I don’t want to get Zak involved in all this,” said Lee, but Laura waved that aside.

“He won’t be involved. He’ll simply be running his hotel. He doesn’t need to know about any of this.”

Gianne said the same, and Lee knows in both cases what bullshit it probably is…

But.

But they’re both willing to give him the remaining money Zak, Meg and Karl need to buy the hotel. Lee has heard enough about their search over the last few months, the other places they’ve considered, to know that they don’t really have enough money to buy any suitable hotel without his help.

Zak needs this. He’s working in a busy restaurant at the moment, living in the city, and Lee can see it’s wearing on his nerves. The noise, the bustle, the stress. Meg is worried about him, Lee can tell. Living up here, being his own boss...everything would be so much better for Zak.

If he can make that happen, isn’t it worth it? Even if there are strings attached? Doesn’t he owe Zak that much?

Meg thinks he does. It’s down to her that Zak agreed to see Lee when he came back to Caprica, but she only arranged that after verbally tearing him to shreds for not sticking around after their mother died.

“Where were you, Lee? He needed you. I never thought you wouldn’t be there when he needed you.”

Lee couldn’t tell her the truth, so there was no good answer. Meg was not satisfied, and tore him apart even more by laying out the cold hard facts of what Zak had been through. Lee knew the outlines of it...the depression, the suicide attempt, the psychiatric hospital...but Meg piled on detail after devastating detail, determined to make him understand how bad things were. It made Lee realise how much she must love his brother, to support him through all that. He’s so glad Zak has her, has someone who will always be there for him, no matter how tough things get. He owes Meg too, more than he can ever repay.

His guilt and his gratitude must have been equally clear, because Meg agreed to persuade Zak to talk to him. Two years later, things are better between them than Lee ever hoped they would be. Zak still holds him at a distance, still makes bitter comments, still hasn’t forgiven him for leaving, but Lee didn’t expect that. It’s enough that Zak will see him, and talk to him, mostly on a friendly footing. More than enough.

The others are walking back towards him. 

“Well?”

“I think this is the one,” says Karl, enthusiasm flaring in his eyes.

Zak nods in agreement. “I like it here,” he says. The expression on his face, looking up at the hotel, is excited and hopeful. It reminds Lee of the old Zak, before their mother’s death, and that seals the decision for him.

“Then we’re agreed,” says Meg. “We’ll make an offer. If you can definitely put up the rest of the money, Lee?”

“Yes,” he says, his mouth dry. “It’s all arranged.”

“Thanks, Lee,” says Zak. “I appreciate this. I really do.”

Their eyes meet, and for a shining moment there are no barriers between them, no secrets or guilt or resentment, and Lee knows this is the right decision. If he can give Zak his dream, give him and Meg a home and a business, somewhere they can be happy, what does the rest of it matter? He won’t let it.


	22. Chapter 22

_Caprica, present day_

They shut Lee in the boot of Gianne’s truck. She wasn’t taking any chances this time. Lee tried to search for any mechanism that might release the hatch, but in darkness, with his hands bound together, it was almost impossible. It didn’t help that every movement sent a white hot stab of pain through his right leg. The bleeding had subsided, thanks to Kara’s improvised dressing, but the wound needed proper treatment. If infection set in...well, the cold reality was that he probably wouldn’t need to worry about that.

 _Hang on_ , said Kara’s voice in his head. _I’ll come back for you._

His life was in Gianne’s hands now, though, not his own.

Thankfully Gianne hadn’t realised that he’d sent Kara off with the details of the attack. She still didn’t know he’d overheard her talking to Costanza. When they dragged Lee back up to the cabin to face her, he insisted that he’d freed Kara because he cared about her and didn’t want her to be hurt, and he thought Gianne had believed him.

“You always had a weak stomach for that kind of thing,” she had said. “Too sentimental for your own good.” Then she had stopped, and scowled, and Lee could see the thoughts in her head clicking together. “Frak. Keikeya. I knew something was off. That was you too, wasn’t it? You let him go.”

Lee had admitted it, because it bolstered his story that he’d freed both of them only because he didn’t like killing. He needed Gianne to believe that, so she didn’t suspect anything else. 

Gianne had been furious, and hit him across the face. He could still taste the blood in his mouth. He’d got off lightly, though, because Gianne had realised they needed to abandon the cabin before Kara led the authorities there, and started issuing orders.

From what Lee had heard, as they led him away to Gianne’s truck, it sounded as if Gianne was sending everyone down to Caprica City, to get into position ready for the attack. Going ahead as planned, right to where Laura would be waiting for them.

If Kara had found her…if she’d made it safely to the hotel...

Lee shook his head, chasing away the doubts. If Kara hadn’t got the information to Laura, it was too late anyway. If she had...then he had successfully played his part, making Gianne think her plan was still safe.

The truck rumbled into life beneath him. They were moving out. 

Lee hoped Gianne would ignore him until the attack was over. It was his only hope, if a slim one. He reflected ruefully that if they ignored him long enough, his leg wound might do the job for them.

The truck braked suddenly, sending Lee jolting forward, slamming his leg into the wall of the boot. Pain flared through every nerve in his body, and blackness overwhelmed him.

\---

“Kara, you need to eat something.”

Meg unwrapped an energy bar and held it out to her. 

Kara pushed it away. “I can wait. We need to find Lee.”

“I think Laura has that covered.” The hotel dining room was filled with people making phone calls or hunched over laptops, with Laura directing operations in the centre, the calm eye of the storm.

“I still can’t believe that half our guests are CSS agents,” said Karl. He looked bewildered, but he’d been swift to act when Kara stumbled into reception and gasped out that she needed to see Laura. No fuss, no questions, Karl had simply gone and found her. He’d always been good in a crisis.

“I can’t believe _Lee_ is a CSS agent,” said Meg. She looked equally shell-shocked. Zak had taken the news the most calmly of the three, to the point that Kara wondered if Lee had told him something, or at least hinted at it.

Kara had told them the bare facts, enough to explain who Laura was, and what she was doing here, and why Lee was in trouble, but there hadn’t been time to go into details. Her legs had collapsed under her at that point, and it wasn’t until Meg had sat her down, wrapped her in a blanket and forced a mug of hot sweet tea down her that Kara’s brain had started functioning again.

“I know the agents are all busy,” Kara said, “but their first priority is stopping the bomb attack. It isn’t Lee.”

“I’ll go talk to them. See what they’ve found.” Zak stood up. He hadn’t said much since Kara told them Lee had been injured. He was very pale, but his eyes were sharp and determined. “If they can give us a location, we’ll go look for him ourselves.” He took the energy bar from Meg and handed it to Kara. “So eat. You’ll be no help if you keel over.”

Kara ate. She did feel better for it, much to her annoyance.

Zak returned as she finished the last bite. “The CSS went to the cabin, but it was empty. No-one around. There was…” He faltered, then took a deep breath. “There was blood on the ground by the cabin, and on the path going down to where you left Lee. It could mean...but they don’t think so, they think the SFM took Lee with them. If they had...they would have left him there, and the CSS haven’t found...a body.” He reached out blindly for Meg’s hand, and she gripped it tightly.

“Have they tracked the SFM vehicles?” asked Karl.

“Yes, they’ve picked them up on traffic cameras from Kara’s description.” Kara had never been more grateful for her police training. Despite her shocked state, all the information she had memorised about the SFM vehicles while a prisoner had come pouring out of her automatically...makes, models, registration numbers... 

“They’re driving towards Caprica City. Thanks to Lee and Kara, Laura knows where they are heading, so she’s arranging for CSS agents in the city to intercept them.”

“So Lee’s been taken with them to the city.” Kara clutched at the thread of hope. If the leg wound wasn’t too bad, if he hadn’t bled out, if Gianne had put off dealing with him until after the attack, then maybe...she thought of Lee’s face when she had left him, the terrible acceptance in his eyes, and shook her head in denial. He could make it through this. She had to believe that.

“The CSS agents aren’t sure,” said Zak. “There’s one vehicle they haven’t picked up on the cameras, one of the park ranger trucks. The one that belongs to Jean Barolay.”

“He’ll be with her,” said Kara immediately. “She’ll have wanted to deal with him herself. It’s personal for her.” The others looked confused, and Kara realised she hadn’t told them this part of it. “Jean is really Gianne. Lee’s ex-girlfriend. She didn’t die, she just changed her identity.”

They stared at her in silence.

“Did I actually wake up this morning, or am I dreaming all this?” said Karl finally. 

Kara reached out and pinched his arm. Hard. “Not dreaming, Karl.”

“Gianne…” Zak’s gaze turned inward. “I knew something wasn’t right with Lee, but all this...I don’t know him at all, do I?”

“Yes, you do,” said Meg. She tilted his face towards her so that he was looking into her eyes. “We both do. He’s still our Lee, the Lee we grew up with, whatever may have happened to him since.”

Zak’s eyes locked with hers, steadying. His face cleared. “You’re right, Meg. He’s still our Lee, and we’re going to get him back. They’re looking for Jean’s truck.”

\---

The boot popped open. To Lee, the hazy daylight was a blinding glare, and it was a minute before his eyes adjusted enough to see dark clouds and grey sky, and Gianne looking down at him, holding a gun.

“Get out,” she said.

Lee pulled himself into a sitting position, gritting his teeth against the pain. Dark spots danced across his vision. 

“I’ll need help for that,” he said. Gianne looked disbelieving. “Gunshot wound to the leg? Remember?”

She shrugged. “There’s no one to help.”

“What, no minions with you?”

“I sent them ahead to the city.” A smile spread across her face. “It’s zero hour, Lee.”

Lee drew on all his acting ability to look surprised.

“Today? Really?”

Gianne nodded. There was a feverish, almost excited look in her eyes.

“Then why aren’t you with the others?”

“I’ll catch up by the time they get into position. This won’t take long.”

The note in her voice made Lee look more closely at their surroundings, and realise he knew where they were. He’d been here before. Twice. His heart felt like lead as the implications sank in.

“Are you sure?” he said, trying to buy time to think. “You don’t want anything to go wrong, you’ve been working towards this for years-”

“No, Lee. _We’ve_ been working towards this for years.” His words seemed to flip a switch. Suddenly Gianne’s composure evaporated, and her eyes blazed into his. “Five years, here on Caprica. We should be sharing it together, accomplishing this together, but instead...” She paused, breathing heavily. “Instead you betrayed me.”

“Gianne-”

“You betrayed me, Lee, betrayed our cause, and for what? A reporter you don’t even know, and a woman you frakked a few times.” Her voice rose, full of anger and hurt.

 _That’s why she sent everyone else away. She knew she’d get emotional, didn’t want them to see any weakness_.

“They’re innocent people, they didn’t deserve to-”

“My father was innocent too! All he wanted to do was provide for our family, and the Caprican company he worked for killed him for it, because they didn’t give a shit about his safety.”

“I know, Gi, and I’m sorry. It was a terrible thing to happen. But hurting other innocent people won’t make it right-”

“It will if it changes things. If we can get the law changed, companies regulated, stop the exploitation…” Her fervent voice broke, and she looked at him, her dark eyes hard. “But you know all this, Lee. Gods, how many times have we had this same frakking debate, and you still refuse to accept that hard choices have to be made-”

“When it comes to killing people, then yes I do-”

“Oh, stop being such a frakking hypocrite! All these years, hiding behind excuses, refusing to get directly involved...well, let me tell you, Lee, it changes nothing. Your hands are just as bloody as mine.” Her face was hard with contempt, years of resentment flooding out. “Sourcing the money and supplies to kill them makes you just as culpable as if you set the bomb yourself, but you’re too much of a coward to see that.”

“I do see that.” Lee forced out the words through trembling lips. Her words had struck too close to home, too close to all the thoughts he tried to avoid. “Don’t think I don’t. But I couldn’t let Keikeya and Kara die.”

“You could have.” Gianne glared at him with cold fury. “Yes, you could have. But you chose not to. You chose saving them over me. Over ten years of friendship...over ten years of working together for the cause…”

Lee hadn’t expected her to be so angry, to take what he had done so personally. Nothing ever seemed to bother Gianne, encased as she was in the armour of her belief.

“I should have expected it,” she said harshly. Her eyes were bright, almost as if she were blinking back tears. “You’ve always been weak. Mark warned me you wouldn’t change when I asked for you to come to Caprica with me, but I didn’t believe him. I hoped…” 

Lee was amazed to hear real pain in her voice. He’d thought for years that she’d never seen him as more than a useful tool, but he could tell now that he’d been wrong. It was clear to read in her face. She _had_ cared for him, maybe even still did…

_Maybe I can use that._

The thought came unprompted, and Lee was filled with self-loathing. What kind of person had he become, that when he realised that the first woman he loved had loved him back, his first thought was how to use it to his advantage?

“Well,” said Gianne, after a long pause. “I was wrong, and I know when to admit defeat. So we’ll finish this as it started, you and me.” The distress slid off her face like a snake sloughing its skin. “Get out of the truck, Lee.”

“Why should I?” he said, testing the waters. “I know where we are. Why should I make it easy for you? I should make you do it here, so you have to clean the evidence out of your truck.”

“Your choice, Lee.” All emotion was gone now, her dark eyes flat and cold. “But if you force me to do it here, I’ll make it slow.”

Lee considered. He was tempted to still refuse, to get it over with but…he could hear Kara’s voice in his head. _Don’t you dare give up_. He doubted it would make any difference, but...

“Very well, I’ll get out. It would be easier with two hands, though.” He held up his hands in front of him, taped together at the wrists.

“Oh, no. I’m not letting you loose.” She’d kept the gun trained on him the whole time, despite her turmoil. Always the professional, Gianne.

Lee managed to get out of the truck. It was not easy with his hands bound, and it took a long time. He almost passed out when he had to swing his right leg over the side of the boot.

“Walk,” said Gianne, when he’d stopped retching, and the worst of the dizziness had passed.

Lee walked, or rather hobbled. Gianne followed behind him, holding the gun. Every time he stumbled, she grabbed his arm before he could fall, digging the muzzle of the gun into his back. After a while, Lee couldn’t manage more than a few steps without the support, so they walked like that permanently, pressed almost as close together as the lovers they had once been. How ridiculous they must look.

Lee knew where they were going. As he’d said to Gianne, he recognised this windswept place. The slope of scree looming above them, the boggy ground underfoot. 

They had been here twice before. Both times they had arrived with a third companion, and both times they had returned without him. 

It was a remote spot. No views or lakes or waterfalls to draw tourists. Few people came here, or saw what happened here. 

Lee knew this was the last walk he would ever take, and part of him was at peace with that. As if this was the logical endpoint, the final steps on the path he’d been walking all these years. Maybe this fate had been waiting for him from the first moment he met Gianne. She was right, it was fitting that it should end this way, just the two of them. 

Part of him felt that he deserved it. He had been blind and stupid, closed his mind to any doubts or misgivings, even though he knew what he was doing was wrong, and the people at the Trade Ministry had died as a result. There had been other people, as well, on Virgon and on Caprica, sacrificed as part of his cover...Gianne was right, his hands were as bloody as hers...

He could be at peace with this ending, Lee thought. If Kara had got the information to Laura, if Laura was able to stop the attack...then he would have reached the goal he had been working towards all these years, atoned for his mistakes. 

It would be enough.

A treacherous part of his brain protested, thinking of Zak, their reconciliation, the prospect of finally repairing their relationship after all these years. Of Kara, the promise she’d held out to him... _hang on. I’ll come back for you_.

Why did he keep remembering that? He’d known it was impossible when she said it. No-one was coming for him, this was the end of the line…

“Stop here.”

They stood on a rocky outcrop above a ravine. Below them, Lee could hear a stream, glimpse it through a thicket of trees. He wondered if Harry’s body was still down in those trees. Probably not, animals would have scavenged it long ago. Harry should have known stealing from Gianne was an unforgivable offence. The other man too...Lee had forgotten his name. He’d been a drunk, talked too much in the bar in Piraeus and Gianne had decided he was an unacceptable risk…

Lee had watched her kill them both, because stopping her would have broken his cover. He’d told himself they were both SFM, that they’d chosen to get involved with terrorism and murder, to take the risk, but that didn’t make it right, did it? Perhaps this was a fitting judgement upon him...now _he_ was her unacceptable risk.

The pressure of the gun against his back disappeared as Gianne stepped away. Lee turned to face her. He would damn well make her look him in the face as she did this.

He was shaken by her expression. She looked sad, even regretful, but there was no uncertainty. Gianne had judged it was necessary to kill him to protect her cause, and that was all that mattered to her.

Lee thought of Robert. He thought of the people who had died in the Trade Ministry bomb. He thought of Harry the thief, and of the drunk who couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He thought of Billy Keikeya, and Kara. He thought of all the people who might die in the pyramid stadium today if Laura couldn’t prevent the attack. He thought of all the people who might die at Gianne’s hands in the future, because she thought it necessary.

The thought hardened, turned into a purpose. If he deserved this, then she did too.

“I wish it hadn’t come to this, Lee. I really do. But I can’t let you risk the secrecy of our movement, undermine my decisions, because you’re too weak to make sacrifices.” 

Gianne was calm now...too calm. He needed a distraction, something to knock her off balance…

Of course. _Of course._ Too late for it to matter now, anyway...

“Oh come on, Gianne.” Lee made himself laugh, harsh and mocking. “Do you still think that was what this was about? I thought you would have worked it out by now.”

Gianne went absolutely still, frowning. “Worked what out?”

“Obviously I gave you too much credit. Do you really think I only freed Keikeya and Kara out of the kindness of my heart?”

“What?” Gianne still looked confused, but Lee thought he saw the first flicker of horrified comprehension in her eyes.

“Things haven’t gone well for you in Caprica, have they, Gi? Oh, you’ve had some small successes, but...the big plans haven’t quite worked out, for one reason or another. Supplies gone missing, or agents disappearing, or random police patrols, or unexpected delays.” Lee took a step forward, his eyes locked on Gianne’s face, and she took a step back. “Almost as if someone was working against you. As if the CSS had enough information to put a hitch in your plans.”

Lee watched it sink in. Watched her put it together, watched the humiliation and fury rise in her face. 

“No,” she said, shaking her head in denial. “You didn’t, Lee. You couldn’t.”

“Yes, I could. And I did.” He took another step forward, and again she moved back instinctively, towards the edge of the ravine. He wasn’t sure she realised she’d done it. She was too consumed by his revelation.

“You’ve had a CSS agent right under your nose all this time, and you never even noticed.” He made it as cruel and mocking as he could, and she almost flinched away from him, her face riven with horror and disbelief. It gave Lee more satisfaction than he had expected.

_How do you like it, Gianne? How do you like being the one duped and lied to?_

“How long?” she demanded, her voice rasping.

“Have I been working for the CSS?” said Lee. He tensed his aching muscles, getting ready to move. “Since I left prison. All those years, and you never even had a suspicion.”

 _Or maybe she had, now and then…?_ Lee decided to follow his instinct.

“Or maybe you did. Maybe you sensed there was something off. Discrepancies in what I said, what I did, but you turned a blind eye, because it was me.” Something twisted in Gianne’s face, and Lee knew he was right. He took another step forward. “You ignored it, because you wanted me by your side, you wanted to be right about me, you couldn’t bear to admit to Mark that you’d been wrong, that you’d been weak and emotional and blind-”

“Shut up!” Gianne’s voice shattered. She was shaking, her eyes dark and full of hate. “Shut up, you frakking bastard!”

Lee had been watching her closely as he spoke each word, so carefully that he saw the exact moment when her raised hand began to tighten on the trigger. He gathered all his remaining strength, and flung himself forward.

He heard the gun fire, felt the impact, but his momentum was too great for it to stop him. He’d backed them close enough to the edge that he didn’t need much force. He crashed into Gianne, exactly as he’d planned, and sent both of them tumbling into the ravine.

\---

Kara ate two more energy bars, and Zak and Meg made tea and coffee for everyone. She tried not to look at the clock. It only made the waiting worse.

Laura came over to join them while she drank her coffee.

“Have you found him?” asked Zak.

“Not yet. My colleagues in the city have sight of the main SFM group, and are moving to intercept. It should all be over in the next hour, and if Lee’s with them we should find him.”

“He’ll be with Gianne,” said Kara. She was sure of it. “Did you find her truck yet?”

“I think we have,” said Laura. “That’s why I came over. Given the lack of traffic cameras up here, we asked Mountain Rescue to help to find her truck. We didn’t tell them why we were looking, of course, only to call in if they saw it and not approach her. That man from the garage in Piraeus - Tyrol? - just called to say the truck was parked at a trailhead not far from the Orestes Pass. No sign of anyone with it.”

Karl had pulled a map from behind the bar, and spread it out on the table. “Is this the place?”

Laura called over the agent who had taken the call from Tyrol. He looked at the place Karl was pointing to, and nodded. “That fits with what he told me.” 

“A lot of paths spread out from that trailhead,” said Karl. “It’s a lot of ground to cover. How many agents do you have spare?”

“Only two,” said Laura. “Tyrol is calling in back-up from Mountain Rescue.”

“We’ll go too,” said Kara. She looked around at the other three, and they nodded immediately. “We’ll help search.”

“Are you sure you’re up to it, Kara?” asked Laura. Kara looked at her with disdain, and she actually smiled. “Very well. I have no objection to you all helping, but follow my agents’ instructions. I’ll let them know what happens in the city.” She paused, and for a moment her smooth professional mask slipped away. “I hope you find him. Lee’s worked for me a long time.”

Kara could tell that Laura thought it was a slim hope. The look in her eyes was someone already grieving a loss. 

She wasn’t going to give up on Lee. Not yet. Not until she had proof there was no hope left. Her eyes met Zak’s, and she could see that he felt exactly the same way.

“Don’t underestimate my brother,” he said to Laura, his voice sharp. “People often do, and it’s always a mistake.”

“He’s survived these people for ten years,” said Kara. “All he needs to do is hang on a few hours longer.”

Laura smiled again, and this time it reached her eyes. “I hope you’re right. Both of you.”

\---

Rain was falling on Lee’s face. The ground beneath him was soft and boggy, slick and wet, almost as if he was lying in a pool of water...

He tried to move, but it hurt too much. Not only the familiar pain in his right leg; he couldn’t move his left leg either, and his right shoulder was a starburst of agony that spiralled out through his entire body.

He heard a noise to his left, an odd whistling sound.

He turned his head, and saw Gianne lying next to him. She seemed to be trying to speak. Blood bubbled on her lips.

Lee wondered why she was holding one arm straight up in the air. It seemed very awkward. Then he realised it wasn’t her arm. 

It was a broken tree branch, sticking out of her chest.

Lee tried to move his left hand, and realised his wrists were still bound together. He gritted his teeth and tilted his body onto his left side, groaning with the pain of the effort. He trailed his hands along the ground until he felt the brush of Gianne’s fingers, and gripped them.

The memory that came to his mind wasn’t the first time they met. Or the first time they kissed, or made love. No, it was the day of the trial, the day he found out his mother had died, when Gianne had held his hand in that white box of a room and stopped him from falling apart.

So he held her hand until that terrible whistling noise stopped, until her fingers went slack under his.

He rolled back against the ground, so he was looking upwards. It was slightly less painful, but not enough to make a difference. The pain was smothering him, filling his mouth and nose, every breath was a struggle.

It rained again, harder, beating down on his face. He felt as if he was sinking into the boggy ground beneath him. He imagined he was floating on the surface of a lake, the water deep and dark around him, rock walls soaring above him.

It was comforting. Lee thought about closing his eyes and sliding down into that deep water, far away from the pain and the cold and the rain. It would be so easy.

Instead he fought to keep floating, to keep his eyes open.

Because Kara had said she would come back for him. 

And Lee believed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shall miss writing Gianne and her twisted relationship with Lee. She did love him as far as she was capable of it, but that wasn't going to stop her killing him. I went back to check something in Chapter 19 when writing this, and realised there's a lot of Ominous Foreshadowing for this chapter that I wasn't aware I'd written in! Even the fake death being falling off a cliff :)
> 
> As you can tell, there's a lot of wrapping up to do in the final chapter...


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of the past storyline, and it’s the night of Karl’s 25th birthday party...

_Caprica, two years ago_

Lee knocks back his glass of ambrosia and wonders why he agreed to come to this birthday party. 

It’s not that he doesn’t like Karl Agathon. He’s been a good friend to Zak, and the more Lee’s got to know Karl, since they bought the hotel, the more he likes him. He has a dubious sense of humour, and can be incredibly annoying when the mood takes him, but he’s solid and reliable when it counts.

It’s more that Lee’s not in the mood for a party this evening. Not after what happened yesterday, what he watched Gianne do. What he let Gianne do. He can still see Harry’s desperate face if he closes his eyes, hear his last incoherent jumble of words before Gianne fired, see his body toppling down into the ravine.

The guilt rises up again in his throat, almost choking him, and Lee signals to the barman for another ambrosia. He knows that drinking away his troubles will only help temporarily, but at the moment it seems like the only viable option. He may as well get drunk here rather than alone in his flat. The ambrosia is better than the cheap crap his local store sells.

Besides, Zak asked him to come tonight, and as usual, he jumped at any sign of an olive branch. He misses Zak so much, the easy companionship they had, the comfortable shorthand sprung out of a shared childhood. Somehow he misses it even more now he sees Zak regularly, now he’s so close but still so distant in the ways that matter most.

Zak and Meg were sitting at the bar with him, but Karl dragged them off to talk to someone about the hotel, and everyone else here seems to be Karl’s cop buddies, who are all busy talking shop.

So Lee has been sitting here alone, working through glass after glass of ambrosia, and watching the blonde woman sitting at the other side of the bar.

Shining. 

That’s the word that springs to mind when he looks at her. The flecks of gold in her hair, gleaming in the bright lights of the bar. The sparkle in the widest, most infectious smile he’s ever seen. The vitality in her loud laugh, the energy in the expressive gestures she makes when she’s talking, as if the force within her burns so brightly that her body can barely contain it.

_She_ knows people here. She’s talking to someone different every time he looks over. She makes the people she’s talking to laugh, even if sometimes they look uneasy about it.

That’s the other aspect of her shining, the sharp edge that glints in the corner of her smile, the dangerous spark in her eyes, that speak of hidden weapons. Her brightness could dazzle, maybe even blind, if you got too close, Lee thinks.

He’s not sure he would mind.

He keeps watching her.

She looks in her element, surrounded by friends, the life and soul of the party.

But...

But...then there’s a lull, she’s standing on her own for a few minutes, finishing her drink - she’s put away double the amount of ambrosia Lee has in the time he’s been watching her, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting her, she must have a cast-iron stomach - and her eyes catch Lee’s across the bar.

He recognises the look in her eyes. It’s the look of someone who knows what it is to be alone in a crowd, just as he does. To feel as if you are watching all these happy, laughing people from space, hovering above them in the cold dark.

He feels an acute, ridiculous pang of kinship, of solidarity, and he finds himself smiling at her. It spills out of him, a warm, uninhibited smile, with all his fascination behind it. She looks startled.

“Lee.” He turns to find Zak beside him. “We’re going home. Meg’s got a headache.”

Lee looks from his brother’s red mouth to Meg’s flushed face and laughs inwardly, but he says nothing.

After they’ve left, he looks back towards the shining woman, but she’s gone. The intensity of his disappointment surprises him.

Then he hears a voice behind him.

“What’s your name?”

She’s here. 

Lee stares, his mouth falling open, as she slides onto the stool next to his. Her eyes are astonishing close up, a mixture of green and brown and gold, like a cat’s. Definitely eyes that could dazzle him, or even blind him. He still doesn’t care.

She raises an eyebrow, and he abruptly realises he hasn’t answered her question.

“I’m Lee.” 

“Well Lee, are you a cop?”

“No.”

“Related to a cop? Dating a cop?”

“No. I’m not dating anyone.”

That smile he’s been admiring spreads across her face, slow and almost predatory. “In that case, Lee, you can buy me a drink.”

Her easy arrogance makes Lee bristle. He feels he has to at least put up a token protest. “What makes you think I want to buy you a drink?”

Her smile shifts, that glinting sharp edge suddenly very evident. “You mean besides the way you’ve been eye-frakking me across the bar for the last hour?”

Lee can feel his face is turning red. She laughs, and it burns straight through him like a comet, heat trailing in its wake. “Thought so. I’m Kara.”

The room seems suddenly both brighter and softer round the edges, as if the real world has stepped away for a while. As if he’s in a golden, glittering bubble, where anything can happen. Where he can be anyone he wants to be, and his past doesn’t matter.

So Lee buys her a drink, and they argue about pyramid teams.

Kara buys him a drink, and they argue about where to get the best burgers in Caprica City.

She doesn’t ask any questions about himself, and he follows suit. Nothing personal. She knows nothing about him, and he knows nothing about her, and it’s liberating.

So when Kara kisses him, Lee kisses her back. Pulls her towards him, tilts his head to get a better angle, slips his tongue in her mouth. Feels sparks fizzing along every nerve in his body, exploding in his head until for once he stops thinking. All his worries, all his bad memories shrivel into ash, consumed by the power of her presence and the force of his desire.

He must have drunk a lot more than he’d thought, because time blurs, and things progress to the point where he’s got Kara pressed up against a wall, one of her legs wrapped around his. Her head is flung back, and his mouth is moving hungrily over her neck, and she has one hand under his shirt and the other down the back of his jeans, pulling him into her...and then the bouncer appears and tells them to leave.

They stumble out of the bar, laughing as they hold each other upright. On the rain-dark street, all Lee can see is Kara, glowing brighter than the neon signs surrounding them.

When she tugs him by the hand towards the motel, and asks him a question with her eyes, Lee doesn’t hesitate. He doesn’t consider, or weigh up the risks, or worry about the consequences. For the first time in years, he throws caution to the wind, and follows his instincts.

He says yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Lee was pretty much gone over Kara from the first night...as Zak implied, casual is not his middle name. It’s barely in his vocabulary.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, the final chapter! Which is the longest in the whole story. Please note there is a time jump of five months between the two scenes in this chapter - I have tried to make it clear in the formatting.

_ Caprica, present day _

Hospital waiting rooms always brought back memories of her mother’s last illness to Kara. This was a private hospital, much plusher than the one her mother had died in; the walls were freshly painted, the chairs were much more comfortable, and the vending machine was in working order; but the smell was the same, the stale whiff of sickness underlying the disinfectant. The oppressive atmosphere was the same.

They had arrived at the trailhead to find Galen Tyrol following tracks in the wet ground, leading from Gianne’s abandoned truck. They had helped him follow the trail to the edge of a ravine, where the tracks abruptly stopped. It had taken Kara longer than it should have to realise, with a lurch of her stomach, that the logical place to search was down. Tyrol’s colleagues from Mountain Rescue had joined them at that point, equipped with field glasses, and they’d started searching, aware that they only had a few hours of daylight remaining. Eventually Zak had spotted a flash of bright colour among the muddy browns and greens below them. Thank the gods Lee had been wearing a blue jacket.

Spotting him had been the easy part. It had taken a long time, and several false starts, to find a route to get down to the bottom of the ravine without breaking their necks. When they finally reached him, Kara had thought for one heart-stopping moment that Lee was as dead as Gianne was next to him, until Zak’s fumbling hands had found his brother’s pulse.

Getting Lee out of the ravine to a place where the air ambulance could collect him had been even more difficult. Carrying an unconscious man, strapped to a stretcher, over such rocky, uneven ground...it had left Kara with an even deeper respect for the Mountain Rescue workers. Not to mention the air ambulance crew who had winched Lee up to the helicopter.

They’d arrived back at the hotel to discover that Laura’s operation had been successful. The bomb attack had been prevented, and all the SFM supporters arrested. The atmosphere was jubilant, grins and backslapping and celebratory drinking. Zak had taken one look and walked straight out again, and Kara followed him.

Meg found them smoking in the car park a few minutes later.

“Laura’s going to get someone to take us to the hospital,” she said. “I didn’t think either of us were safe to drive.”

“You’re probably right,” said Zak, looking at his hand. It was trembling as he held the cigarette.

“Can I come too?” Kara found the words tumbling out of her. “To the hospital?”

“Sure, if you want, but you don’t have to.” Meg looked surprised. “Karl’s offered to stay here and deal with all the guests who  _ aren’t _ government security agents, so you can stay with him, if you’d rather. We’ll phone, keep you posted.”

Kara shook her head firmly. “No. No...I want to come.”

“All right,” said Meg, her eyes soft. “I’ll go see if Laura’s found us a driver.”

Kara stubbed out her cigarette, grinding it into the wall. Zak put a hand on her arm, and she turned to find him watching her closely.

“I didn’t realise,” he said. “That you loved him back.”

All Kara could do was nod. She felt Zak’s grip tighten on her arm, almost painfully.

“I can’t lose him,” he said. “I can’t.”

The jagged look in his eyes made Kara put her hand over his, and they stood there in silent support until Meg came back with the driver.

Kara wasn’t sure how long it had been since they had arrived at the hospital. Reaction was kicking in, now the crisis was over, and everything seemed vague and distant to her, blurred around the edges. Perhaps it was better that way. If there was bad news, she would rather be numb to hear it.

The doors of the waiting room swung open. They all looked up with varying degrees of hope or dread, but the person who entered was Laura Roslin.

“How is he?” she asked, cutting straight to the point. She could probably see that none of them were in the mood for pleasantries.

“Still in surgery,” said Meg. “As far as we know. It’s been five hours since we saw the doctor.” 

“The bullet wound?” asked Laura. She took a seat, putting down the plastic cup of coffee she held on a table. She was so pale she seemed almost translucent, except for the dark shadows under her eyes.

“Two bullet wounds,” said Meg. “He’d been shot in the shoulder some time after Kara left him. There were broken bones, too. From the fall. Maybe internal injuries, they weren’t sure.”

“The doctor told me to call Dad,” said Zak, his voice hoarse. “So I did. He’s coming.”

Kara could see Laura knew what that meant. She bowed her head, and for a moment her shoulders slumped, and she looked unutterably weary. Only a moment; then she raised her head and straightened her spine, her professional mask back in place.

“Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?”

“Of course not.” Zak looked surprised. “But don’t you have other things to do?”

“Yes, but they can wait for a short while. I’ve just had word that Mark Leroux has been arrested, so it’s all processing and paperwork now.”

“You managed to track him down?”

“Oh, we’ve been following him ever since he left Lee’s cabin. That was the point of the meeting Billy Keikeya saw, so that Lee could get close enough to plant a tracker. Hidden in a gift Lee and Gianne gave to Mark for old times’ sake.”

“I still can’t get my head around that,” said Meg, shifting in her seat and stretching out her legs. “That they managed to suck Lee into the SFM. He was always so level-headed, so sensible. The last person I would have expected…”

Zak was shaking his head. “I understand it. You’re partly right, Meg. Lee works very hard to be level-headed and sensible, and he succeeds, ninety-five percent of the time. Until something pushes him too far and he blows up and does something completely crazy.” He let out a long sigh, his shoulders shaking. “Remember the time he got suspended from school for beating up that boy who was bullying the younger kids? Or when he started an online campaign to boycott the local bakery because of the owner’s racist opinions? Dad had to pay the guy off so he didn’t sue Lee for harassment.”

_ Or deciding to rescue me from Gianne instead of slipping away to Laura quietly with the information about the attack, and getting shot for it,  _ thought Kara. She was going to have words with Lee about that when -  _ not if _ , she insisted fiercely - she got the opportunity.

“I remember that boycott campaign. That was Lee? I didn’t know.” Meg looked as if she was re-evaluating her memories. “But there’s a big leap between that kind of thing and getting involved with terrorists…”

“It’s a slow slide, when they recruit people,” said Laura. Zak and Meg both looked startled, as if they had forgotten she was there. “It starts off innocently enough. Petitions and protests, all legitimate and above board. Then the suggestion that isn’t enough, it’s not accomplishing anything, legal protest is too restrictive...but if you damage property, make a mess the authorities can’t ignore... _ that  _ makes an impact, makes the message heard. And once you start down that path, it’s a slippery slope, and soon you’re in so deep it’s hard to get out.” She paused, sipping her coffee and pulling a face. “And they’re careful who they target, of course. Pick people who are susceptible and vulnerable. Lee was both.”

“Why?” Meg looked confused.

“He met all the criteria.” Laura ticked them off on her fingers. “Political opinions sympathetic to the cause of planetary equality. Willingness to actively support and fight for those opinions. From a rich planet, with a father in the military, so with potentially useful cover and connections. And finally, a difficult family background.” Kara saw Zak flinch out of the corner of her eye.

“Why did that matter?” asked Meg.

“Think about it. If you had been in Lee’s place, if you’d got involved with a political group you started to feel uneasy about, what would you do?”

“I’d...talk to my parents. Get their opinion.” Kara could see the realisation dawning in Meg’s face.

“Exactly. You’d talk to your family, and they would probably reinforce your misgivings, persuade you to walk away. But if you don’t have that support...if you have an absent father you’re estranged from and a mother who’s an alcoholic…”

Zak stood up abruptly and walked over to the window. “And a younger brother you don’t confide in because you don’t want to worry him,” he said, his back turned.

“Precisely,” said Laura, watching him with sympathy. “Then you have no-one to turn to. Except your new friends, who take your side against your parents and encourage your anger towards them, who help and support you by say...paying for a trip home to help your brother…” Zak turned round, his eyes widening. “And you don’t notice how they’ve isolated you, how they’ve entangled you, until it’s too late.” She put down her coffee cup. “I’ve seen it happen many times over the years. These people are experts in exploiting weaknesses.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” said Meg quietly. “I forget how lucky I am sometimes to have my parents, I guess.”

“I’m just grateful you shared them with me,” said Zak, smiling at her. “I wouldn’t have got through those years after Mom died without them.” His face clouded. “They would have helped Lee too, if they’d known he needed it. I wish he’d told us about all this.”

“He couldn’t after he started working for me,” said Laura. “Official Secrets Act, and all that.”

“When did he start working for you?” asked Zak.

“I recruited him while he was in prison.”

“Eight years ago?” Zak stared at her. “He’s been working undercover for you all that time?”

His words struck Kara, made her imagine how it must have been for Lee. She’d known a few cops who’d done long undercover assignments, had seen how emotionally draining it was. Putting your life on the line every minute of every day. Kara had risked her own life many times in her years on the force, but it had always been in the heat of the moment, in a volatile situation, when she’d been riding so high on adrenalin that sometimes she had barely realised the scale of the risk she had taken until the shock had set in afterwards. What Lee had done was quite different, a cold, grinding, relentless calculation of risk and survival...she wasn’t sure if she could have endured it.

She said something of what she was thinking, and Laura nodded. “It’s not an easy path to walk. I offered to pull Lee out more than once, but he always refused. He had more inside access than anyone else could have got, you see. Because of Gianne.”

“He saved a lot of people today,” said Kara. 

“Both of you did,” said Laura. “If you hadn’t made it to the hotel with the message-”

“It was his message.” 

“And if you hadn’t memorised all the details of the SFM vehicles so we could find them on the traffic cameras...that saved us hours of valuable time.”

“Cop habit. And it’s not like I had anything else to do, locked in that truck.” 

Laura chuckled. “Very well, Kara, I won’t embarrass you any further. But I was impressed. Very impressed.”

“What happened to Billy Keikeya?” Meg asked. “Had he been kidnapped?”

“Yes. Lee managed to free him.” Laura gave her and Zak a brief summary of what had happened. “He and Dee will be able to leave our safe house and go home, now Gianne is dead and her network arrested.”

“It sounds like Lee’s achieved a lot working for you,” said Zak, his face scrunched up in thought. “Over the years.”

Laura nodded. “He’s saved more people than Billy Keikeya, and helped to stop more SFM plots than the one today.”

“Do you think...could you tell my father that?” asked Zak. His eyes fixed on Laura, bright and intense. “When he comes? So he knows what kind of person Lee really is.”

“Yes, Zak. I could certainly do that.” Laura’s smile lit up her whole face.

The door opened again, and this time it was a doctor. Kara stood up, her heart thumping, as her world narrowed down to the doctor’s words. She told them that the surgery to repair the bullet wounds had been successful, and they had found no serious internal injuries. Lee had been taken to the intensive care unit. She emphasised that he was still in a critical condition. Kara recognised how cautious her language was, how careful she was not to raise their hopes, but she felt her heart lift all the same, felt able to take a full breath for the first time since she had seen Lee lying unconscious in the ravine.

_ He’ll live _ , she told herself.  _ If he’s given the opportunity, he’ll live. He’s too stubborn not to. He’ll live. _

\---

**Galactica Hotel, Caprica, five months later**

  
  


Summer days in the Thessaly Alps could be treacherous, but today was an exception. Even now, at mid-morning, the sun was strong enough to warm Lee to the bone as he sat at a table on the terrace at the back of the hotel. He finished his last bite of breakfast as Zak stretched lazily in the chair opposite him, and grimaced.

“I don’t want to complain, but that kitchen is as hot as Hades today.”

“You’re getting no sympathy from me,” said Meg, tipping her face up to the sun. “It’s payback for when you’re as warm as toast all winter while Karl and I are freezing our asses off.”

Zak scowled at her. “Hard-hearted woman.”

“Yep, that’s me,” Meg agreed cheerfully, and started to stack their plates. “You’ve cleared your plate, Lee.”

“Well, Zak’s cooking is better than the hospital food. Marginally.”

His brother mustered the energy to give him the finger.

Meg picked up the plates, holding up one hand when Lee started to get up to help. “You stay right there. Your leg’s hurting, isn’t it?”

Lee opened his mouth to deny it, then changed his mind under Meg’s stern glare. “Yes.”

“I’m not surprised. Karl shouldn’t have let you wait tables at breakfast.”

“It wasn’t busy. I could manage.”

“You’re only three weeks out of hospital, Lee. You’re supposed to be taking it easy.” Lee wilted under her accusing gaze. He looked to Zak for help, but his brother only grinned.

“I wanted to help out. It seems only fair, since you’ve let me stay here-”

Zak’s smile disappeared. “Of course we did! What did you think I was going to do, Lee, let you struggle on your own in your flat?”

Lee didn’t understand why his brother sounded so angry. “I appreciate it, and it’s very kind of you, but I don’t want to take advantage-”

“Guys, calm down.” Meg’s voice cut through the charged air between them with fond exasperation as she put down the plates. “Lee, we know you won’t take advantage, and to be honest, it wouldn’t matter if you did. You nearly died.” Her voice trembled slightly. “And if you’d gone anywhere else to recover, Zak would have driven me mad fretting over you. So why don’t you pipe down, sit back, and let him look after  _ you _ for once.” She looked from one brother to the other and chuckled. “Wow. I’ve reduced you both to silence. Is there a blue moon in the sky?”

Zak looked as embarrassed as Lee felt. He found there was a warm glow kindling inside him at the idea of Zak worrying about him. Wanting to look after him.

“You’re right, Meg. I’m sorry,” he said, smiling at his brother awkwardly. “Old habits are hard to break. I’ll let you be the protective brother for a while. If you want.”

“It’s about damn time,” muttered Zak, flushing red to the roots of his hair.

Meg was openly laughing at them both. “You Adamas! Don’t be so gushing, Zak. You’ll end up doing something really embarrassing like hugging him next.” They both glared at her, but she only laughed harder. 

“If you really want to help out, Lee, you can always help us plan the wedding,” Meg went on, looking with a smile at the ring on her left hand.

“Oh no, I’m not stepping into that minefield,” said Lee, seizing on the change of subject with relief. “All I have to do as best man is not lose the rings and make a cheesy speech.”

Meg chuckled. “That’s what you think. I intend to make my wedding party work for their free food and booze.” She picked up the plates again. “I’d better get moving; those rooms won’t prep themselves. Lee, you are not allowed to move out of that chair for at least an hour. Got it?”

Lee saluted. “Yes, sir.”

“She’s right, you need your rest,” said Zak with a gleam in his eye that made Lee tense warily. “Before your visitor wears you out.”

“Zak.” Lee was tired of Zak ribbing him about this.

“That reminds me.” Meg’s eyes were brimming with laughter. “As I’m doing the rooms. Do I need to get one ready for Kara?”

“Not you as well!” Lee glared at her, feeling betrayed. “Zak and Karl were bad enough last night.”

“I’m simply asking a logistical question.”

“Kara and I are just friends.”

“Oh, of course you are,” said Zak, settling back in his chair with a wide grin. “I visit all my friends in hospital every day.”

“Shut up.”

“And then call them for over an hour every evening when they go away to convalesce.”

Seeing Kara was the one thing Lee missed about his time in hospital. Her visits had been the highlight of his days, bright spots in the tedium once he began to feel well enough to be bored. They’d played endless games of triad, argued over crossword puzzles...and they’d talked. Talked about anything and everything, including all the personal topics that had been off limits before. Their childhoods, their parents, Kara’s time as a cop, his work undercover...finally getting to know each other properly. It had been such a relief to be able to talk to her openly, with no need for lies or evasions, as if a crushing weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

The only thing they hadn’t talked about was their relationship, and Lee wasn’t sure where he stood with Kara now. They’d been frak buddies, and then tentative friends, and now real friends, and he had no idea what the next step would be. He knew what he wanted it to be, but he wasn’t sure if Kara felt the same. She’d kept things resolutely light and platonic between them while he was in hospital.

The thought of seeing her today, of maybe taking that next step, made him feel light-headed in a way the nagging pain in his shoulder and leg had not.

“Give him a break, Zak,” said Meg with a flicker of sympathy, looking at his face. “Remember, Lee. Rest. I don’t want to have to put you back on those crutches.”

“Was she always this bossy?” grumbled Lee, as she walked into the hotel.

“Oh, definitely,” said Zak, looking after Meg with a dreamy expression. “Wouldn’t have her any other way.”

Lee’s phone buzzed and he picked it up, hoping it was a message from Kara. 

It wasn’t.

“Is there a problem?” asked Zak, looking at his face.

“No. No, it’s a message from Dad.”

That had been one of the most surreal aspects of waking up in intensive care, finding his dad sitting next to his bed. Lee had thought he was dreaming. Later, it had made him realise exactly how serious his condition had been, how close he had come to dying.

He’d expected his father to withdraw again once it was clear Lee was going to pull through, to retreat back into distance and silence, but he hadn’t. He’d made it clear he wanted to reconcile, and even apologised to Lee for some of the things he’d said on the trip to his mother’s funeral.

“It was Laura,” Zak told him later. “She cornered him in the family room and forced him to listen to what had happened to you with the SFM and what you’d done working for her. I wish you’d seen it.” He looked almost reverential at the memory, his eyes wide with wonder. “It was frakking awesome. I’ve never seen anyone face Dad down like that before.”

“If anyone could do that, it would be Laura.” Secretly Lee was glad he hadn’t been around to see it. He’d have found it acutely embarrassing.

Whatever Laura had said, it had made an impact. Bill had stayed on Caprica even after Lee was moved out of intensive care, and only went back to Galactica when he was well enough to be transferred to the rehab unit. Since then, he’d sent regular calls and messages. Lee was tentatively starting to believe that this thaw might last. It meant much more to him than he had expected.

“What does Dad want?” asked Zak.

Lee scanned the message. “He’s got two weeks leave coming next month, and he wants to come and stay here, spend it with us.”

“I can’t decide if that’s heart-warming or terrifying,” mused Zak, then broke off as Lee’s face changed. “What?”

“He wants…” Lee couldn’t believe what he was reading. He could barely form the words. “He wants to bring Laura with him.”

“Laura? With him? As in  _ ‘with him’  _ with him?” Lee took comfort in the fact that Zak was as flummoxed as he was.

“It sounds like it.” Lee closed his eyes. “I don’t really want to think about it.”

“Me neither.” Zak was looking pale. “Dad  _ dating _ ? And  _ Laura _ ?”

“She’s my boss, and...”

“And they’re intimidating enough separately. Together, they’ll be…”

“I think you had the right word when you said terrifying.”

They stared at each other in consternation.

“Maybe I misunderstood,” said Lee, looking at the message again.

Zak stood up. “I’m going to start prepping lunch. I suddenly need a distraction.” 

Lee watched his brother walk away, then read the message again. He must have misunderstood. 

He hadn’t seen Laura for weeks. She’d come to see him a few times in hospital, and made it clear that he still had a place with the CSS.

“No more undercover work, obviously, I wouldn’t ask that of you. You don’t need to do any field work at all; you’d be incredibly useful as a desk officer if you’d prefer that. Whatever you want.”

“I’ll let you know,” Lee had said. He’d still been adjusting to the fact that he’d survived his confrontation with Gianne, that the path he had walked for so long had finally ended, and he was still here. He hadn’t expected that, had all but given up on the possibility years ago. He’d been in no condition to decide what to do with this unexpected future.

Laura must have seen that, because she hadn’t pressed him. Instead she’d looked at him with an odd expression and asked, “Do you ever feel I took advantage of you, Lee?”

“In what way?”

“When I recruited you. You were in a vulnerable situation. Maybe you feel I used undue pressure.” She spoke with an uncertainty Lee had never heard from her before.

“Who suggested that?” he asked, suspicion stirring. “Was it my brother?”

“Him and Kara.”

Lee considered the question. “I don’t think you did. The state I was in at the time...I saw working for the CSS as my way to redeem myself, and I wouldn’t have let anyone talk me out of it.” She still looked troubled. “Besides, I had plenty of opportunities to step down later. I know you’d have pulled me out at any time if I asked you to.”

“Of course I would.” She didn’t look reassured.

“You couldn’t pass up the opportunity I presented,” said Lee wryly. “That’s your job.” 

Laura stared at him for a moment, eyes very bright. “It’s also my job to stay detached from my operatives. It goes with the territory. But that doesn’t mean that...I don’t break my own rules, sometimes.” Her face held an unusual softness as she reached forward and touched his arm, squeezing gently. “I’m glad you’re still here, Lee. Get well.” She kissed him on the cheek, leaving Lee utterly speechless.

That was the last time he’d seen her. She hadn’t mentioned anything about seeing his dad...no, he must have misunderstood. He read over the message again, scrutinising the wording.

Two hands suddenly clapped over his eyes and he made a startled yelp.

“And here I thought you were a trained undercover agent. You need to brush up on those observational skills,” laughed a familiar voice in his ear.

Kara. Lee’s heart jumped into his throat as he pushed her hands away and twisted to look up into her smirking face. 

“I thought you weren’t getting here till this afternoon.” He knew he was smiling too widely, too unguardedly, but he couldn’t hold it back. He’d missed her so much in the last three weeks, even though they’d talked on the phone every night. It wasn’t the same as actually seeing her, breathing the same air.

“Thought I’d get up early,” said Kara, slumping into the chair next to him and stretching lazily. “I can do it, you know. With the right incentive.” 

She winked at him. Lee stared back, not quite sure how to interpret her words.

“You look better.” Kara grinned, but her eyes were soft as she looked him over. “Even if your wits have gone wandering.”

“So would yours, if you’d just discovered your dad might be dating your boss.”

Kara’s mouth fell open. “Your dad and Laura…?” Her eyes narrowed. “I should have guessed. All those lunches at the noodle bar, ‘because you need a break from the hospital, Bill’.” 

Her imitation of Laura was perfect, and Lee couldn’t help laughing, despite his lingering shock. “You’ve got her down.”

“I’ve had plenty of opportunity to study her recently.” 

“Of course you have.” Lee had mixed feelings about that, but he could see the suppressed excitement in Kara’s face, and knew he had to acknowledge it. “Come on, let’s see it then.”

Kara pulled a plastic card out of her pocket and put it down on the table with an awkward flourish. 

Lee picked it up. “Kara Thrace, Colonial Security Service. Has a good ring.” He looked closer and smirked. “Dear gods, that’s a terrible photo. You look almost cross-eyed.”

Kara snatched the card back from him with a glare. “It’s an official work photo. They’re always terrible.”

“Congratulations,” Lee said, in a softer voice. “Seriously. You’ll be a great field agent.” He was certain of that. All his reservations were due to his own mixed feelings about the CSS, nothing to do with Kara’s ability. “No second thoughts, now it’s official?”

Kara shook her head firmly. “I knew I wanted this as soon as Laura offered it to me. After everything that went down here...I could have done without being held prisoner, but the rest of it...following a real case, making a difference, it all felt good, you know? It’s what I missed about being a cop. I want more of it.”

The conviction in her voice made Lee smile. He was happy for her, that she’d found this. It made him remember how he’d felt when he first started working for the CSS himself, the feeling of purpose, that his work was useful and important. He’d lost that feeling, somehow, in the years that followed, submerged under weariness and compromises and doubt. Now, though, watching Kara smile proudly at her new badge, it seeped back. He remembered Zak telling him that he’d always needed a cause to fight for.

“Just as well you’re happy,” he said, keeping his voice light. “Laura won’t let you go now you have a badge.” 

“Tell me about it. She’s even given me a code name already.”

“Really? What is it?” 

Kara shook her head. “Not telling.”

“Surely it can’t be that bad? Is it rude?”

“No...just odd.” Kara looked at his amused face sourly. “I’m not Laura's golden boy, who gets given a god as a codename.” She glared at him for a moment, and then a wicked smile split her face. “She’ll have to stop the favouritism if she ends up being your stepmother.”

Lee cringed, and buried his face in his hands at the thought. “Kick me while I’m down, why don’t you?”

Kara laughed. “It’s not that bad. I think she and your dad will be good together. She certainly set him straight where you and Zak were concerned.”

Lee pulled a face. “Can we please talk about something else?” he begged.

“We can.” Kara’s face was suddenly serious. “Have you thought any more about what you’re going to do, Lee? When you’re fully recovered?”

“No. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said truthfully, and found it impossible not to smile. “You have no idea how good that feels to say. Everything about my life has been so restricted for so long…” Lee still found it hard to believe that it was all over, that he was free at last.

Well, maybe not completely free. Everyone he’d worked with in the SFM was in prison now, including Mark, but they’d get out some day. As far as they knew, all he’d done was free a couple of innocent bystanders because he was soft-hearted; none of them knew he’d been working for the CSS all along. They might put it together in the future, or try to pull him back into the SFM. He knew that he’d always have to be on his guard to some extent, but it didn’t seem to matter too much, now that his life was his own again. Now the important people in his life knew everything about him, and he didn’t have to lie to them any more. 

“Lee...I was wondering…” The unusual hesitancy in Kara’s voice caught his attention. “If you were going to stay in the CSS...I could use a good partner.” Lee had never seen her look so nervous, although she was doing her best to hide it. “If you wanted.” Her eyes darted towards his face, and then quickly away again. She picked at the hem of her jacket.

Lee took a deep breath, and phrased his reply carefully. “Maybe. I’m not sure yet what I want to do.” He saw disappointment and hurt flash across her face, and quickly reached out to take her hand, desperate not to make her feel he was rejecting her. “But thanks for the offer, Kara. I’m flattered. I couldn’t ask for a better partner, if I came back.”

Kara’s hand twisted in his grip, but she didn’t pull away, and Lee let out a long breath of relief. He knew now how sensitive she could be, under that veneer of bravado.

“You probably want to get away from all that, huh?” she said. Lee shrugged, and a challenging light sparked in her eyes. “If so, you’ll have to find something else to do that gives you that adrenalin rush.”

“Adrenalin rush?” Lee nearly pulled his hand away then, but Kara held firm, watching him with a knowing smile.

“One adrenalin junkie can always spot another. Are you going to tell me part of you didn’t enjoy it? Stringing them along, keeping one step ahead, playing them at their own game?”

The look in her eyes made Lee feel suddenly breathless, and uncomfortably exposed. He shifted awkwardly, wanting to deny it, but he couldn’t.

“Maybe I did,” he said grudgingly, and she laughed with an affection that took him by surprise.

“Oh, you did.”

Lee met her eyes, full of warmth and understanding, and suddenly her insight didn’t seem so intrusive. It seemed...almost comforting. 

“How do you do that?” he asked.

“Do what?”

“See me so clearly. No-one else ever has, except maybe Zak.”

Kara looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know, but...I could ask you the same thing. You see me clearly too.”

“And you don’t like that,” said Lee probingly, watching her face.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’m getting used to it.”

“Do you want to get used to it?”

“What does that mean?” Kara shot back. 

The air between them was suddenly thrumming as they stared at each other, poised on a knife edge.

This was it. Now or never. Lee took a deep breath, and jumped off that edge. 

“It means I want to ask you out on that date.”

Kara was silent. Lee counted the seconds, his heart thumping so loudly he was sure she must hear it.

“Then ask me, Lee,” she said finally. Lee felt her nails dig into his hand as she gripped it tightly. “I promise I won’t run for the hills.”

Their eyes met. Kara looked as nervous as he felt, but she was shining, shining brighter than he’d ever seen her.

“Are you sure?” he asked, hardly able to believe it.

“Of course I’m sure.” Her voice trembled. “You were in intensive care for three weeks, Lee. More than enough time for me to decide what I wanted to do if you lived.” 

The look on her face reminded him of the one Zak wore whenever those three weeks came up. It always made him feel absurdly guilty, that he had put them through so much fear and uncertainty. He instinctively reached out to comfort Kara now, lifting his other hand to run his thumb across her cheek.

“I thought of you, when I was lying in the ravine.” He’d never confessed this to her before. “Of how you told me to hang on, because you were coming back for me. I knew it was a vain hope when you said it, but...but somehow I still believed it. So I hung on. And...and you came back.” The wonder he felt at that, even now, flooded through his voice.

“Of course I did,” said Kara, low and fierce, as if she was angry with him for doubting. “I promised you I would. You can rely on me.”

Her simple words brought tears to Lee’s eyes. He’d never had someone that he could rely on before. But he knew he could rely on Kara, could trust her absolutely, without hesitation. His heart had known that for a long time, well before his brain caught up.

“And you can rely on me,” he said, wanting to give her that gift in return. “I promise you I’ll stick around. Do you believe me?” He tilted her face towards him so that their eyes met, so she could see he meant it.

Kara stared at him for a long moment, then nodded once, jerkily. “I believe you.” 

Lee wasn’t sure she did entirely. There was still a glimmer of hesitation in her eyes. He didn’t mind. He had plenty of time now to prove that her trust in him was justified, to be there for her whenever she needed him. To stay.

He leaned forward to kiss her, and she moved to meet him. The taste of her mouth was warm and familiar, but something...something felt different. As if this was the first time he had kissed her.

In a way it was, he realised. It was the first time he’d kissed her with his whole heart. No secrets, no lies, no holding back. No fears. Yes, this ‘thing’ between them, what he felt for her...it might be huge, might be overwhelming...yes, it could drown him and sweep him away...but that didn’t matter, because he would be with her.

Suddenly all his doubts seemed ridiculous. He broke the kiss and pulled back to look at her, his heart pounding. 

“What the hell, Kara, let’s do this. Let’s be partners.”

Kara blinked at him in bewilderment.

“In the CSS?”

“Yes. That too. In everything.” 

His hands were on her shoulders, and he could feel that she went absolutely still. Lee tensed, abruptly afraid he had gone too far, too fast. 

“Lee, are you...” Her voice shook. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” 

A smile broke across her face like the sun rising, and her eyes sparked as she picked up the gauntlet he had thrown down. 

“Then let’s do it, Lee. Yes. Let’s be partners.”

Kara stood up, and before Lee quite knew what was happening she was sitting on his lap, and then her hands gripped his shoulders and her mouth fastened on his...and this was familiar, this shot him right back to that first night together…

“It was never...casual for me…between us,” he murmured, against her lips. “Not really.”

“Me neither...although I wouldn’t...admit it.” Kara trailed her mouth along his jawline and nipped at his ear. “Gods, I missed this, Lee.”

Lee could only agree. He pulled her closer against him, and ran his hands up under her top, stroking her warm skin.

“We are...going to be...the best damn CSS agents...there have ever been.” Kara’s mouth moved down to his neck.

“Mmhm,” Lee agreed, kissing along the shoulder bared by her tank top. “We’ll leave...everyone else...trailing in our wake.”

“Choking on our dust.” Her hand snaked up under his shirt. “We’ll be unstoppable.”

“With my brains and your skills-”

“Excuse me. Shouldn’t that be my brains and your skills?” Kara braced one palm against his chest and pulled back, smiling at him with mock outrage.

“Who discovered the details of the bomb attack?”

“Who got the information to Laura?”

“Who rescued you so you could get the information to Laura?”

“Who memorised the details of the vehicles so Laura could track them?”

Lee laughed, feeling weightless, as if he could soar up into the clouds and never come down. “And we weren’t even working together. You’re right, we’re going to be amazing.”

Kara laughed back at him. She leant forward again, and they plunged into another kiss. Lee let himself drift away. Nothing seemed to exist in the world at that moment but Kara, her warm weight on top of him, the sounds she made in her throat as he explored her skin with his hungry mouth and hands. She bit down on his neck and shifted over him into just the right position, and Lee couldn’t hold back a moan.

“For gods’ sake, you two, get a room!”

The loud voice shattered the spell, reminding them both where they were. They pulled back reluctantly to see Karl smirking at them from across the terrace.

“Frak off, Karl,” said Kara, although it lacked her usual force, stunted by the width of her smile.

“At least it answers the question of whether Kara needs her own room.” Zak appeared beside Karl, looking equally amused.

“Frak off, Zak,” said Lee. He couldn’t quite muster the annoyance either.

“Lee’s supposed to be resting!” called Meg, from behind Zak. Lee could hear all three of them cackling like hyenas.

“I haven’t moved out of this chair!” he shouted back, and their cackling rose to hysterical proportions.

Lee made the mistake of looking into Kara’s eyes, and nearly dissolved into hysteria himself.

“Frak off!” they called together, struggling to get the words out without laughing.

“We’re going, we’re going,” said Karl. “I guess we’ll see you later.”

“Much later, by the look of it,” said Zak.

“Don’t get carried away and scare off the guests!” said Meg. 

The three of them departed with identical smug grins.

“See, I told you they would be insufferable,” said Kara. “They’re not going to let up on us for a while.”

Lee didn’t really care. He tried to pull her mouth back down to his, but Kara moved back, her eyes dancing wickedly.

“Hold on there, Lee. We haven’t even been on our first date yet.” She pushed him back, one hand on his shoulder. “When’s it going to be?”

Lee glared at her. “Are you really doing this now?”

“Yes. Yes I am,” said Kara, with her own smug grin. “So, when are we going on this date?”

Lee sighed in frustration. “How about today?” He tried to pull her closer.

“I can work with that,” said Kara, laughing as she resisted his attempts. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t care,” said Lee, exasperated. There was only one thing he was interested in doing at this particular moment. “Well...no fishing. And absolutely no motel rooms.”

Pure mischievous glee spread across Kara’s face. “No motel rooms, huh? Well, that raises all kinds of interesting possibilities. There are other things to do in lakes besides fishing...have you ever been skinny dipping, Lee?”

“No.”

“Oh, of course you haven’t. Too tame for you, wasn’t it? You were too busy vandalising buildings and setting fires.”

Lee was blindsided. He teetered on the edge of offence, and then saw the serious shade in her eyes under the teasing, and understood what she was trying to do.

Maybe it was a good idea. Maybe humour would help to deal with it all. Lee could suddenly see a pattern being set; Kara encouraging him to laugh at himself, to take life a little less seriously.

Perhaps he could return the favour. Encourage her to give people a chance to show they could be trusted. Persuade her that it wasn’t a weakness to lower her guard sometimes.

“I’ve never gone skinny dipping,” he said, and saw the flash of relief in her eyes when he grinned, “but I could be persuaded.”

Kara giggled. “I’m sure you could, Mr Adrenalin Junkie.” Her smile was wicked, and Lee found himself smiling back. “Why don’t I start persuading you.” She let him pull her back down this time, and her mouth covered his. 

A new chapter of his life. Lee wasn’t entirely sure how it would turn out, especially with the CSS, but for the first time in years, he was looking forward to finding out. And he was absolutely sure of one thing. Being Kara’s partner was going to be awesome.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the story of how Starbuck and Apollo became the most successful agents in the history of the Colonial Security Service. :) I’m sure they end up running the show when Laura retires as well. 
> 
> I had such a fun time writing this story. Thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos, they were an immense encouragement. I appreciated each and every one.
> 
> I started writing this fic because I was really struggling with some original writing, and I needed a break. So I wrote this, and it’s helped immensely, and I’m going back to tackle the original writing again. I don’t have an idea yet for another BSG story, but one may well come along.


End file.
